Motivation tips please

Blossom1961

So here I am. Tired of having treatment. Eighteen months worth in 2018/19 and then mets diagnosis in 2022. Eight months in to a lifetime of treatment and I have already lost my motivation for going. It is only once every three weeks I keep telling myself, then a PET scan once every three months. I can do this. Easy. Side effects are doable. So WHY am I struggling to continue? Anyone else feel this way and what do you do to motivate yourself? I am not depressed but treatment does leave me fatigued. 

Afraser

Dear @Blossom1961

It’s really not surprising. This isn’t the way you hoped things would pan out. Treatment for life - it’s two things isn’t it? Treatment you will have always but also treatment to ensure you have a life to live. Intellectually that’s all understandable, emotionally not so easy.

I don’t have mets, I just have three side effects that I will almost certainly have for life. Dealing with them is eminently doable. But at the beginning, I felt quite confused about who I was. Not depressed, just a bit adrift. Time with a good counsellor (you need one who really understands where you are coming from!) helped a lot. I had expected and hoped to recover from cancer, lose a boob and get back to ‘normal’. I didn’t expect my normal to change and I didn’t anticipate factoring in management of three side effects. I was grateful for recovering and utterly unsure of what my unanticipated ‘bits’ meant. It took a few good conversations with an intelligent and wise outsider to work out what was affecting what, and what I could do about it. 

My problem doesn’t compare to yours but my solution may still be worth a shot. Sometimes pulling yourself up by the bootstraps is much easier with someone lending you some muscle! Best wishes. 

jennyss

Dear @Blossom1961.

Best wishes from jennyss in Western NSW

LDP

I wish I knew what to say @Blossom1961. What gives your a sense of purpose right now? What is it that you enjoy doing? Do them. We need to be able to dance in the rain, not wait for the rain to pass. Seek out the help of a psychologist, to help you with this; don't do it alone. 

Julez1958

Hi @Blossom1961
I thought I’d post to this as I recently saw a psychologist and she talked about having an “ activities diary” and putting things in it that give you joy.
I said I already had that !
I am semi retired but on average only work one or two days a week doing work I enjoy , I also have a few retired friends and generally have a lunch out at least once a week , yesterday I went to the movies and I also do stuff  with my  husband who is retired . ( including short trips away).I also try an do a walk every day and have been going for a swim to the beach near me quite often over this summer.
I used to work with a woman who believed keeping busy was the answer to all ills , not entirely correct but correct to a certain extent. Helps to stop “ dwelling”.
Take care.🌺

arpie

Thinking of you @Blossom1961. xxx. I hope you can chat with a counsellor/psych (or our helpline here) to help with coping strategies -and hopefully get past this 'speed hump' xx. Take care.

Where abouts are you now?  Whack your 'general location' on your profile - we may have members nearby who can meet up with you for a coffee & a chat, or ideas of local activities? xx

take care xx

June1952

Oh @Blossom1961, this is not good news.  You have had so much on your plate with hubby and the relocation.  You are far from your friends and this does not help.  Have you been able to find a support group near you ?  As @arpie says, perhaps put your general area in your profile so maybe another member is close enough to meet up with you for a cuppa.  Are you well enough after treatment to meet up with a friend and make it a special day ?
The permanent treatment is hard and it may be easier for you if you think of something else which could be worse - for me that would be being diabetic and having to test and inject throughout every day.  
Is it possible to meet hubby for a special lunch once at week, a break in his day and yours ?  Even a picnic in a park with all your favourite treats might give you a lift.  Thinking of you.  💖

iserbrown

Oh dear!  I have a sister in a similar position.   Peter Mac Melbourne allocated a Counsellor.  She has a long way to go as at the moment she's trying to come to acceptance that her body has let her down.  This is her third diagnosis 
Advice is find a Counsellor who can help your thought process and happy things to do to counteract treatment 
Take care
Sending a virtual hug 

Blossom1961

Thank you everyone. I haven't been on here for a week as I was visiting relatives and had a major car breakdown interstate. Back home now. I see my new Onco (who I really like) on Thursday so will have a chat to her. I love my psych but I am doing everything she suggests. I spoke to my family members and the horror in their faces showed me I just need to persevere. At least I like all of my new team which is a huge plus.