Long time between drinks!

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ScorpionQueen
ScorpionQueen Member Posts: 768
Hi All!

It's been a while....Lots of changes....both mentally and physically....a long time between drinks, so to speak.

I have spent this morning going through my old posts here and all I can say is WOW! It's been 5 years since diagnosis and I am still dealing with the aftermath this bitch left me with.

This forum was a life saver for me and I have made life long friends from it.

 I have never forgotten you, just needed to take a break for my mental well being.
Although I did sneak in from time to time to check on you.

I hope to be able to still help you through your experience and share my "wisdom" I have gained through this experience. 

I have been active outside of this forum advocating for women's health, helping others through their cancer experiences where I can and telling anyone who'll stop long enough to listen to check your boobs!

Is it strange to say that I still feel out of place in the real world? Like I have nothing "normal" in common with anyone anymore...Has my experience changed me that much? The short answer is yes.

I look at the world in a different way now. I have little tolerance for the BS that some people carry on with. I have become somewhat of a recluse socially, Only seeing those who really matter as I cannot be bothered with the trivial ways of some circles, their conversations sometimes make me laugh internally...I only seem to have time for those nearest and dearest and those that are struggling.....I sometimes don't like this feeling, but it is what it is.

I sometimes wish I was the girl before cancer.....but I know this is not to be. The 5 years since diagnosis have shown me things that I don't ever want to see again and it's also shown me that life can be beautiful in different ways. I am a Grandmother now and my grandson's smile is the best thing ever!

My life is now calm and sometimes exhausting, but relatively easy, and  a little noisy at times as my daughter and grandson live with us!
I take each day as it comes...I don't rush for anyone or anything! I have learnt to rest my body and mind when needed and to take time for ME and not give a damn about who that may offend.

This experience has made me somewhat selfish I guess, but I think that's just what we need to be to get through some days. Hoping to get back on board and support where I can.
 Love and light,
Tracy
staystrong|breathe|believe - clear

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Comments

  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,565
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    Pleased to read you are well and wow 5 years already!

    Take care
    Stay safe
  • jennyss
    jennyss Member Posts: 1,973
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    Dear @ScorpionQueen

    Great to hear from you,
    Best wishes from jennyss in Western NSW
  • Cath62
    Cath62 Member Posts: 1,312
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    Congratulations @ScorpionQueen. Love your story. All rings true for me too. About to be a grandmother as well. Well done and thanks for sharing your story. It means alot.
  • SoldierCrab
    SoldierCrab Member Posts: 3,446
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    Love you girl  <3
  • adean
    adean Member Posts: 1,036
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    Gorgeous lady, like yourself l took a break from online but still continued to run my support group.
    Cancer bit me and changed me to
    Only as of last week l thought it was back after 9 years.as l lay on that MRI table l thought you f......  Don't you dare be on my ass l don't want you.lucky it was not but that terrible feeling overwhelmed me and bought all the memories back.but l found my space to and got up and said  you didn't get me pal
    Upwards and onwards
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,565
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    @adean
    Lovely to see you online
    Hope you're doing well and most importantly staying safe
    Take care