Anxious Newly Diagnosed

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Joleystub
Joleystub Member Posts: 5
Hi everyone.  From what I have read it appears this is THE place for me.  
I was diagnosed on the 2nd May after having a routine Mammogram in April.  I was called back due to something showing up on the Mammogram and subsequently had another Mammogram and Ultrasound and then a biopsy.
Diagnosis is that I have invasive breast carcinoma with micropapillary features, provisional grade 3 which is ER and PR positive.
Fast forward 11 days and I have seen my surgeon who will operate on the 28th May to remove the lump and sentinel node, at this stage.
I guess I just wanted to touch base with those of you who are going through this scary time right now.  I know I am not alone, however feel alone, even though my hubby is very understanding.  Am I getting in my head too much?????  Probably YES!  
Anyway, I have never waited on a date to arrive so quickly as surgery day!  :#  I am trying to stay busy and remain positive as the surgeon tells me that this has been caught early, however it doesn't take away the fact that I feel like I am facing a challenge to my mortality.  Is this normal?
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  • June1952
    June1952 Member Posts: 1,876
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    Welcome @Joleystub to this club none of us ever wanted to join.  Yes, you have come to the right place as we have all been where you are so know exactly how you are feeling.  I am long past that scary time but some newbies will be on shortly to chat with you. 
    Please try to take things one step at a time as if you try to look too far ahead you may be worrying about things which may not be part of your treatment and/or happen.  Much of the data in Google is also out of date so stick with this BCNA site, or similar organizations, for any research. 
    Ask away here, no question is too small or too silly.  Make lists of questions and concerns and take that with you to appointments.  Keep in touch.  Thinking of you.  💖
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,733
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    Sorry to see you join us here, @Joleystub - and yes, you ARE in the right place!  ;)   If you keep posting any questions you have on this thread .... it will become a bit of a 'diary' of your story during your active treatment.

    It is always a shock to the system to get a cancer diagnosis & a real roller coaster ride, emotionally too xx Yes, we all think we are bullet proof, but this diagnosis mucks even more with our mind, I reckon, than our body!  Yep, Try not to get 'ahead of yourself' - take each day as it comes ... 

    Keep yourself busy up til your surgery  - cook & freeze some meals so that you have plenty 'ready to go' after you get home .... just keep doing what you love to do - to stop your mind going off on a tangent!!

    Ask away on any question here & we'll do our best to answer them honestly - as we've 'been there, done that'. 

    Jump onto this thread for some general info on the forum - lots of 'off topic' areas - art & craft, gardens, even a couple of 'funny' sections (god knows we need a laugh!) and some 'wise words' to settle you down when you get anxious.    There are even some 'tick sheets' at the bottom, to self assess your physical & mental state ... print them off, fill them in & take them with you, as sometimes it is easier to give them lists instead of talking about it xx. Consider recording all your sessions too, so you can go over them later on too. xx
    https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-our-new-members#latest

    Talking about anxious - if you need someone to physically 'talk to' .... feel free to ring our Helpline on 1800 500 258 (Mon-Fri) xx

    take care & all the best xx
  • CeeCee
    CeeCee Member Posts: 30
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    @Joleystub Welcome to this fabulous group tho sorry that you’re here.
    I have a similar story to yours but a few months ahead of you. I required a mastectomy due to having DCIS 5 years ago then a tumour showing in the same spot now. I am starting Chemo next week, one of my lymph nodes showed cancer cells. Hopefully yours won’t and Chemo may not be necessary.
    It’s very normal for the anxiety levels to rise dramatically when your mortality is in question. The feeling of being alone is real no matter how much support you have, it’s your body it’s happening to and only you can deal with it. I found that as much as I researched and spoke to people who know, I am still amazed at how big this journey is. Just the tests required is bigger than I thought. The waiting is hard. I had a Pet scan this week and sitting in the waiting room waiting to hear whether I was going to be given a chance to live or whether this bugger was going to get me in the end was very hard, the fear is real. Luckily my Oncologist told me everything was ok before he even sat down, I felt like I was the luckiest person in the world, it was literally life changing.
    Good luck with your surgery and everything. We are all with you and in this together 🌹🙏
  • Joleystub
    Joleystub Member Posts: 5
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    Thank you for sharing your story too.  Your PET scan must have been so scary, I can only imagine.  Thank goodness for such a caring resource we have at our fingertips  :)
  • Katie46
    Katie46 Member Posts: 125
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    Hi @Joleystub, I am nearing the end of my chemo, I had IDC stage 2 grade 3 with one sentinel node involved. Because of the hight grade I was strongly advise to do chemo. For me the worst part was the start, it can be overwhelming at times. If you have access to a McGrath Nurse you should definitely contact them, they have been so helpful through my journey. Once all the tests were done and we had a plan I felt a lot better. Try and take someone with you to your appointments if you can. Chemo has been manageable, and they are much better at treating the various side effects. You'll see from other posts on here that the side effects vary from person to person. Best wishes for your journey. 
  • WhiteLight
    WhiteLight Member Posts: 15
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    Hi Joleystub very good advice to try not to get ahead of yourself. Easier said than done I know.  Just trust you are in good hands with doctors and nurses who have done it all before. Wishing you all the best with your journey ahead. Hugs xx
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,390
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    @Joleystub

    Feeling a challenge to your mortality is extremely normal. Particularly if you have never experienced such a challenge before. An early diagnosis is always good and you have every reason to feel positive. Nevertheless dealing with one day at a time, one thing at a time, is excellent advice right now. It's easy to overthink. Or to spend time worrying about something that may never happen. Keep your valuable energy for the here and now.

