What helps you when you are down or stressed

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Mich x
Mich x Member Posts: 1,530 ✭
edited June 2014 in Health and wellbeing

Hey Ladies,

Just thought I would put it out there.........you know me.  There seems to be quite a few posts lately stating how people are depressed, sad, lonely, upset, stressed and all the other feelings and emotions we have to deal with in our lives either from just general life or because of the dreaded breast cancer.

I thought I would start by saying I have been going through an ongoing tough time now for a couple of years, with one thing or another and it was while I was doing my six weeks of hyperbaric chamber every day that I had time to think. I decided I needed to do something to try and turn my life around. 

I have started what some people call a "visualisation board" but mine isn't so much 'what I want from life' - mine is more of 'what should I be grateful, happy, feeling lucky and all those things that we need to feel to get through every day  To feel good and happy.

I have photos of all my loved ones starting with my husband, my BCNA beastie, my daughter and precious grandaughter and other special people in my life.  I have things that make me smile, I have words of encouragement of which one is very special as it is a pink sister picture with "Michele Be Strong" which I definitely needed every single day I did the hyperbaric. I have to thank Donna from Dubbo for this one. 

Some of the quotes are things like:

  • "Every day in every way I am getting better and better" "
  • "I have decided to be happy because it is good for my health"
  • "Be someone you want to be around"

I really find this helps me get through my days every day.  I also have one very special verse that Janey235 wrote for me that I cherish and I make sure I read it every day.

I have started Yoga once a week and I try to Meditate most days but the hardest part with that is not falling asleep.....hahahahaha

I hope this helps and hopefully I have opened the path for other Ladies to come forward with what they do to help themselves get through their bad, sad and stressful days.  In return we can maybe help some of our other pink sisters that are doing it tough.

Lots of love today, tomorrow and always,

Mich
xoxoxoxooxoxoxox 

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Comments

  • TheresaW
    TheresaW Member Posts: 34
    edited March 2015
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    Thanks Mich, as I'm very new to this & still trying to even get my head around that i have BC it's so nice to read posts like yours. So positive thanku xx

    Theresa
  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    I get up in the morning before anyone else in the house.I do this 7 days a week.I love the peace and quiet of the early morning.I have a cup of tea and my brekky, then I always check the blog posts.I wonder will there come a day,when I don't do this,but for now I love to feel connected to people in similar situations,and I also like to think I can help others.After brekky,I walk 3 kilometres round a fitness trail near our house.In the afternoon I ride my bike,and in the early evening,I walk 2kilometres with my daughter or husband.Exercise makes me feel great,and clears my head and lifts my spirits.I have many sayings stuck on walls round the house,which have been there for ages for the kids that we foster .Now I find that they are helping me!I think that it takes time(and we are all different)and we shouldn't expect too much of ourselves.Recovery will happen in its own time.Love and positive thoughts to everyone.Love Robyn.xoxo
  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    I get up in the morning before anyone else in the house.I do this 7 days a week.I love the peace and quiet of the early morning.I have a cup of tea and my brekky, then I always check the blog posts.I wonder will there come a day,when I don't do this,but for now I love to feel connected to people in similar situations,and I also like to think I can help others.After brekky,I walk 3 kilometres round a fitness trail near our house.In the afternoon I ride my bike,and in the early evening,I walk 2kilometres with my daughter or husband.Exercise makes me feel great,and clears my head and lifts my spirits.I have many sayings stuck on walls round the house,which have been there for ages for the kids that we foster .Now I find that they are helping me!I think that it takes time(and we are all different)and we shouldn't expect too much of ourselves.Recovery will happen in its own time.Love and positive thoughts to everyone.Love Robyn.xoxo
  • Susan Linda
    Susan Linda Member Posts: 95
    edited March 2015
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    I was advised to do this when I was first diagnosed 12 years ago and it helped then as it does now.

    Buy or find a small box. Each day at about the same time write down your negative feelings and fears on strips of paper. Read them, fold them up , put them in the box and put it away.

    I had about 30 mins a day when I allowed myself to feel down but by writing the feelings down it seemed to compartmentalise them. After a while I found myself writing positive things and the negatives diminished.

