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janes28
janes28 Member Posts: 3
edited October 2016 in Newly diagnosed
Hi my name is Jane I am 35 and I was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 weeks ago. I had a masectomy on my right breast 2 days later and am starting chemo in a couple of weeks.

I am petrified about starting chemo, I have a 2, 6 and 10 year old and was a very fit and active person. I am so scared about how we are all going to cope and what it's going to do to me.

I am still really sore from the surgery, I had a bleed so needed a second surgery the following night which is why I'm not healing as well as my surgeon would have liked and I have a pretty bad case of cording.

I know I sound all doom and gloom but I do have good days, trying to focus on the positives but struggling. I am feeling very overwhelmed with what I have to organize before chemo and also having problems dealing with the reactions of family and friends. They are all very supportive and understanding but for some reason I am finding them hard to deal with. I am so scared about seeing them all once chemo starts and the looks of pity and sympathy.

I am planning a reconstruction ASAP but my doctors and nurses seem reluctant to talk about it yet but it is very important to me. I need to have a plan to work towards.

Trying to stay strong, signing off xxx Jane
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  • Michelle_R
    Michelle_R Member Posts: 901
    edited March 2015
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    Welcome to this wonderful site, although I am very sorry you are joining us.  You will find all the support in the world here, from the pink sisters who have all been there, and know first hand what you are going through.

    It has been a full on 4 weeks for you and the feelings of disbelief and shock at diagnosis probably still haven't faded at all.  Big cyber hug to you..  Family and friends often haven't a clue what to say to help - half the time we don't either! - feeling the love sometimes has to be enough.

    Between us here, we have probably experienced every form of chemo, and there are lots of stories and advice on all of them - just use the Search Box.  Some of us had an easier run with chemo than others, but we all came through it and you will, too.  When you are ready, post what program you are on, and I am sure you will receive many responses from us all.  It is overwhelming at first, so keep a notebook handy to list everything you need, want, experience - your life will be taken over by appointments.  Just take one day at a time.  Don't look too far ahead.  Small steps. If you have a Look Good Feel Better near you, it is really worth going - a lot of fun, and we need fun wherever possible!  Stay  in touch.  Will be thinking of you.  Michelle xx

  • Michelle_R
    Michelle_R Member Posts: 901
    edited March 2015
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    Welcome to this wonderful site, although I am very sorry you are joining us.  You will find all the support in the world here, from the pink sisters who have all been there, and know first hand what you are going through.

    It has been a full on 4 weeks for you and the feelings of disbelief and shock at diagnosis probably still haven't faded at all.  Big cyber hug to you..  Family and friends often haven't a clue what to say to help - half the time we don't either! - feeling the love sometimes has to be enough.

    Between us here, we have probably experienced every form of chemo, and there are lots of stories and advice on all of them - just use the Search Box.  Some of us had an easier run with chemo than others, but we all came through it and you will, too.  When you are ready, post what program you are on, and I am sure you will receive many responses from us all.  It is overwhelming at first, so keep a notebook handy to list everything you need, want, experience - your life will be taken over by appointments.  Just take one day at a time.  Don't look too far ahead.  Small steps. If you have a Look Good Feel Better near you, it is really worth going - a lot of fun, and we need fun wherever possible!  Stay  in touch.  Will be thinking of you.  Michelle xx

  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932
    edited March 2015
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    As Michelle just said,you will find all the support here that you will need,when it comes to advice and help throughout your treatment.I was scared witless in the beginning,but I got through it,and so will you.I was one of the ladies that found chemo not that bad,so don't assume it is going to be terrible.Just take it ONE DAY AT A TIME,This is so important,as usually what you imagine is going to happen,DOESNT!! Try not to worry too much about other peoples reactions.I think that pity is natural,and take all offers of help that are offered to you,especially as you have young children.There are many ladies on here with children,and I am sure that some will come on here and offer there advice to you.If a reconstruction is important to you,make sure that your doctor understands this.It is your body,and you have to be happy with what you decide.As Michelle said,keep a diary or journal,because there will be so many things to remember!Stay on here,and ask any questions that you have.On this blog , no question is a silly question.Sending you a big hug.xoxRobyn
  • Liztay82
    Liztay82 Member Posts: 213
    edited March 2015
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    I'm 31 and have 3 boys 10 6 and nearly 2 I've started my chemo and I was scared but so far so good I've had no issues besides 2 ulcers I haven't been sick I'm on my 3rd cycle of ac then into my hormone treatment for 12 weeks then radiation I found taking a friend to my chemo was good I attended the look good feel better workshop lived it
  • Deanne
    Deanne Member Posts: 2,163
    edited March 2015
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    I'm so sorry that you are facing all this and just wanted to let you know that this network is a place you can come to when you are needing advice, understanding and support.

    Chemo is daunting but is often not as bad as we think. I had FEC x 3 and Docetaxel x 3 starting around this time last year. The chemo nurses are very aware of how scarey it all is and take special care that first time. I found a lot of my nerves settled with their calm approach.

    I too was fit and active before diagnosis. I was told that exercise could help minimize side effects so I kept this in mind and walked most days. It did help me to feel better and recover from each chemo session. You will probably find that you feel surprisingly good at times and be able to enjoy quality time with your family. But there will be times when you don't have much energy and this is when you need to let others help.

    There is a terrific group on here that is great to join for info and support about reconstruction. If you click on find a group you should find it 'Breast reconstruction' online group. You can request membership and then have access to a wonderful amount of info and photo stories of people's reconstruction experiences. You can do lots of research about what might be best for you once you get through treatment.

