Reconstruction

Oh and I do have to say,, I look great in a tee shirt without a bra lol and I believe it makes me look younger being so 'perky' lol

Mechell :)

Hey Jillian, I just found your post, I have trouble getting around this site, and was thinking of you and wondering how you are doing? I hope you are well and to hear from you as soon as you feel up to it,,, sending you hugs ,,Mechell xxxxoooo

Tonya, that is a false smile, lol, i had to think of something i loved as it was for Facebook, haha,,

Well,, its now what, bout 5wks, I read someones post about being back at  the gym after 3wks and lifting 2k weights and had a sook ,, Louise, I really dont know whats going on,, Im still on antiBiotics,(just in case) and when I went to the surgeon on last Monday, she removed the stitches (about 5 where my nipple would have been,, she said that after the 2nd surgery where they flushed it out, then was stitched up again, those stitches (whatever they were made of) she said I was allergic to them?? Sounds a bit odd to me,, however, ,,

,,,,I was then 'taped across that area, its about nearly 2inches, with a gap for leakage, (lymphatics) ,,, On the Wednesday, we changed them at home and pulled the gap shut as there has been no leakage,, So far so good,, I find myself holding them when I get up and down, I am sleeping on the couch sitting upright so I dont wake up on my side,(always do that!) and doing nothing,, ,,

Im just ,, annoyed, for want of another word used freely around home lol, that I have had this setback AND that it has put my healing time back by 2-3wks. My surgeon says its not a race and dont compare myself with others, but awwww, Im human after all,!!!

Ohh, another thing that happened after Monday, the left side (cancer/scar side) which was all healed up and 'bewdeeful' got a few drips coming out of it, in the nipple region, so have put tape strips on that too, ,,

the receptionist said to me about evry 3 yrs someone gets a problem and youre it!! Thanks mandy ,lol,,

So i have been vegin out  on my couch in boxers and singlet, feeling totally unattaractive, annoyed with myself, (why?) and watchin the box and movies. Cannot concentrate, you all know the one!! Yesterday I had a meltdown /panic attack for about  an hour, I think it may have been a buildup of SOOO many emotions and hopefully cathartic for my body,,,, I do the visualisation in my head constantly and think Im positive,, (history of depression and not in a black hole) I can still laugh at my Jack Russell 'talking' at the door when he wants his dinner, so Im doing okay,,

I do have trouble getting around this site though lol, is that just a blond thing? they said I can no longer use chemobrain, How rude!! haha

So will keep you posted and thanks for your sincerity,, Louise, dont apologise to us for feeling down, we know where you are sister and send you love and light,,, Tonya its too early for them to be even, but I must say i DO look more athletic than I ever have before, lol, they are so high and firm!! Now I just need the rest of mt to look like Michelle Bridges lol,, Not as bad as i thought it would be, going from G to D,, I hid away all my B N T pretty Bras Id spent a fortune on, funnily enough when I had the lump, (the falsie never fitted in them) but I didnt want to come home to these huge brassies',, but yeh, its okay, not so small after all, but want to get well so can get back on my treadmill, thats not helping my headspace either,,,

,will chat to you all soon,, thanks so much, it DOES help to read your comments,, (not the chic back at the gym tho' lol) and its nice to know you care

love and peace Mechell xxxooo

Oh, one thing, it doesnt hurt very much, theres a positive!! :0

Thanks Louie your a gem!! Yes I feel fine then not so fine. It is all a bit crazy.

When I was diagnosed they told me that 1st I wasn't going to die (certainly a good outcome), 2nd I will have to have a mastectomy (not great news) and that no worries we can make a new one for you. I keep in my mind that one day in the near future I can have the D cup I have always wanted. I am actually only a/b cup at the moment. But the initial surgery and then the expander is a bit of a weird feeling. Just don't know how I am going to react when I look down and have not much there any more. so many questions. Will I be able to go back to the gym? Will everyone know? Well I suppose my journey starts on Monday and the beginning of all the answers to my questions.

Stay strong yourself. As I said to Mechell, it is woman like yourself that are keeping me strong!!

Take care,

Love Jillian

You poor darl - so sorry to hear it's a rocky recovery for you.My motto has become: prepare for the worst but hope for the best. I think it's more the norm to have problems after surgery than have everything go perfectly,Sometimes it's 2 steps forward and then 1 step back.Just go with the flow and be patient- what else can we do.Are there some positives ie.are you happy with the look of your new boobs?Maybe it's too early to tell.I see a hint of a smile on your face in your pic - hang on to it and don't let the medical crap get you too down.

              Sending hugs- Tonya xx

Hey Louise and Jillian and whoever else is listening!!

Well, its been just over 3wks now and its still NQR! The op went well, implants, the most painful bit was the suction on the drainage tubes lol. So was on AntiBiotics as a deterrent to any germs, in hospital draining for a week, came home over Easter and sprung a leak so to speak, the lymph fluid didnt know where to go so it came out the stitch hole on one breast and a drainage hole on the other side,, I leaked around the house, lol, over Easter and Wednesday went back into hospital.

More surgery which they flushed out the fluid which was starting to look a bit suss and another week was spent in hospital, but only 2 tubes instead of 4! Plus antibiotics of course. Felt good, came home,, doctors orders, "do nothing for a week", so didnt even make a cuppa tea!,, yes I have good hired help,lol. Changed bandages again Wednesday and noticed a leak, with a great deal of swelling under my arm,, (btw, several nurses said to me if I  was going to have trouble it would be the right one and how right they were!)

Wemt to local GP Friday, leaking more fluid by now and got more antibiotics. Now my stitches have come undone in 2-3 places and am going into see surgeon this afternoon, probably be drained --so love the idea of needles in my breasts lol.

So I guess I will keep you posted as to how this goes. 

When I got sick, I said 'why me' as we all did im sure, but a friend said, 'why NOT you', and I have kept that in mind, how special I am I was picked from 1-8 women for this task. But I have just known that I would have reco and it would be all good again, so its starting to get a bit emotional for me, as in 'wHY ME'? cos im ova it,,,,Is it too soon, 3wks in the grand scheme of things that started in Sep 2010?! Seems like it today sisters.

Any encouragement shall be gladly recieved and i will keep you posted

love and light to you/for us all

Mechell xxxxoooo

Hi there,

It is good to read your blog. Good luck with this part of your journey. I hope it all works out for you.

I have been lucky enough, so far, that I wont need Chemo, but am due for a skin sparing mastectomy on the right side. I can''t wait to hear how the implants go for you. This has been offered to me as maybe my only option as I dont have enough fat to make a new breast. Woudl have to go smaller and I am already an a/b cup :(. A few people are saying that the implants are not the best way to go. Anyway still in my investigation stage.

Good luck and can''t wait to hear the outcome for you.

Cheers Jillian