    Perhaps it is the teacher in me but writing really helped then and helps now. Writing and exercise rule!
  • Susan Linda
    Susan Linda Member Posts: 95
    edited March 2015
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    I was advised to do this when I was first diagnosed 12 years ago and it helped then as it does now.

    Buy or find a small box. Each day at about the same time write down your negative feelings and fears on strips of paper. Read them, fold them up , put them in the box and put it away.

    I had about 30 mins a day when I allowed myself to feel down but by writing the feelings down it seemed to compartmentalise them. After a while I found myself writing positive things and the negatives diminished.

    Perhaps it is the teacher in me but writing really helped then and helps now. Writing and exercise rule!
  • mgndam1603
    mgndam1603 Member Posts: 753 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    I started every day with a fresh juice, I love it and even if I couldn't eat I could manage that and it always made me feel good.

    I am a tea drinker and I also collect vintage china, I started using that vintage china and would have my tea in a different delicate cup everyday, I so loved that and am still doing it.

    I got referred to a great psychologist and for a while there I went weekly and talked and cried and spoke of the things I couldn't talk to my family about, honestly that was the best thing I did for myself.

    I had long hot baths with the candles on, I read loads of book and I talked to my family daily.

    I am very lucky as I am a fairly upbeat person but there was some very dark days last year and these things pulled me through.

    At the end of last year I held a fundraiser for BCNA and that was so much fun and I loved the planning, that gave me something other than myself to concentrate on.

    I do hope these things are helpful to others.

    Donna

     

  • Mich x
    Mich x Member Posts: 1,530 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Give this a try and anything else the other girls offer up to get you through if you need it.

    Sorry that you are here hun but hopefully you already know that we are all here for you.

    Lots of love always, Mich xoxoxo

     

  • Bearteggie
    Bearteggie Member Posts: 326
    edited March 2015
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    What an excellent blog you have started.  I have enjoyed learning what others are doing to help alleviate their stress and anxiety.

    As you know I am still very new to this and am yet to start chemo (Friday is D-Day).  However, as soon as I was diagnosed with BC I started a diary (Word Doc) where I could express all my thoughts and feelings, where I could vent.  I also saved all my messages and photos from FB and emails sent from friends and family. 

    I also have a Gratitude Journal I keep on my bedside table and before I go to sleep I write five things I am grateful for and five things I want to do the following day that are unrelated to BC.

    I also love the "Put the Glass Down" Quote:

    Once, a professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see and asked the students, 'How much do you think this glass weighs?' '1 pound!' ....'2 pounds!' .....'3 pounds!' ......the students answered.

    'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor, 'but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?' 'Nothing' the students said.

    'OK what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked. 'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.
    'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?' 'Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis; have to go to hospital for sure' ventured another student. All the students laughed.

    'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?' Asked the professor. 'No,' replied the students.' 'Then what caused the arm ache; the muscle stress?

    Instead, what should I do?' The students were puzzled. 'Put the glass down' said one of the students. 'Exactly!' said the professor. 'Life's problems are something like this. Hold them for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK. Think of them for a long time; they begin to ache. Hold them even longer; they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.'

    This struck a chord with me.  I decided that I would use a photo I had taken of a glass of water and caption it "Put the Glass Down" and made it my PC's wallpaper.  I see this first thing in the day when I turn on my computer and the last thing at night when I turn it off.  It serves as a great reminder of how delibitating anxiety can become and to stop my negative thoughts.

    I also walk most mornings for 45 mins and practice mindfullness and relaxation.   I do find if I don't do these things the following day is not so good for me.

    Thank you Mich for starting this blog.  I have found it inspiring and nice to be reminded that we can all find some peace and contentment during this journey. 

    Love

    Joy xx

  • Lana
    Lana Member Posts: 91 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Thanks ladies for all of your ideas. I have had a bugger of a week emotionally and have found all of your comments inspiring. After seeing the psychologist yesterday i am going to start using some relaxation and meditation techniques. A warm bath sounds good as well (something I haven't done for months) . I really need to learn how to clear my mind. I also like the idea of a vison type board and focus on more positive aspects of my life.

    Thanks again!

