New to the club, Lucky me ......

 Hiya everyone,
So this all starts maybe back in early October i was in the shower washing as we do ...having a little self check ... and hrmmm i "thought" i felt a change but i wasn't sure i didnt want to panic my husband so i didn't say anything there and then, me being me had to jump on google ( my best friend lmao) Oh some times women can have hormonal changes to their breast a little TMI i had just had a little spotting ( i have a marina implanted) so me thinking YES that must be it! grasping onto anything that wasn't the obvious, I have two maternal aunts and a sister that all have breast cancer in one form or another. So i left it alone and got busy and didn't really think about it anymore after that day ... just got on with the day to day... I'm this time i was back at the pool i had given it up for two years due to covid19 .. but now i was Boosted and so wanting to get back to my aqua walking ... i love it i just walk for hours i was down almost 16kgs life was good! and still IS! . Then for a short time on the 30th of December around 9.15pm my world came crashing down, I was in the shower yet again after spending hours at the pool i wanted to have a nice hot long shower in out shower not the pool ones and wash my hair and get to smelling all lovely well as lovely as i get lol .... and then i noticed the lump again this time there was no mistaking it was a lump is was bigger than last time you couldn't help but know it was a lump, So i went to my husband asked him to feel it, his answer was " i don't know babe i'm not a doctor" MEN! So i came out and got my phone to book an appointment with my GP i couldn't get in for 3 DAYS! and there was no way i could wait on new years to find out what was going on ummm GUESS again there is no finding anything out over new years about boobies i came to discover like it or not, not here in Canberra anyway. So new years eve i spent going to two different hospitals and waiting many hours in covid infected waiting rooms (as you guy's will come to hear i'm slightly OCD about Covid) 
Only to be told We are very sorry but you need to WAIT and get referred by your GP for a mammogram and ultra sound in i was disbelief I had this LUMP this massive thing in my chest and NO ONE would HELP! and i must admit it came to mind thinking if a man would be treated the same should he feel a lump in his testicles.
ok so in the 3 days waiting to get in my GP i managed to get in fast to another doctor that i had never met before but i got a referral just in cause i couldn't get one out of my GP for some reason this GO didn't even ask to see it feel it or if it hurt where it was located or anything so i wrote him off but at lest had the referral if need be.
So then it was my GP's turn. This was going to go so much smoother with this doctor RIGHT? i knew him had seen him on many times before i was thinking this will be ok, i will be told its nothing and not to worry. WRONG again I was LAUGHED at, my GP laughed at me not once but twice when i said about looking on google and the hormonal changes i was so very mad i told him i didn't appreciate the fact my life could be hanging in the balance and he finds it funny very nice I'm not a person that tends to confront people but with that i couldn't hold myself back.
So i called about 4 different places and at last found a place that could fit me in for my mammogram and ultra sound 2 days later
one hitch because we are not on centerlink it was going to be $689.00 well what do you do .. you make it happen and we would get by even if we lived on baked-beans on toast for the two weeks till we got paid again what i didn't know at the time but now do know if had the gp put "please bulk bill" on the referral the scan place would have done so but no no ok we paid it, we had to my life was on the line. So i got the mammogram right away i could tell from the sweet little girls face it wasn't right and i just from that second accepted it as cancer i wasn't never officially told "Cancer" that day but i knew i said "So hows it look?" looking myself at the big BRIGHT glowing lump on the screen with spider veins coming off it. Her reply " I'm not the doctor but it's not looking great"
Yup I knew what that meant right there and then. 
So then off for the ultra sound and yet again i was told right away "it's not looking good" i had been written up with a fine needle aspiration as well for the same day as we knew there was some kind of a lump just not sure what it was.
So the stenographer went off to speak with the doctor one of the leading breast doctors in Canberra just happened to be in the building that day I was there, she was gone from the room for what seemed like i life time to go speak with him about my results,
she came back what must have been 15 to 20 minutes later and said "right the doctor said we cant do a fine needle aspiration on this lump we need to do a deep core biopsy as a fine needle aspiration would be a waist of time and they would have to go back and do a deep core anyway, but then in the next breath says the doctor has just injured himself so is unable to do it today but I've booked you the next available appointment to have it done in two days time ...Oh and by the way that will be $680 to have the deep core done. Panic struck no money in reserve they are telling me i need this done in two days, I'm not magic i can't pull funds from the air oh how i wish i could. 
So there and then i knew what i had to do i could not go and get the biopsy so i had to swallow my pride and ask my oldest son for a loan of the money. Not great to tell your children (almost 25 and 23 both boys) I think i have breast cancer and can i please borrow the money to find out by tests whats ahead, of cause no questions asked it was not even a worry not even a question. I have great Sons!

