Introducing Me

Melburnian
Melburnian Member Posts: 2 ✭
in Newly diagnosed
Hello.

I was diagnosed on 25 March. I'd seen a lump on my right breast in the bathroom mirror and went to my GP. 

I've had a lumpectomy and sentinel nodes removed. They didn't expect to find anything in the nodes and that I'd just be doing radiation and then hormone blockers. But there was some cancer, so they now want me to do chemo too. However, the team don't feel they have enough information to decide how long for, so I'm having more nodes removed tomorrow. That'll be the third surgery for me since diagnosis as I had some internal bleeding after the first one and they had to go back in that night to sort it out.

I did IVF for 5 years to have my daughter, who is now 10. I'm 50. I became a min-expert about IVF in those years, but I'm still reeling with all this new terminology and trying to learn what the hell is happening without freaking myself out even further. The five year survival stat does my head in because I'm struggling to cope with the idea that there's only an 85% chance that I'll be around for my little girl by the time she turns 15. 

I'm trying to stay positive and am keen to learn what I can be doing to improve my treatment outcomes, so looking forward to sharing in the wisdom that I hope to gain from this place.

Thanks,

R.

Comments

  • MicheleR
    MicheleR Member Posts: 352 ✭
    Hi there @Melburnian,

    Sorry to hear about your diagnosis and need for additional treatment. Im 49 and have 2 teenagers and to be honest thinking about my kids was the worst thing emotionally.

    I found it better not to worry about statistics and get on with the business of getting well. Chemo isnt the most fun you'll ever have but its doable. It sounds like all the right things are happening and we have very good healthcare in Australia so you will be in good hands. Once they know more you will feel more reasured that the treatment plan is in place. 

    Lean on us all here when you need.  

    Michele
  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836 ✭
    Hi @Melburnian,
    Sorry to hear about your surgery woes.Sounds like the goal posts have been moved a few times on you. That’s heightens the anxiety for sure. You are at the scary stage when you don’t know what to expect and you are still processing the cancer diagnosis.Your body has let you down and you don’t have control.It will improve when there’s a plan in place and you can deal with each treatment bit by bit.To think of the whole lot is overwhelming.Find something that quietens/relaxes you when your mind is racing eg. meditation,mindfullness
    walking,art etc.
    Statistics can do your head in but let them work in your favour and believe you are in the majority who live to old age. I’ve been through this crap journey twice- 2003 and then again in 2010(same breast) I’m fine and no more cancer. There are lots of us still kicking around(18yrs later for me)
    and enjoying life.Be prepared to cry at the most unexpected times and to have the occasional meltdown- all normal.Come back here to vent or ask questions. Big hug xx
  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,374 ✭
    Hi @Melburnian no fun, hey, all this uncertainty. It can wreck your confidence a bit. The old ' overabundance of caution' thing in the early days of diagnosis can lead to situations like yours. The general approach is to take the least invasive actions first but, unfortunately, things can escalate uncomfortably quickly after that.

    Its a good time to stop looking at the stats. They are really just that; a series of numbers that may, or may not, reflect your personal situation. Even the stats themselves have been derived over many years and do not represent the current advances in treatment. Until you know more about your own version of horrible, it's really best to leave them alone. Easier said than done, I know. Like Tonya, I'm a two time winner of the booby prize and am still around 16 years after my first diagnosis. 

    If you've learned to speak IVF, you'll learn to speak BC as well so don't worry about that too much either.

    Focus on the end game, survival. Ask questions when you need to (pretty much constantly) and be prepared to occasionally  get different answers from different professionals (I'll bet you are familiar with  that scenario too) Choose your team carefully--you have more choice than most realise--and build relationships with those who resonate with you. Good luck. MXX
  • Halla
    Halla Member Posts: 185 ✭
    @Melburnian geez 3 surgeries in three weeks, that would get you down for sure! One surgery has been more than enough for me!!
    85% is very good odds though, the chances are very much on your side...could have been a lot worse if you had not paid attention and not gone to your GP. Good luck with it all, keep us posted! I’m at the same stage as you, between surgery and further treatment..
  • Melburnian
    Melburnian Member Posts: 2 ✭
    Thanks everyone. I really needed to find some camaraderie and so glad you all came in to share some. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,961 ✭
    And don't let the 5-year thing do your head in.  It's just a number based on a timeframe that's easy to collect info on.  You will come to understand more as you go ahead.  I did IVF too (my petri dish bunny was about 12 when I was diagnosed) and one thing it did do is get rid of any embarrassment around physical examinations.  Do stay away from Dr Google - a lot of rubbish and outdated information out there.  If you want to do some online research, stick to the authoritative sites.

    You will get through this no matter what treatments are thrown at you even if it seems right now that it's impossible.  One step at a time.  It can be overwhelming at times so don't hesitate to access counselling if you need it.
  • ChezaH
    ChezaH Member Posts: 549 ✭
    Hi @Melburnian I agree with Locksley, you have to not think too far ahead, and take it day by day, and to listen to your body, if you need to rest do it, it is ok to not finish all the housework as we used to do, do what you can when you can, and yes any research do it here as you are then getting the information from the ones that have gone through this journey.

    There is always help here. Cheryl
  • CRM
    CRM Member Posts: 93 ✭
    I really struggled when I was told I have a 1 in 3 chance of recurrence but my partner always says if we had a 70% chance of winning the lottery we would definitely buy a ticket.  We can't know what the future holds but the odds are on our side! 
  • ChezaH
    ChezaH Member Posts: 549 ✭

    CRM said:

    I really struggled when I was told I have a 1 in 3 chance of recurrence but my partner always says if we had a 70% chance of winning the lottery we would definitely buy a ticket.  We can't know what the future holds but the odds are on our side! 

    Yes that is true, one day at a time hugs Cheryl
  • ChezaH
    ChezaH Member Posts: 549 ✭

    Ausmum2 said:

    Hello @Melburnian

    I am also a recent recruit to this committee (referred to as the sh1tty t1tty comm1ttee by my mates). 
    With encouragement of the BCNA and breast care nurses, the surgeon and the oncologist, I gave the stats away. Their most profound words were “treatment has changed remarkably in the last 5 years, let alone 10 and so the numbers are just that, numbers- no longer necessarily relevant to you and your situation”. 

    So, rather than look at the percentages, I take one day at a time, live and love in it and do the treatments one step at a time. I look for the joy and beauty everyday and focus on gratitude, hope, resilience as my goals. 

    We’ve got this, we are warriors and we have an army of experts to support us and encourage us through. 
    Pick your team, build your cheersquad and let’s go kick cancers butt! 





    You are so right, one day at a time, worrying will only effect you and how to love to live each day. Cheryl

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