  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Great blog to start Mich! I love everyone's ideas and what struck me was we are all finding pleasure in the simple things in life.After all the awful cancer treatments we go through,we are so grateful to be alive,feel somewhat normal and enjoy food again.It is so important to destress your life after cancer,along with having a healthy lifestyle.I only allow myself to be upset for 24hrs and then I  mentally shelve that problem because most of the time that problem sorts itself out. I have a special book that I write down inspirational quotes in-kinda like Mich's visualization board(which I think I'll start one). I go to art therapy each week which I love. And I relax and meditate in my outdoor spa a few times a week.As a wife,mother,worker,I don't think I made enough time for myself in the past but I am now. I also love being connected with the amazing women on this network.You have all blogged such great,yet simple,ideas to nurture ourselves.So thank you and I'll take onboard those positive ideas -oh except the one where you get up really early in the morning!!  Love you girls!!!!  Tonya xx

  • adean
    adean Member Posts: 1,036 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    I collect coloured glass , when I was sad I would hit the op shops and fossick, it made me feel good, talking to myself in the ensuite to the mirror was also something that worked for me, I know it sounds crazy but it worked. I also found the network my saviour, though like Donna I'm a very up person and was always able to pull myself up. My hubby and my kids gave me fight. My group of ladies has also kept me sane and my blogging friends. Regards adean
  • Janey235
    Janey235 Member Posts: 1,206 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Joy that is just priceless. I love the 'put the glass down' photo desktop idea. I think I'll do that when I go back to work next month. It will be a great distressing tool.

    Thank you so much for sharing it.

    Love Janey xxx
  • Mich x
    Mich x Member Posts: 1,530 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    I hope you do take up some of these ideas Christine.  It is a huge rollercoaster we find ourselves on and every lil thing we do for ourselves helps. 

    I so remember my baths while I was going through chemo with my epsom salts and whatever I could find to help soothe the pain. I would soak in there as long as I could every single night. 

     I look back now and remember and smile how difficult it was for me to get back out of the bath where I had to try and  turn over on to my hands and knees and found sometimes I didn't have the strength to lift myself out.  I can look back with a smile on my face now but at the time there was no smiles only tears.

    Please take up some of the suggestions and do whatever you need to do to help you get through.

    Lots of love always, Mich xoxoxoxoxo

  • Mich x
    Mich x Member Posts: 1,530 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Our furry children bring us so much joy and happiness every day.

    My precious girl Bundy was by my side every step of the way of the BC travels and she still is.  She used to lay by my side when I was ill and occasionially just give me a gentle nudge to say are you okay.  I would say I was fine and she would lay back down and go to sleep. 

    These days she sleeps on her bed in our room and during the night she will wake up and walk from dads side and then to mums side just to make sure we are both there and if she is happy with that then she just heads back to bed and back to sleep.

    I call her my Velcro dog and she brings me pleasure every single day.  I can't think of the word I want to say to explain cause chemo brain isn't letting me but you girls with furry children or feathered ones etc. all will know what I am talking about.

    Luv my girl and luv u girls, Mich xoxoxoxo

  • Tracy62
    Tracy62 Member Posts: 48 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi and thank you Mich for starting this thread.

    Thank you to everyone for your imputs as well - some very interesting items - some I already or have done and others that I am going to try.

    It is great to find such a positive group of people - I also was getting a bit over the downers (i know it is hard for some, and it can be harder one day than it was the day before) but we all need the positives in our lives to outweigh the negatives. I believe that's where true happiness lies.

    I've been through a lot over the past few years, not just BC (that has been my easiest thing to date!), and have got good at looking for the silver lining - no matter how dark things seem there is always a silver lining - it may sometimes be hard to find but if you look hard enough, you can always find it.

    Must ask Mich about the hyperbaric chamber treatment - it has previously been suggested to me, in relation to other health issues, I was assessed but it was decided not to proceed at the time. Just wondering what you are having it for, how you are finding it, how successful, any other positive or negative side effects other than what they were trying to achieve? It is still n the cards as part of a future treatment for me - if and when the specialists all agree the time is right.

    Thank you again for showing me that I wasn't strange looking for the good in BC and all else - the world loves positive people - and so do I!!!!

    Tracy xxx

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