My experience nearly done - I hope forever!

After a year and two months I have finally come to the end of almost all of my treatment and now "just" continue on Tamoxifen for the next years! Yesterday I even had my port-a-cath removed. Can't believe that they just gave me a local for the removal. In hindsight I should have asked for an anti-anxiety med. The experience was not pleasant - having to hear the sounds of cutting and feel the tugging... Then sent home with no pain meds! Just as well I have a few pain tablets left over from my mastectomy/reconstruction last year! But anyway, that's it now except for this Tamoxifen tablet everyday. The past year brought biopsies; lumpectomy; 3 rounds of FEC; 10 weekly Taxols; 12 days of radiotherapy; bilateral mastectomy; free TRAM reconstruction; surgery to remove a suspicious ovarian cyst (it was benign); Tamoxifen and many many scans and tests. At the age of 47 all of that has left me with a number of side-effects: loss of my hair, mild neuropathy in my fingers, fatigue, cataracts (from the steroid chemo pre-meds), blocked eye ducts, dry eyes, weight gain, painful "widespread arthritic changes" and intermittent mild nausea from the Tamoxifen. I kept my full-time job through all of it and am now finding my visits to my centre's psychologist desperately necessary. In hindsight I should have taken more time off to look after me... With a triple positive diagnosis the time this is most likely to come back is during the next 2-3 years, but there will always be a chance of it coming back so there is always fear sitting at the back of my mind everytime I feel an ache or get a headache. I started blogging a couple of months ago as a form of therapy I guess (http://jennt28.wordpress.com/) and this weekend I am off to a Cancer Council program called Living Well After Cancer (has anyone else been to one of these?). I have loved being able to read everyone's blogs here. I didn't attend a face-to-face support group because they all seemed to be during the day and I was at work so my support has come from women online here and at breastcancer.org. Through these I have found such good friendships and met a number of women from my groups in person which has been wonderful. Anyway, this has been a ramble... I just wanted you all to know how much I have appreciated having this site available :-) Jenn