    I hope that we can help you through your treatment and recovery. Just take it day by day and like all of us, you will get there and be able to enjoy a long healthy life with your family. Take care. Deanne xxx
  • Shellshells
    Shellshells Member Posts: 1
    edited March 2015
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    I was worried about how I would cope with the side effects from chemo as well with young children. I am studying and working as well and dont want to give up my position. I had my first chemo 9 days ago and for the first 5 days I felt dreadful and had trouble functioning and relied heavily on my husband to do everything, but then i turned a corner on day 6 and started to feel better. I went back to work and have been able to function pretty well since. My kids were a lot more understanding than I expected as well. Hopefully you are one of the lucky ones and have minimal side effects, If not though, they do disappear x

    I feel the same regarding peoples pity. I was upfront with my family and told them that I am happy for their love and support but do not want their pity or sadness. It is also important to know that they are also dealing with the news and sometimes I find myself reassuring upset friends, which is ok too. x

     

  • jenpen
    jenpen Member Posts: 315
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Jane.....just wanted to reply as I totally understand how you are feeling especially having a young family to deal with as well.

    I finished chemo mid January and luckily found it quite OK apart from a few hiccups along the way. I have two children & felt the best thing was to involve them & be honest & open about what was happening....they have come through the other end really well.

    When I started losing my hair (day 14 after first chemo & I must admit was dreadful for me!) I let them play hairdressers taking turns with the clippers. This made them feel less anxious about seeing me with no hair plus involving them & trying to make a positive experience for them rather than a frightening one.

    I too had a right breast mastectomy (in Oct '13) and had cording. I've been having regular physio and it has only recently disappeared at last......due to a seroma issue I had I wasn't able to exercise the arm as much as I should've but I think if you are able, make sure to do lots of stretching etc.

    Like you, the pity eyes etc at the school gate and doing grocery shopping took a lot of getting used to....especially wearing head scarves.....but really, you do adapt and each day gets easier! 

    Sending you cyber hugs & best wishes to you Jane.....Jenny x

  • janes28
    janes28 Member Posts: 3
    edited March 2015
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    Hi everyone,

    Wow! What a response, I am so glad I posted. I thought about if for a while and wasn't going to but it has made me feel so much better xxx THANK YOU for all your great advice and support, pretty amazing for you all to take time out to make me feel better.

    I will definitely keep posting and reading all of your inspiring stories.

    Xxx Jane
  • Mia1965
    Mia1965 Member Posts: 83
    edited March 2015
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    I am so sorry Jane that you feel so terrified by your cancer journey!

    I had a terrible time with chemo but a lovely lady I have as a contact here on the network, Liz, had no nausea at all! What a lucky duck huh? lol! Liz is still going through chemo at the moment and has already spoken to you on this page.

    She said that the doctor had told her that if she did not have morning sickness with her pregnancies then she would most likely be ok. I wish I could say the same of course but it wasn't to be. So hopefully you will be fine. If not, just keep a diary of everything and tell the doctors how you are feeling constantly. The nausea drugs do help if taken correctly remember. Don't be like me and think you don't need them. I ended up in hospital sick as a dog!  Believe me after this I took them like clock work! lol!  Make sure you drink lots of water and eat lots of food too after your chemo sessions. The chemo stays in your body for 7-10 days so the quicker out the better you feel. My hubby looked after me well with soups and stews that also helped with the mouth ulcers I had. New drugs are coming out all the time for this reaction to chemo so take them when needed hun. There are also booster anti nausea drugs that can help when the main ones they give you just before your chemo, wear off after 5 days. It can be a balancing act with them but just stay confident in yourself hun. Use a calendar like I did to cross off the days. Setting yourself small goals like this can really give you a boost to know that it will soon be over. I had my cancer in 2011 and finished 6 rounds of chemo and 29 sessions of radiotherapy in 2012, so you can get through this Jane. Having a mastectomy is so brave of you. They offered me one but I turned them down flatly! Luckily for me I had a clear margin on the lumpectomy and the three lymph nodes that were removed. But I feel for you and I know you will get through this. We 'Pink Ladies' can do anything hun!!!

    Keep the faith,  stay strong and good luck with your cancer journey ok? Sending you a big hug hun. Take care XXXMiaXXX

  • Chorsell
    Chorsell Member Posts: 465
    edited March 2015
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    I wish you all the best with your treatment - and can only say as a relatively new member here that this is a great place to connect - having had relatives and friends with BC I thought I knew the answers - however nothing prepares you for the emotional and psychological impacts of this diagnosis - this site will give you the connection with other pink ladies who have been on or are going through the same journey as you. I have found that a huge comfort.

    The biggest thing I have learnt with this disease is one size does not fit all and your wishes and needs are an important consideration in terms of your treatment and well being.

    So keep asking questions until you get the answers - even if that means another opinion ...

    Keep coming here to share or vent or ask it is a great place and many wonderful women to answer.

    Love and hugs

    Chris xx
  • Chorsell
    Chorsell Member Posts: 465
    edited March 2015
    Options
    I wish you all the best with your treatment - and can only say as a relatively new member here that this is a great place to connect - having had relatives and friends with BC I thought I knew the answers - however nothing prepares you for the emotional and psychological impacts of this diagnosis - this site will give you the connection with other pink ladies who have been on or are going through the same journey as you. I have found that a huge comfort.

    The biggest thing I have learnt with this disease is one size does not fit all and your wishes and needs are an important consideration in terms of your treatment and well being.

    So keep asking questions until you get the answers - even if that means another opinion ...

    Keep coming here to share or vent or ask it is a great place and many wonderful women to answer.

    Love and hugs

    Chris xx