Newbie
Hi 
I joined today because I have only just been diagnosed with breast cancer and feeling very anxious....also because it is my birthday today! That fact just made me cry for most of today.
I am fast realising how incredibly overwhelming the information is to take in, and the 'well meaning' support of friends and family is not helping. I have been asked in the past 2 days alone - do I want to be buried or cremated...how will I feel when I loose all my hair from chemo, have I got a will etc etc. Needless to say...it has not helped. My mother got on her mobile in the hospital and was sobbing and ringing everyone she knew and telling them that I had cancer and it was really bad.....I was sitting right there 
So I am looking for postitive support and ideas on where that would be exactly, or just generally to chat to others in the same position.
Comments
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Hey Newbie, firstly happy birthday!!! It is probably not going to be the best birthday you have ever had, but it's still nice to hear someone say it. I have just reached my one year anniversary of being diagnosed with breast cancer. I had six months chemo and six weeks radiotherapy and am starting to feel back to normal again. I remember when I was first diagnosed and felt exactly the same way you are feeling today. It is very lonely and other people, although they have good intentions, just sometimes say and do the wrong things!!!
You will get through this journey, with the help of us ladies on this site, and with the help and support of your friends and family. You need to let the diagnosis sink in first and just feel any way you like. Cry if you want to, scream, throw things, whatever you want. It is a hard road ahead but so many of us have and still are on the same journey and you can get through it!!
I wish you all the best in your treatment and recovery and jump on here any time you are feeling down and we will do our best to bring you back up again xxx
Best wishes
Jo xxx
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Hey Newbie, firstly happy birthday!!! It is probably not going to be the best birthday you have ever had, but it's still nice to hear someone say it. I have just reached my one year anniversary of being diagnosed with breast cancer. I had six months chemo and six weeks radiotherapy and am starting to feel back to normal again. I remember when I was first diagnosed and felt exactly the same way you are feeling today. It is very lonely and other people, although they have good intentions, just sometimes say and do the wrong things!!!
You will get through this journey, with the help of us ladies on this site, and with the help and support of your friends and family. You need to let the diagnosis sink in first and just feel any way you like. Cry if you want to, scream, throw things, whatever you want. It is a hard road ahead but so many of us have and still are on the same journey and you can get through it!!
I wish you all the best in your treatment and recovery and jump on here any time you are feeling down and we will do our best to bring you back up again xxx
Best wishes
Jo xxx
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Angiebelle,
I know how you're feeling. I was diagnosed last week as well. What a shock and so much information to absorb!
I'm trying to remember that I'm not alone and that the medical people all really know what they're doing.
All the best,
Jo
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Oh Angiebelle, Happy birthday for 2 days ago. Some people are just drop kicks!, We can LIVE with breast cancer. Bad things might happen but if they are not happening today lets stop and ''smell the roses' and give our selves permission to have a good howl and then 5 minutes later find something to laugh about.
I'm still in the treatment option stage but a friend said how will your husband feel if you have a mastectomy? When I asked him he said wwwhat? so you think this will affect me more than you ??? It made me laugh. I'm really lucky to have him.
I hope you have at least one sane sensitive person in your life.
Big hugs , you are not alone.
Jen
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Thankyou so much for all or your lovely comments. I am amazed at how I can have a quick little sob one minute and then back to laughing the next. I am hoping to have more of option b and less of option a generally!! I do feel a sense of relief that everyone I wanted to know....now knows. The repitition alone of constantly saying the same speech is exhausting....and also how strange it is to feel empathetic to how others react to the news! What a strange journey this already is. Also attemptoing to turn down the volume on the mountain of advice from emails to books that I have been sent. Especially the stuff about diet....because frankly today I have been fighting the urge to fully marinate in alcohol haha! I have loads of support but constantly worry because I live alone and have 2 young daughters to raise. When I pick a challenge I seem to do things to the extreme! Anyway, thankyou again and hopefully I will get to talk and meet some of you on here....because I am also a social little chick
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Hi Louise!
I live in Darch (just off Hepburn Rd). I am 39.....just a spring chicken haha!
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Hi Jo.
Doesn't it just suck!!!! But you are welcome to email me on angie842@**** whenever you feel like it. Family and friends are invaluable but I am realising I need to talk to people that are going through the same thing....and because we have been diagnosed at the same sort of time...we can definitely understand eachother! xx
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Hi Angibelle. Not a great way to celebrate a birthday but next year WILL be a better one! I was diagnosed last November and have been through chemo and radiotherapy. I am still having three weekly infusions of Herceptin and taking Tamoxifin. I'm not going to lie kiddo, it's going to be tough for the next little while, but you WILL get through and be stronger for it. When I was first told I had BC I cried at the drop of a hat for weeks - me who has never been a cryer, but I sure made up for my previous lack of tears. I thought I was going to fill Sydney Harbour! Three days after my first chemo I think I actually howled when a friend made me go for a walk because I was so constipated from chemo I thought I was going to die ( I didn't). Everyone we passed stared at me probably thinking i was deranged! But you know what ? You're allowed to cry or scream or swear so go ahead.
I know how you feel with your mum's reaction, my mum's was the same. She just couldn't deal with it then or during treatment. It doesn't help does it? However this is about you so you have to tell her. I know it affects her and all the people you love. However, right now it's YOU who needs positive support so if others are not on board with that avoid them. Positive people really assist in your recovery. I'm sure you will be surprised and as touched as I was by the kindness and care of others. Sometimes people I didn't expect were the greatest support! This site is a wonderful support also and there is always someone to talk to who understands.
