Living Life with Advanced Breast Cancer

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I first met my tenant "Breast Cancer" back in November 2004. Not a very nice tenant I'm afraid, so she was evicted!

In November 2012 breast cancer returned and as an unwelcome tenant have now become squatters and I attempt to evict them each and every day.

I now write about my tenants in their apartment block and update it on a regular basis.  Humour is a great medicine   If you're interested, here is the link to the introduction of the - "Not so" Fairytale of the Apartment Block and its Rowdy Tenants.

I live my life to the full and some days that means just making a cuppa and sitting on the back deck with my 2 dogs and talking to the goldfish in the pond. Others are full of things that if they are not written down I forget that I should be fitting them into my day (I claim concrete brain at these inopportune times). Oh and I never forget a face, but boy, I can be terrible with names!!!!

I am very fortunate at the moment as I travel around on my roller coaster ride. Right now I am sitting in a world that says my cancer is stable.  It is a strange word.  "Resistant to change of position or condition; not easily moved or disturbed". I really like this definition as I found in the free online dictionary. 

I am hoping that my little friends are paying attention.  I certainly will take full advantage of every single day I have the word "stable" attached to my diagnosis.

But it is a sure thing that if my cancer ever works out how to get around the current barriers in place that the word progression will be used and apart from the fact that my treatment will probably change to match and try to catch the progression I will still continue to take full advantage of each and every single day.

The roller coaster this brings between hoping to be stable and hoping not to see progression is a never ending circular event in my life.  Most days I can just do what it is that I do and not think too much about it.  I have had to alter how I do many things as my mobility is certainly not what it used to be before being diagnosed with ABC but I just laugh and keep on moving (that is why my mascot is my turtle).

Before entering the world of Advanced Cancer and all it brings with it, I really did not have much of an idea of what Advanced Cancer really meant.  It is more likely that you will hear about someone who has died of cancer rather than someone who is living with it. So as you can imagine, my thoughts were not particularly positive in this area..  I thought that getting advanced cancer meant that in a very short period of time and after being extremely ill you were no longer here.  It is a sad fact that in some cases this is the way it plays out but more and more people are living longer and with hope for treatments that hold and control for longer whilst work is still being done to find the elusive cure.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that even with Advanced Breast Cancer your life is not over, it is just different and once you embrace that idea then it is as wonderful as you wish to make it. Even through the treatments and tests and visits to the medical team.  I choose feeling well over feeling ill but sometimes there is no choice and I still strive to find at least one good thing each and every day.

I am alive and I want to live. I am experiencing life each and every day
I will never give up - Acceptance is not giving up

I always hold hope in my heart

• Hope that a cure will be found and sooner rather than later.
• Hope that improved treatments will continue to arrive that make a real difference
• Hope that with all of the treatments they become kinder and with less ongoing side effects
• Hope that my wonderful friends that sit beside me on the roller coaster are surrounded by this hope too

This journey is not one that I have chosen but I am here and I strive to make the best of it each and every day!

 

Bearteggie

Thank you for sharing your story and journey with us.  Your approach to your situation is nothing short of amazing.  I love your attitude and your desire to live each day to the fullest that you can and that you hold onto the hope you have outlined above.  You are a very inspiring lady and I will remember your words as I move on with my journey.

Big hugs to you.

Love

Joy xx

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Robyn W

You have inspired me more than you could know :)Hope is a powerful thing,and I hope with all my being that improved treatments arrive for you.Your outlook is so positive,and I would like to ask you how do you maintain your positivity?My situation is much more positive than yours,and I still have down days.We need posts like yours on this blog.I hope you continue to post , and you ARE unbelievable.xxxRobyn

Robyn W

You have inspired me more than you could know :)Hope is a powerful thing,and I hope with all my being that improved treatments arrive for you.Your outlook is so positive,and I would like to ask you how do you maintain your positivity?My situation is much more positive than yours,and I still have down days.We need posts like yours on this blog.I hope you continue to post , and you ARE unbelievable.xxxRobyn

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I certainly am not immune to "those" days. But  try to accept them for what they are  as they are a natural part of the process. Each down day can be the springboard to better days to come. Just allow them to visit but work on positive affirmations like "it is ok to feel this way but tomorrow I will wake up and feel much better about everything".  I repeat it over and over and most times it works.  I also practice meditation and do tai chi each and every day.  It took me a while to find the things to find my "happy place".

I have done some reading and also asked questions and it seems that our mind (given half a chance) easily slips into the negative mode.  It is a natural thing.  So I just keep reminding it of all the good things it would be missing if it sits in the dark and does not look around

I have chosen to try to find the good thing from my day and not dwell on the not so good. (some days, easier said than done).  The what if syndrome is a very dangerous thing and can overwhelm us if we let it.   

Not sure about unbelievable but I am indeed a turtle that may be slow, but will never ever stop xxxx

TonyaM

I loved your post-you have such a fantastic attitude.Love the turtle image with a pink cape - sort of a super hero but slow.You've shown us how to live with advanced breast cancer.My diagnosis dates are similar to yours-2003 and again in 2010 but each time it was early bc so I've been lucky so far.There is always that worry at checkup time but your post inspires me and I'll visualize the little turtle.Many thanks,big hug,love Tonya xx

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