    However I spent quite a bit of time, a year or more after diagnosis, and when I felt well and confident, exploring my feelings about mortality, with some courses and reading, and found it very useful. We aren't taught much about that, it's not a popular chat subject! But it affects every one of us. Just something to consider later.

    Best wishes.
  • AlliD
    AlliD Member Posts: 3
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    Hi @Joleystub, my situation is similar to yours. I was diagnosed in early March this year after a routine mammogram. Mine was invasive ductal carcinoma, grade 2, and hormone receptor-positive - and caught early. I had the PET/CT scans etc. My surgery nearly 3 weeks ago - they removed the cancer and lymph nodes under my arm. The next step for me is seeing the oncologist to discuss radiation therapy and hormone therapy. 

    It is usual to feel a little overwhelmed and alone at times - even when you have all the support and love of family and friends. Waiting on the various scans and test results and not knowing if it has spread, or not, is the hardest part. In those moments I keep thinking about what I am grateful for and finding the positives in my life. My mantra at the moment is day by day (one step at a time) courage, love, hope, and strength. 

    I think this is why the BCNA is so important - there is great support and information, and people you can connect with. If you have access to a McGrath Foundation Breast Nurse they are the best. The nurse I had talked through all the process and steps, provided advice to ensure I was ready for surgery and what would happen post-surgery, and also checked on my mental well-being - they also made me feel like I did have some control. You can find out if you have one in your area at 
    https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/ .

    Good luck with your journey and remember you are not alone. Keep reaching out. xx
  • cranky_granny
    cranky_granny Member Posts: 775
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    @Joleystub as everyone has already said. One day at a time one step at a time. 
    Use all the resources on here. The podcasts are great and informative. 
    I wont add anymore as all the above covers everything I would have said. 
    keep us posted on how your going  and no question is too dumb or too trivial. 
  • Melvista
    Melvista Member Posts: 2
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    Hi @Joleystub
    reading your message was just like reading my story. I went for my first ever mammogram back in March. I received a call back as they found some dense tissue. Another mammogram, an ultrasound and a biopsy followed. I honestly never thought I would be a statistic, but here we are. I am going in for my surgery tomorrow. Feeling a little nervous but as others have said.. the best we can do is take it one day at a time. We are definitely in the right place. It is comforting to hear the good news stories and know there is so much help and support available. Hang in there and. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Stay strong we’ve got this!!!
  • Joleystub
    Joleystub Member Posts: 5
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    @Melvista the very best for tomorrow.  Please keep me updated on your progress. Sending you all my healing wishes  <3
  • TaraJ
    TaraJ Member Posts: 46
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    All the best for tommorrow,    we have all been there and are here for moral support 

  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,733
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    All the best for tomorrow @Melvista .... feel free to jump onto the 'Newly Diagnosed' Category & tell us a bit more of your story - then you can add to it & it sort of becomes a 'diary' of your active treatment .... 

    take care


     
  • MillyMollyMulberry
    MillyMollyMulberry Member Posts: 5
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    I can so identify with you @Joleystub. I was diagnosed on the 4th April, partial mastectomy (lumpectomy) on 1st May and subsequent follow up May was referred for chemo to prevent recurrence which will be followed by radiotherapy and hormone blocking therapy. We really don't have any choice but to take it step by step. It seems like we are always waiting for the next step - after mammogram we wait for the result, after call back we wait for the next result, after results we wait for the referred appointments, after that we wait for the surgery date, after that we wait for the pathology result etc etc. Seems to become a series of "do this and wait" moments which can be really hard and the whole time we all get in our heads about it. I definitely have contemplated my mortality even though I have been told I am curable (indeed on the face of it my cancer has been removed) but we still cannot avoid the feeling that we have/had a disease that might be fatal. That said the odds are mostly in our favour in this day and age and all we can do is keep going day by day because there really isn't a choice. This post is for me as much as it is for you! I wish you all the best with the best outcomes! Everyone here is with you and ready to answer questions and tell you about their own experiences remembering that we each have a different experience. Posting helps to not feel alone in this.
  • janieboyd
    janieboyd Member Posts: 3 New Member
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    @Joleystub……I have just joined this wonderful group as well….. BCNA is a godsend & my Breast Care Nurse has been so helpful!!!….We can be surgery buddies!! My surgery is May 28 as well. Diagnosed late March, Invasive Lobular cancer, stage 1/grade 1. I am taking 1 step at a time in this journey……I am overwhelmed by how much help & guidance is out there…. It is truely amazing….We are most certainly not alone!!…. Take Care & reach out !!!