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Triple Negative Breast Cancer Stage 4

Hi everyone, I just joined as I got diagnosed officially yesterday with triple negative breast cancer with Mets in chest wall, liver and a few on lungs. I had back pain, which is apparently not really related as no Mets in my bones showed up on the PET. So it’s a shock. I am 36yrs old and have a beautiful 2 year old daughter I am not ready to leave behind, but i think this is a worst cancer prognosis you can receive right?! It’s not looking good and I fear my first oncologist appointment as so far each result and appointment made my diagnosis worse. I would appreciate if I get help and maybe experience from those who have the same. My heart is broken and I need to find my fighter spirit to have a small chance to make it to Christmas I guess. Thank you 


  • AfraserAfraser MelbourneMember Posts: 3,983
    Dear @SteffiOZ22

    Welcome, you don’t want to be here and it’s a hell of a shock but you are very welcome nevertheless. I am sure someone with TNBC experience will be able to assist you more than I can, but in the meantime remember that treatment is improving all the time and your prognosis may be much better than you fear. You will find that you are much stronger than you think. Best wishes for your next appointment. 
  • ChevvyChevvy Member Posts: 37
    Hey there. Crikey that's quite a lot for you to get your head around, and my heart goes out to you for your diagnosis. Buggar finding that fighting spirit 24hrs after hearing that... first you need to grieve your diagnosis, process it, get angry, get upset, get strong, be reduced to tears, fall in a heap, get back up again, all of that after such a shock.... once your done doing that... then you go get that fighting spirit and say a big fuck you to cancer.  You've got a battle ahead to stay as healthy as you can, but how good are us mums at multitasking,  and cancer will just be another "job" you have to do. You know, get kids up/get them ready, drop to daycare, go to oncologist for treatment,  pick kids up from daycare... more than 10 years ago I was diagnosed with melanoma cancer and advised I had 6 months. Since then breast cancer and 3 more melanoma. I told my drs then that I had 2 kids to look after and I wasn't going anywhere, its not about dying from cancer..its all about LIVING WITH CANCER.  Be kind to yourself, all you have to do is get thru one day at a time. I hope strength finds you. Sending lots of huge hugs your way. 💐🌻😊 x
  • SteffiOZ22SteffiOZ22 Member Posts: 6
    @Chevvy wow you are one power woman how to you manage this all? You are a warrior and I hope I can be like you. I am scared of chemo and all of it around. I think it’s too much to take in and the walk to the oncologist this Friday I am still not sure how I will handle it I don’t think I can mentally I will break down. 
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 6,249
    Sorry to see you here @SteffiOZ22 - but you are in the right spot for support from others who have gone before you!

    Make sure you have a trusted buddy with you on Friday, so that they are an extra set of ears - write down any questions that you have!  Ask about Genome Testing & Immunotherapy ..... ask if you can go onto any trial to do with Trodelvy .... if you don't ask, you don't get! xx

    Where abouts are you? (State/town) .... you can add it to your Profile - and people who live nearby may be able to recommend services in your area .... 

    WOW!  What a powerful piece by @Chevvy!!  You GO GIRLS!!  Both of you!

    There was a Webinar on Triple Negative just last week - @iharris should be able to get you set up to 'watch it' (I think you just have to register for it, to be able to see the Video, even tho it has already been 'held' ....). Hopefully you can watch it before Friday & have some questions 'clued up' already for you Onc xx

    Time to pull on your Big Girl Pants .... but you are still allowed to scream, shout, cry .... whatever emotion you feel - is OK!!

    Take care & all the best.  xx

  • AfraserAfraser MelbourneMember Posts: 3,983

    If you can (it’s hard) don’t get worried or frightened by things before they happen. Plenty of time to do so when they happen, and they might not. Chemo is a bogeyman, but not everyone has a terrible time. I lived quite normally, worked full time, no
    nausea, no fatigue. It’s almost impossible to know beforehand but many people find a pattern of good and bad days and work around the bad ones. Have you family/friends who can support you and lend a hand? If so, let them. Just someone to talk to about your fears may help
    release them a bit. Take care. 
  • ChevvyChevvy Member Posts: 37
    Not a power woman chikky.. just a stubborn bitch who refuses to see cancer as anything more than one more job to do in my daily schedule of life, lol... don't get me wrong tho, I have my dark days about it, and that's OK, and that will be ok for you too. You have to accept and go with the flow of your emotions, not beat yourself up about being strong all the time. Don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. Everyone finds their own coping strategy, I found once I'd done that first dreaded oncologist appt, knew exactly what we were dealing with, got a game plan, it was easier then to just get up and get on with it. The unknown is actually the hardest. If you can take someone along with you the extra set of ears will really help, if not,  take a pen and a paper so you can write things down cause they'll throw a lot of info at you that you'll struggle to take in all at once. You'll have bad days, who cares, that will just mean your human... but you'll also have good days, you'll have days where you'll be humbled by the support offered from those around you, and you'll have days where you'll want to scream and shout at the world... or maybe the last one is just me 🤪.. I think i would scare the world atm.. just had radium to face today for cancer thats spread all thru it.. let me tell you, I look like the arse end of a donkey thats been dragged backwards thru a cheese grater.. but I still said fuck you today to the cancer, and I'm betting once you get into your journey you will too. Cause you will find a strength from somewhere deep within, I can't explain it, but we all just do, you will too. 🤗🌻
  • Cath62Cath62 Brisbane Member Posts: 896
    Bloody hell @SteffiOZ22, I just finished writing a comment about fatigue in your other post and now read this. This is much to deal with and while so so hard try to just stay in the present moment. One day at a time. You have so much to process and a whole treatment plan to get through. One step at a time. Naturally you are worried, you are young and have a family so it is definitely all scary stuff. But wait till you see your dr and talk it through. Get help from a breast care nurse or psychologist if you need that. Muster your support networks with family or friends because treatment can be hard for some. I was ok with chemo. Yep some days are hard but you will get through it. Like @Chevvy I also have had malignant melanoma. I have just had my 4th removed.  My breast cancer was aggressive. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2020. I refused to be defined by cancer. It is not who I am but something I am dealing with. I hope you're appointment goes well tomorrow. Sending you a really big virtual hug 💐. Good luck tomorrow and feel free to ask other questions or vent too if you need too. 
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