So off for the biopsy I went. The breast sister more or less confirmed there and then it was a cancer we were just there to find out what one and what the course of action would be. So the 1st two core samples were taken little bit of a pinch nothing to bad. But then the last click of the dang thing had me in tears it was NASTY took my breath right out of my body so very painful. But it was over so again we wait! i had to wait till the following Monday it was taken on the Thursday in all this process i must say the waiting standing still treading water is by far the worst part.

I walked in to my GP with my husband he had organised the day off work to be there to support me (I love him to bits 27 years of marriage but even still some days i don't like him so much lol) 
so we walk in and are seated and we are waiting and waiting and waiting for the GP to say something ANYTHING for about 10 minutes, and then he say's "i'm really sorry (and i butted in and said look i know its "Cancer" i just need to know what TYPE and maybe you can see now it wasn't such a LAUGHING matter HUH)
his face dropped like i had just kicked him right in his testicles he said i'm so so very sorry. My reply to that was it's to late to be sorry maybe you just never ever behave like that with another women ever again now what do we have to do to fix THIS! 
From that moment on that doctor changed he had no idea how to deal with this situation I'm thinking i'm his 1st patient ever to get a breast cancer diagnosis and i hope i'm his last. I have invasive ductile carcinoma Her2 positive, Estrogen Positive, Ki67 index of 120 total cells counted 39 cells positive.  
So after some phone calls and such he was waiting for the breast surgeon to get back to him then he phoned me not 15 minutes after we got home to tell me he had referred me to the surgeon so yet again we wait for a call, they got back to me pretty quickly i think it was the next morning and said they would have a appointment for me on the 25th of January i was like crap that far away but ok if that's the soonest you have it will have to do, Booked the appointment and was thinking ok that's it till the 25th little did i know that not 15 minutes later she would call back " Can you be here 10 am in the morning we just had a calculation its yours if you want it" DONE I'LL TAKE IT!
So off i went i got there 20 minutes early and it seemed like it took for ever the 1st thing the doctor said was where is your thought process in all this and i was "I don't care take them both off double mastectomy i don't care" I'm 50 years old my breasts have always been rather large and just get in the way to be honest lol ... But he was more on the side of with the type of cancer it is and the fact its so very receptive to hormone therapy and targeted treatment they would like to do breast conservation surgery after Chemo and hormone treatment. the lump is thought to be i keep getting different sizes depending on what test they are reading at the time it's around the 2 cm mark give or take so the thought is to reduce it down then take it out i should also add in at this stage nothing has been found in my lymph nodes then at a later stage go in and reduce the size of my other breast to give me a more even bust size. The surgeon would referring me to the oncology team and i would hear from them pretty quickly that i would need to have some more tests done ... to date i have had done a mammogram , ultra sound , Full body CT scan, Fully Body Bone Scan, Full Body PET scan next Thursday I go for a full body MRI and a Clip to be placed in the cancer i'm dreading it so i hear or have read most of the time they are placed at the time of biopsy but mine wasn't and after how painful the biopsy was oh my gosh i'm dreading it so much. So all that to say that bring me here part of this club i wish i wasn't apart of but i am and here i sit waiting for the next step i need to take I still haven't heard from oncology as yet but they might be waiting for all my results to come in 1st
so if I've not heard anything by the time my MRI results have been out i'll start to chance it up, Given the fact i have such a strong family history of breast cancer and my mother had ovarian cancer also it's going to be sent off for genetic testing and we will go from there might have to go back in and take the breast again I'm ok with anything that will keep me alive ... 
I'm so very sorry this has been a very long winded post but hang in there it only gets better Right :)
Keep smiling tomorrow is another day and NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Kel. 


  • noosa_blue150
    noosa_blue150 Buderim QLD Member Posts: 194
    Hi kel. No apology required for long winded posts here, as we’ve all had those feelings and on this site we can understand how you’re feeling. It’s a process now but hang in there and take each day at a time . Keep a notebook handy and write down your questions , and ask away .this site has a lot of links to great information as well . 
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 5,246
    Strong advice- keep away from Dr Google!

    You have found your way here and there's a lot of shared experiences.  No question is silly.

    Here's some links from the BCNA website to help you

    Take care
  • arpie
    arpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 6,482
    Oh my gosh, you've had a hard time of it, getting to this point ..... I can't believe the hassle you had, just to get the Mammogram & Ultrasound!  :(  Had you ever had a Mammogram before?  The Breastscreen Adverts say 50 -74 - but it is actually available free of charge from age 40 up (and no upper limit!). That is very disappointing that your GP didn't add 'bulk bill' to your referral ....  The biopsy is often worse than the surgery!

