Slowly moving forward:)
Hi Ladies, as the title of my blog suggests I am slowly moving forward, bit by bit. I have been on my hormone tablets (Anastrozole) for 10 days, apart from some confusion sometimes (a little like chemo brain) not much else to report on them, maybe a little too soon to tell, early days.
My mammogram and ultrasound has been moved back 9 days to 23/7 due to refurbishment at the imaging department at the hospital. That means the surgeon's appointment also gets moved back. I'm not too stressed about it all, and that is odd for me, considering my depression usually has me thinking glass is half empty.
I am having a few sleep issues, I sleep well when I do eventually fall asleep, the getting off to sleep is the hard part. The oncologist prescribed some knock out pills and my GP gave e some milder ones. I'm alternating between the two. This time of night used to be my favourite time, pillow talk with my partner, we still do that but when the lights go out my mind goes wandering. I find myself thinking about random past things eg. what my mother must have went through with her breast cancer in the 60's when treatment was primitive. I start remembering my oral thrush which freaked me out as it was so severe, I keep running my tongue around my mouth just to make sure it's alright.
These things are all in the past and I tell myself to stay in the present, I start chastising myself and end up getting out of bed and doing something to occupy my mind. I don't like the thought of sleeping pills but now I'm taking them because lack of sleep is the worst thing for my depression. I wonder if I have a sort of post traumatic stress thing going on?
On the brighter side, the magnesium tablets the oncologist suggested for my restless legs has worked wonderfully. I have had only 2 mild cases since the end of May:) I'm getting used to the way my body is now and more accepting and realistic about my recovery, thanks to Deanne for her wise words. My partner is doing ok, mostly due to medication and not stressing about me as much.
My GP tends to think I may be able to return to work in August for some short shifts, fingers crossed. I check in on this website mostly every day and I marvel at what us women go through and how each of us cope in our different ways. I used to feel bad sometimes for not coping and reading how others were soldiering on, but we are so different and I know now that it's ok to be me.
Anyway ladies, I sincerely hope everybody is as well as they can be, it's a heck of a 'journey', take care,
Hazel xx
