Today's Thoughts

My surgeon took both my hands in his as he gave me my (positive) biopsy results. It seemed then and still does an act of empathy. It’s up to you to determine what seems appropriate and what seems overly familiar - and, if the latter, tell him. But in an environment where sometimes people feel their medicos are a bit too clinical or lacking in understanding how much people are affected by their condition and/or treatment, I’d see it as a good intention rather than an imposition. Until you decide you don’t want it. 

Your surgeon sounds very caring!  Reassurance 

I agree - He sounds very caring.  I think he would have been aware of your concerns & was doing his best to put you at ease xx

Thankyou Ladies for your words of wisdom. I also had the anaesthetic check in on me tonight, to see hiw I was. All these gestures of kindness helps a lot. I feel good, not much pain, just waiting for my meds & hopefully tomorrow, a shower. Thanks again 

I’ve had ten surgeries in the last three years, and have never seen an anaesthetist AFTER the event.  Sounds like you’re in caring hands.

I was expecting my surgeon to come in during prep and hold my hand and reassure me. He didn’t even show up. I was desperately asking the nurses to find him. Finally the anaesthetist showed up and told me my surgeon was getting coffee and breakfast and I wouldn’t see him til after the surgery. I wanted to run away. As I was being wheeled into theatre by this anaesthetist I’d never met before, he called my surgeon so I could face time with him. I was in a vulnerable position, looking backwards on my prep bed in my hospital robe while being wheeled into theatre, trying to get reassurance from my surgeon from a phone screen. I’m still traumatised to this day and hate surgery even more than before.
 The next surgery I had after that was with my new and current surgeon. She met me while I was still in the waiting room and was with me the whole time before and after. She holds my hands or touches me in a reassuring way every time I see her, even for appointments. I can’t explain the difference. I feel so safe with her just by these gestures that seem so simple yet mean the world to me because she makes me feel so cared for. I love this about her. 

FLClover said:

I was expecting my surgeon to come in during prep and hold my hand and reassure me. He didn’t even show up. I was desperately asking the nurses to find him. Finally the anaesthetist showed up and told me my surgeon was getting coffee and breakfast and I wouldn’t see him til after the surgery. I wanted to run away. As I was being wheeled into theatre by this anaesthetist I’d never met before, he called my surgeon so I could face time with him. I was in a vulnerable position, looking backwards on my prep bed in my hospital robe while being wheeled into theatre, trying to get reassurance from my surgeon from a phone screen. I’m still traumatised to this day and hate surgery even more than before.
 The next surgery I had after that was with my new and current surgeon. She met me while I was still in the waiting room and was with me the whole time before and after. She holds my hands or touches me in a reassuring way every time I see her, even for appointments. I can’t explain the difference. I feel so safe with her just by these gestures that seem so simple yet mean the world to me because she makes me feel so cared for. I love this about her. 

I’d say you have also have a very caring team who seem to understand how their patients feel and offer the reassurance they need. 

I’m glad your surgery went well and I’m hoping you get good results 🍀♥️. 

Thank you, I didn't know about surgeons boundaries, but I gotta remember it was a comforting gesture & also the anaesthetic guy. Today will shower & see my partner. Thank you for your words.

@Cora you’re welcome 🙂. You will feel so much better after a shower 😁. 

 :) 

Hi @Cora
I have had 3 big surgeries in my life - hysterectomy , mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction.
The hysterectomy was 15 years ago and both my surgeon and anaesthetist were not particularly empathetic although they were technically proficient.
The surgeons and anaesthetists for my breast surgeries were much more empathetic and I did get a visit in hospital from the aneasthatists after each of m breast surgeries.
I think it might be that more emphasis is on being empathetic in todays medical training, it could have been the luck of the draw , or it could be that surgeons doing breast cancer surgery realise what an emotional wreck it tends to make us.
Anyway , I hope you are healing well , the emotional scars take time to heal as well as the physical ones.
take care🌺