Long time between drinks!
ScorpionQueen
Member Posts: 768 ✭
in Day to day
Hi All!
It's been a while....Lots of changes....both mentally and physically....a long time between drinks, so to speak.
I have spent this morning going through my old posts here and all I can say is WOW! It's been 5 years since diagnosis and I am still dealing with the aftermath this bitch left me with.
This forum was a life saver for me and I have made life long friends from it.
I have never forgotten you, just needed to take a break for my mental well being.
Although I did sneak in from time to time to check on you.
I hope to be able to still help you through your experience and share my "wisdom" I have gained through this experience.
I have been active outside of this forum advocating for women's health, helping others through their cancer experiences where I can and telling anyone who'll stop long enough to listen to check your boobs!
Is it strange to say that I still feel out of place in the real world? Like I have nothing "normal" in common with anyone anymore...Has my experience changed me that much? The short answer is yes.
I look at the world in a different way now. I have little tolerance for the BS that some people carry on with. I have become somewhat of a recluse socially, Only seeing those who really matter as I cannot be bothered with the trivial ways of some circles, their conversations sometimes make me laugh internally...I only seem to have time for those nearest and dearest and those that are struggling.....I sometimes don't like this feeling, but it is what it is.
I sometimes wish I was the girl before cancer.....but I know this is not to be. The 5 years since diagnosis have shown me things that I don't ever want to see again and it's also shown me that life can be beautiful in different ways. I am a Grandmother now and my grandson's smile is the best thing ever!
My life is now calm and sometimes exhausting, but relatively easy, and a little noisy at times as my daughter and grandson live with us!
I take each day as it comes...I don't rush for anyone or anything! I have learnt to rest my body and mind when needed and to take time for ME and not give a damn about who that may offend.
This experience has made me somewhat selfish I guess, but I think that's just what we need to be to get through some days. Hoping to get back on board and support where I can.
Love and light,
Tracy
staystrong|breathe|believe - clear
It's been a while....Lots of changes....both mentally and physically....a long time between drinks, so to speak.
I have spent this morning going through my old posts here and all I can say is WOW! It's been 5 years since diagnosis and I am still dealing with the aftermath this bitch left me with.
This forum was a life saver for me and I have made life long friends from it.
I have never forgotten you, just needed to take a break for my mental well being.
Although I did sneak in from time to time to check on you.
I hope to be able to still help you through your experience and share my "wisdom" I have gained through this experience.
I have been active outside of this forum advocating for women's health, helping others through their cancer experiences where I can and telling anyone who'll stop long enough to listen to check your boobs!
Is it strange to say that I still feel out of place in the real world? Like I have nothing "normal" in common with anyone anymore...Has my experience changed me that much? The short answer is yes.
I look at the world in a different way now. I have little tolerance for the BS that some people carry on with. I have become somewhat of a recluse socially, Only seeing those who really matter as I cannot be bothered with the trivial ways of some circles, their conversations sometimes make me laugh internally...I only seem to have time for those nearest and dearest and those that are struggling.....I sometimes don't like this feeling, but it is what it is.
I sometimes wish I was the girl before cancer.....but I know this is not to be. The 5 years since diagnosis have shown me things that I don't ever want to see again and it's also shown me that life can be beautiful in different ways. I am a Grandmother now and my grandson's smile is the best thing ever!
My life is now calm and sometimes exhausting, but relatively easy, and a little noisy at times as my daughter and grandson live with us!
I take each day as it comes...I don't rush for anyone or anything! I have learnt to rest my body and mind when needed and to take time for ME and not give a damn about who that may offend.
This experience has made me somewhat selfish I guess, but I think that's just what we need to be to get through some days. Hoping to get back on board and support where I can.
Love and light,
Tracy
staystrong|breathe|believe - clear
About
14
Comments
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Pleased to read you are well and wow 5 years already!
Take care
Stay safe1 -
@ScorpionQueen I'm so pleased you are doing OK. And even more pleased that you managed to turn this shit show into something remotely positive by involving yourself in some advocacy.
I was lucky enough, following my first diagnosis, to blunder into the advocacy arena. The knowledge I gained through that experience changed my life. I learned about research and legislation and funding and the art of public health messaging. How to make a valid and well directed complaint when the system let me down.
I moved from being a passive voice to being an expert in my field--the one person in a herd of medical professionals who truly spoke for the patient. The one who really knew how it felt to be thrown into the BC mincer. Given a choice, I'd be blissfully ignorant of the whole process. But I'm not. And that can matter if you find the right space.
It can be difficult to find that right space, but it is so worth it. I gained a sense of perspective that would never have been possible if I had kept my experience to myself, or just bored the hell out of those close to me. Mxx7 -
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Congratulations @ScorpionQueen. Love your story. All rings true for me too. About to be a grandmother as well. Well done and thanks for sharing your story. It means alot.3
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Love you girl
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Gorgeous lady, like yourself l took a break from online but still continued to run my support group.
Cancer bit me and changed me to
Only as of last week l thought it was back after 9 years.as l lay on that MRI table l thought you f...... Don't you dare be on my ass l don't want you.lucky it was not but that terrible feeling overwhelmed me and bought all the memories back.but l found my space to and got up and said you didn't get me pal
Upwards and onwards3