While I wish hadn't off been a BC statistic for 2012, I think it's changed me into a stronger person, even though I STILL have days when I have crying jags. Now I give myself permission and accept that it's ok.
Good luck and if there's anything I can do don't hesitate to get in contact. Everyone's treatment is different but I'd be happy to listen!
Daisy0 -
Hi Angibelle. Not a great way to celebrate a birthday but next year WILL be a better one! I was diagnosed last November and have been through chemo and radiotherapy. I am still having three weekly infusions of Herceptin and taking Tamoxifin. I'm not going to lie kiddo, it's going to be tough for the next little while, but you WILL get through and be stronger for it. When I was first told I had BC I cried at the drop of a hat for weeks - me who has never been a cryer, but I sure made up for my previous lack of tears. I thought I was going to fill Sydney Harbour! Three days after my first chemo I think I actually howled when a friend made me go for a walk because I was so constipated from chemo I thought I was going to die ( I didn't). Everyone we passed stared at me probably thinking i was deranged! But you know what ? You're allowed to cry or scream or swear so go ahead.
I know how you feel with your mum's reaction, my mum's was the same. She just couldn't deal with it then or during treatment. It doesn't help does it? However this is about you so you have to tell her. I know it affects her and all the people you love. However, right now it's YOU who needs positive support so if others are not on board with that avoid them. Positive people really assist in your recovery. I'm sure you will be surprised and as touched as I was by the kindness and care of others. Sometimes people I didn't expect were the greatest support! This site is a wonderful support also and there is always someone to talk to who understands.
While I wish hadn't off been a BC statistic for 2012, I think it's changed me into a stronger person, even though I STILL have days when I have crying jags. Now I give myself permission and accept that it's ok.
Good luck and if there's anything I can do don't hesitate to get in contact. Everyone's treatment is different but I'd be happy to listen!
Daisy0 -
Hi again,
I'm in Hillarys, so not far away at all! If you feel like a coffee and a chat sometime, send me a message and we can see if we can tee up a meeting
Louise x
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Hi, a little hello from me too, diagnosed with BC in Nov and now in the midst of treatments. Good that you're sharing your story here on BCNA, I personally find this site a tremendous source of help.
Although it's a rough journey we gotta make it's important not to lose hope! I too had one of my best friends freaking out when I told her, who started to rant how awful it is and how we all gonna die of cancer. I was dumbfounded by her reaction but then replied that I was actually gonna kick this cancer in the ass and intended to live a helluva loong time. She did not know what to say.. I can understand people get scared or stupid when they hear the word cancer but what I /we really need to hear is that the medical teams and survival rates in Australia are top class in the world, BC is treatable, we're in good hands and we're gonna sail through this, trust me girl!
Sending you lots of positive thoughts! Annie
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hey everyone, I have never chatted online and have never had breast cancer before. I had a mastectomy nov 21st the day after my birthday. I',m 46 with a 4year old son starting school next year. I'm a teacher and busied myself right until 3 days before finishing reports to take my mind off everything. Then I had three days of feeling so totally unprepared for what was about to happen. I haven't had a reconstruction, I'm pretty flat chested and my breasts have never really formed part of my identity. I thought the same about the loss of my hair which will happen when I start chemo in January. But I worry about the reaction of parents in front of my son (yes he's going to the school I teach at) and other children saying negative things to him. Already I've noticed changes in his behaviour since the op. He's become defiant and worry what the chemo will bring behaviour wise as well.
Guess I'm having a bad day today, a few tears.
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Hi Newbie
I can understand your worries about your son and the other parents/kids reactions. When I was starting chemo, my boys were very concerned about me losing my hair (particularly the older one). I got some clippers and got them to shave my head, just after my first round of chemo. They thought that was great fun (although I put on a brave face and then went upstairs and burst into tears!!). After that, I wore a wig whenever I was around anyone other than my immediate family. Yes, they are sometimes itchy and uncomfortable, but they look really natural and lots of people didn't know that it wasn't my own hair! It made my kids feel a lot better about the whole process as their friends didn't really realise what was going on. My discomfort was a small price to pay for their happiness and it wasn't even that uncomfortable.
Just an idea...
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All i can say to you is.... that everything i thought would happen or all the bad things i imagined i was to go through.... didnt happen at all! But i made sure i was prepared for every single one of them. You find a way just at the right time to cope with every step of the way!!
The worst part was the waiting after being diagnosed to hear what stage, grade it was.. then the unknown of how i would cope with the treatment.. also having to tell people you love that you have it! (the pain and shock in their eyes hurt me the most)
After that i took one day at a time... amazing how prepared you are for the next thing to come along... i still am.. last chemo to go next week! And sure life has been turned on its head but i am coming out of this not only a stronger, more confident woman but a survivor!!
I could never have gotten through without the support of these women on this network.. Keep posting lovey your not alone here!!
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All i can say to you is.... that everything i thought would happen or all the bad things i imagined i was to go through.... didnt happen at all! But i made sure i was prepared for every single one of them. You find a way just at the right time to cope with every step of the way!!
The worst part was the waiting after being diagnosed to hear what stage, grade it was.. then the unknown of how i would cope with the treatment.. also having to tell people you love that you have it! (the pain and shock in their eyes hurt me the most)
After that i took one day at a time... amazing how prepared you are for the next thing to come along... i still am.. last chemo to go next week! And sure life has been turned on its head but i am coming out of this not only a stronger, more confident woman but a survivor!!
I could never have gotten through without the support of these women on this network.. Keep posting lovey your not alone here!!
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