Forum Discussion

Care-ee's avatar
Care-ee
Member
13 years ago

Arrogance or Denial

Hi,

My name is Kerry, I am 44 and was diagnosed with breast cancer on Wednesday April 3, 2013 (one day after my 44th Birthday).

I have been reading so many amazing experiences on this website over the past 24 hrs, hesitant to actually create a profile (perhaps 50% denial, 50% scared witless) but it wasn't until I lifted my laptop to prepare dinner and found myself whistling Destiny's Child 'I'm a Survivor' that I decided that 'I need this'. I need to know more.

I was advised by my medical team that I am to have chemo first. This is to shrink the tumour prior to an advised masectomy. Friday April 12th is my next appointment for further advice and treatment plans.

I am terrified but I feel okay about it. Then I feel guilty as if I shouldn't be allowed to feel okay. I know that my life as I know it is about to change. But I like my life. I am worth fighting for. Is this arrogance, or denial?

x

 

chemotherapy
mastectomy
  • Care-ee's avatar
    Care-ee
    Member
    12 years ago

    Hi Anna,

    Thanks for taking the time to share your experience. I am amazed at how well you coped with your chemo.

    I am only day 3 of my first treatment of 6 cycles of FEC-D. It hasn't been too awful with the exception of constant nausea and a thumping headache.

    I am going wig shopping this afternoon. It's a little daunting, but I didn't realise that there was such a range of styles, colours, etc.

    I am so thankful that there is so much support. This website where women are comfortable and willing to share their journey to help others, the medical support, friends and family. Quite incredible.

    I wish you good health & happiness too. Kerry

     

     

  • SunnyJ's avatar
    SunnyJ
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Kerry - I just wanted to pitch in and say chemo is not nearly as bad as you think it is going to be. I got a wig that was nearly the same as my real hair, worked through the whole thing and many people, even now, many of my colleagues never even knew I was sick. I had a mastectomy but a skin-sparing one with an immediate reconstruction and you can hardly tell the difference between both breasts now. (Make sure you research your options on this and if you are not happy be sure to get a second opinion). Good luck and best wishes, Anna
  • Lou_V's avatar
    Lou_V
    Member
    12 years ago
    I am 7 months into my diagnoses and a week out of treatment and still find there are many moments when I experience denial. My advice is to stay as connected to as many people as you can friends family workmates. Go out when you feel up to it, try and continue with as many activities as you physically can. Your mind will thank you and it will help you stay positive. Good luck and take care.
  • michelle82's avatar
    michelle82
    Member
    12 years ago

    I think u go into a little disbelief and dont no why me when u get diagnosed. I was 28 and am now nearly 31. I cant say what u r about to endeavour is not going to b easy but u will get through it. My worst part was hair loss through chemo. My advice is start shortening your hsir now and shave it before it beats u. Chemo affect s everyone different. I had a bad few days during week two of my every three week cycle but I worked during treatment. Surgery is about a 3 week set back for mastectomy if you do your exercise. Good luck with it all. U will look back on this time and go wow.. in the meantime just keep moving forward. It's over before u no it. Msg if u need a chat

  • Renae4's avatar
    Renae4
    Member
    12 years ago

    Hi

    Its my first time on this site and yours is the first post i have read and im suprised to find that we were diagnosed on the very same day. I guess i had never thought that on the same day i was receiving my life changing news and choking on my own mixed emotions someone else, somewhere else, was going through the same thing. I just wanted to say hi, wish you luck and tell you that i have been feeling the same way. I feel fine - i think it is just a coping mechanism and i've decided that if it helps then denial is my new best friend right now.

    Renae xx

     

  • Care-ee's avatar
    Care-ee
    Member
    12 years ago

    Hi Sam

    Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. It is greatly appreciated - especially considering everyone here is going through this journey @ different stages and various experiences.

    I will endeavour to stay positive! I really liked your tolerance level to Chemo!

    Do hope you are doing well.

  • samkclarke's avatar
    samkclarke
    Member
    12 years ago

    Hi Kerry,

    Yes it sucks mate.  You are the one that has to go through it but you knuckle down and get on with the job.  I'm now 15 months into it, diagnosed just before my 40th birthday.  I've now had a double mastectomy and trust me, you just want those *$%# off!  The chemo is tolerable.  Get ready to wipe out 12months.  Don't forget to keep a diary!

    Stay positive and draw from all the good influences in your life.

    All the best.

  • AnneMP's avatar
    AnneMP
    Member
    12 years ago
    It's not arrogance or denial, it's survival!! The ability to stay positive through this journey plays a huge part in your healing process. Life changes through this but it also goes on AND goes back to normal, and normal is what you want!! You need to handle this whatever way you want and whatever helps you get through this the best way possible. Good luck, I wish you the very best for what's to come. It is a journey you will never forget but you will come out of it a much stronger person. Anne xxx