Breast surgery and reconstruction

Thank you so much to everyone who responded to my post. It was wonderful to read the responses from women who have experienced this journey.

My family and friends have been amazing since my diagnosis. But though they try as hard as they can to understand what is going on for me sometimes I feel as though I can't really tell them how I feel or express the questions and concerns that I have as I need to be strong for them. If I am strong then so are they. After I had my original diagnosis I told the surgeon that I wanted a full mastectomy but allowed myself to be talked out of it because she didn't believe it was necessary and a lumpectomy was the most appropriate way to go. When I had the review after my surgery and was told that I would need a mastectomy I was devastated. Even though I am trying to let it go, I feel that if I had have stood my ground with her initially I would not now be looking at further surgery. Intellectually I realise that this is not the way to go as I can't change anything now but emotionally I am finding this a challenge as these thoughts keeps pushing their way to the surface. I know it's not healthy and that I am just adding to the stress that I'm feeling about the decisions that need to be made about my mastectomy surgery and possible later breast reconstruction.

I guess also I am wondering why I am finding it more challenging to be as strong and positive as I have been. I know my outcome will be so much better if I can stay strong but at the moment I seem to be a bit overwhelmed and at times can't stop allowing myself to let things get the better of me.

Sorry not a great way to start by going off into a big sooky la la. Time for a bit of sock pulling up but thanks for the opportunity to be a bit self indulgent :-)