    So you've had your surgery?  Or was that just your first 'review' with the surgeon?

    I'm so glad you've found us - you can vent here as much as you like, cos we 'get it'.  That is fantastic that your hubby is so supportive and your kids ..... make sure you have someone with you at appointments & even record them on your phone as 'backup' as it is easy to 'miss bits' .... 

    Yep - stay away from Dr Google (tho we've all done it!) 

    Jump onto this thread to check out some other areas on the forum as well ..... 

    Write down any questions that you may have & give them a copy, so they can tick them off, as they address each one .....  take care & all the best for your ongoing appointments xx

    We have a few members in Canberra .... if you add ACT/Canberra to your 'profile', they may respond & advise you of support services available for you there xx

    I know that there is a Fly Fishing for recovery - for Breast Cancer patients .... to meet up with new people & try a new sport ..... 
  • FLClover
    FLClover Sydney Member Posts: 1,466
    edited January 2022
    It will get better darl. I’m very happy to hear you put your GP in his place. Too much of that horrible attitude around. 
    Continue to stand up for yourself every time something doesn’t feel right, and get a second opinion if you need to. 
    This thing is beatable, but it is tough too. Lots of support on this site whenever you need it. Hang in there ♥️
  • SilentAngelsTears
    SilentAngelsTears Member Posts: 8
    @arpie No no surgery as yet my surgon wants to do Chemo and hormone theorpy 1st well chemo and start the target theropy 1st ..So i;m waiting to hear from oncolegy about my 1st appoiment with them its a very long process when all you want to do is get that out of you and get back to living but its OK! i know i can over come this i'm not saying there wont be bad days, I'm sure there will be days i wont move out of bed for ... but i just need to deal with it and get on with living. Yes u had infact had two mamagrams pre finding my lump i had my 1st one in 2012 and my second one in 2019 i had put my 3rd one off a little due to Covid then BAM! i found this little bugga.
  • SilentAngelsTears
    SilentAngelsTears Member Posts: 8
    @FLClover, Thanks Lovely,
    at times i dont think doctors realise what they say or do isn't a nessary thing to do. Like him laughing did it make the situation better ?No ... Did it impact on my results ? No ...did it change the fact i'm facing one heck of a 2022 ahead nah .. it's ok i made a impression the next time i saw said GP he was SO much better so much more with it just his full deminer had changed so i'm guessing one GP went home and had a good think about my words spoken and knew how bloody out of line he was ... and i dont think he will ever react in that manner with anyone else again so if i played apart of no other Women or MAN going through that experiance so be it 

  • FLClover
    FLClover Sydney Member Posts: 1,466
    Exactly. He’ll be more sensitive to his patients in the future 👌🏻
  • SilentAngelsTears
    SilentAngelsTears Member Posts: 8
    @FLClover we can only hope so :):)
  • Julez1958
    Julez1958 SydneyMember Posts: 696
    hi there your pen name resonates , I had lots of tears!!
    You can beat this and already have two things in your favour - a husband to be there for you and this network.
    I have also found generally the breast cancer specialists ( surgeons, oncologists, breast cancer nurses, radiation therapists etc) know what they are doing and will look after you.
    Its very tough in the beginning, once you have a treatment plan you will feel a lot more settled.

  • SilentAngelsTears
    SilentAngelsTears Member Posts: 8
    @Julez1958 that's what I'm in need of to tell the truth just give me my battle plan and i'll go from there .. My pen name beilive it or not has nothing to do with my Invasive ductal carcinoma it's more to do with my 1st born son we lost at 5 months old to sids ... many years ago now but he will always be my Silent Angels Tears. See this is why i know i can over come Cancer i have over come the biggest hurt any mother can over come. It will be a fight! It will be hard! but one way or another there will always be a end in sight!
  • Cath62
    Cath62 Brisbane Member Posts: 989
    What a story you have @SilentAngelsTears. You are very resilient to have gone through what you have so far so you will get through this. You have the right attitude I think.

    All the ladies who commented above have given good advice. My only suggestions are have a look at chemo tips. There are various discussions on it. Also some walking helps get through all this as does some counselling if you need it along the way.

     My strongest advice however is put yourself first no matter what. This is your cancer story and to get through it you must put yourself above everyone else. 

    Best wishes to you. 💐
  • SilentAngelsTears
    SilentAngelsTears Member Posts: 8
    Thank you everyone for the kind welcome... As happy to be apart of this sight as one can be ....