AC Chemo - Round 2 - Day 8 (the burning backside returns)
End of day 7 still had me very apprehensive about my tummy and GI troubles of round 1 making a comeback any day and the fact that day 7 was the 1st day my tummy did not empty 1st thing in the morning but had about half a days delay was not making this gorgeous sunny day any easier on me. Remembering the troubles of week 2 last round I am still spooked by my GI tract. A decision had to be made if I was to brave my fears of Monster Gut making a comeback and make the most of the last day of this sunny long weekend by going for a picnic with my friends or stay home 4th week in a row.
Morning started with a case od 'cement poos' like the one the morning after my 1st Chemo. I could not believe that for the previous 7 days everything worked and no need for Movicol and then suddenly overnight I went from loose stools to 'need to go but cannot push it out' poos. Fearfull of aggravating the previously bleeding internal hemmoroid and a fisher round 1 caused and I just managed to heal pre round 2 I sheepeshly retreated with a lot of timmy discomfort off to make myself a cup of movicol.
Glorius morning outside but inside a very pathetic depressed me... I never realised how much these 4 weeks had lower my mood and just how much I really wanted to meet my 'de facto family' in the park. Thinking back to last round I was terrified of what could go wrong day 8 but then decided I would pack up, go as early as possible and bolt at the 1st sign of trouble.
I am so happy we did that. Had a fantastic day in the gorgeous National Park, yes took my own cooked foor (thank you Aldi for the picnic thermal cooker as could bring to boil a casserole type meal, pop it into the special casing and then it cooked from residual heat the next 2 hrs on thenway there and while we chatted). Yes I brought a cooked meal as had feared eating feeshly BBQed meats since did not want to risk bacteria overgrowth and medium cooked foods seem to be the enemy neutropenia...
Lovely time was had by all. Yes I had an anxiety attack quietly the 1st hour as kept on waiting for a big doom and gloom moment. Had to warn my friends about my thuderous farting episodes and my inability to predict them or control them. Funny how they all though I was overexaturating and having them on when I tried to explain they are shocking horrifyingly loud... I guess until subjected to an arse ripping Chemo farting explosion one cannot imagine how bad they are...
Luckily for me my GI tract decided to remain locked / frozen. The whole day no movement of any kind - kind of suspended animation moment when watching a sci-fi movie...
Great time was had by all.. So much so that upon insistance of the boys I even tried some of their BBQ delicacies which especially for me they grilled 3 times longer. Who would have known that after blandness of 4 weeks of chemo 'diet' overcooked marinated pork neck, skinless sausage and a piece of choriso could taste that good. There is no way they could get me to try chicken or seafood but even those other 3 (what i would normally consider basic foods) tasted like a royal feast...
Sun made an appearance but we were ready with a sun shade erected and everyone moving into it so I could stay out of the sun... kids got into a fight over whose idea it was to trick the 8yo onto eating a marinated chilli peper (yes we wanted to murder them), dogs got into a fight over the leftover bones from my thermal cooked casserole (a bit of drama and separation of the pooches and 1 overly protective doggie mumma), boys offcourse went on with typical discussion on how to cook what and just how good the outcome was (not to mention it was like.allways the best ever due to a newly found cooking technique or a special BBQ implement).
I mean we all had the 'chemo girl' and her experiences moments when i got there initially but then chemo was forgotten and I became the old me again and life went back to being normal and we went back to being a normal 'family'.
All I can say is that I am so so so glad for braving my fears. My gut completely dead it seems kind of paralised allowed me wonderfull 4.5 hours of normality, friendly baormality people I love. After some 3 hours.I realised it could not last forever so slowly had hubby start to gather out things, pack them away and geat ready for a fast retreat should there be a need and by 4pm the old familiar movements in the gut reminded me the calm would soon be over.
Managed to retreat without alarming everyone then we started speeding home. I swear my brain must have paralised my intestines and my backside while in the park as within 2 seconds of getting into the car Hell broke loose.
Gas erruptionsn started as the angry beast had been awaken... As the thundering farting began so did the now familiar feeling of my backside being bathed in hydrochloric acid... Yes, I was again squeeling "my arse is on fire" and felt the old familiar afterburn and the backside skin expanding and swelling up as a result of it.
It is weird how I always knew it would happen again and 1st time it lasted 4 days so not like this is a surprise yet the agony and intensity of it shocked me again. All I could again think of was will we make it home before anything worse happens...
We luckilly did as it seems my monstorous backside was satisfied with plumes of arse burning gases. Pretty much straight away I tried dousing it with cool water, cream wash and the steroid cream but there was no cure. So the rest of the day was spent in me staying horizontal wishing to drag my backside arround on the ground like a dog or to shove a piece of ice in there to cool the fire.
All in all this also managed to release some of that 'cement poo' which now was more of a molten lava and that was it for me. Hemmoroid cream and suppositories used, me in horizontal position squeeling how my arse is on fire was the anticlimatic end to the day.
Still super happy to have gone to the picninlc realising just much those little things I previously took for granted and frankly did mlnot even value much mean in the great scheme of things. And at the same time super dissappinted by my reaction and distress at the reappearance of the molten lava poos and hydrocholoric acid farting and constantly burning backside - i knew it would come back... I survived it last time so why is it distressing me THIS much ??????????
Jel
