Tonya, that is a false smile, lol, i had to think of something i loved as it was for Facebook, haha,,
Well,, its now what, bout 5wks, I read someones post about being back at the gym after 3wks and lifting 2k weights and had a sook ,, Louise, I really dont know whats going on,, Im still on antiBiotics,(just in case) and when I went to the surgeon on last Monday, she removed the stitches (about 5 where my nipple would have been,, she said that after the 2nd surgery where they flushed it out, then was stitched up again, those stitches (whatever they were made of) she said I was allergic to them?? Sounds a bit odd to me,, however, ,,
,,,,I was then 'taped across that area, its about nearly 2inches, with a gap for leakage, (lymphatics) ,,, On the Wednesday, we changed them at home and pulled the gap shut as there has been no leakage,, So far so good,, I find myself holding them when I get up and down, I am sleeping on the couch sitting upright so I dont wake up on my side,(always do that!) and doing nothing,, ,,
Im just ,, annoyed, for want of another word used freely around home lol, that I have had this setback AND that it has put my healing time back by 2-3wks. My surgeon says its not a race and dont compare myself with others, but awwww, Im human after all,!!!
Ohh, another thing that happened after Monday, the left side (cancer/scar side) which was all healed up and 'bewdeeful' got a few drips coming out of it, in the nipple region, so have put tape strips on that too, ,,
the receptionist said to me about evry 3 yrs someone gets a problem and youre it!! Thanks mandy ,lol,,
So i have been vegin out on my couch in boxers and singlet, feeling totally unattaractive, annoyed with myself, (why?) and watchin the box and movies. Cannot concentrate, you all know the one!! Yesterday I had a meltdown /panic attack for about an hour, I think it may have been a buildup of SOOO many emotions and hopefully cathartic for my body,,,, I do the visualisation in my head constantly and think Im positive,, (history of depression and not in a black hole) I can still laugh at my Jack Russell 'talking' at the door when he wants his dinner, so Im doing okay,,
I do have trouble getting around this site though lol, is that just a blond thing? they said I can no longer use chemobrain, How rude!! haha
So will keep you posted and thanks for your sincerity,, Louise, dont apologise to us for feeling down, we know where you are sister and send you love and light,,, Tonya its too early for them to be even, but I must say i DO look more athletic than I ever have before, lol, they are so high and firm!! Now I just need the rest of mt to look like Michelle Bridges lol,, Not as bad as i thought it would be, going from G to D,, I hid away all my B N T pretty Bras Id spent a fortune on, funnily enough when I had the lump, (the falsie never fitted in them) but I didnt want to come home to these huge brassies',, but yeh, its okay, not so small after all, but want to get well so can get back on my treadmill, thats not helping my headspace either,,,
,will chat to you all soon,, thanks so much, it DOES help to read your comments,, (not the chic back at the gym tho' lol) and its nice to know you care
love and peace Mechell xxxooo
Oh, one thing, it doesnt hurt very much, theres a positive!! :0
