I am 66 yes old - 3 years post lumpectomy and radiation Each review I’ve had means painful mammograms ( due to dense breasts) and ultra sounds - finishing off with a mammogram biopsy - yes at every review ! I’ve just had my third year review with the inevitable biopsy - results came back today as negative So here I am - emotionally spent - if it was just the mammogram and u/s then I could deal with that but it’s the lonely humiliating experience of the mammogram biopsy and the wait for results - I can’t explain to anyone who has not experienced the impact of a cancer diagnosis - then treatment and the emotion that you go through during the reviews I want to focus on life not think every time there is pain - my mind starts thinking and while I can bring my mind into the now - this is taking it’s tolli want to have a mastectomy - I need to do something positive - take control of this monster and be boss of it - not it of me My daughter is also on this journey - I know what to expect - I don’t need or want reconstruction - I want peace My husband thinks I’m nuts going down this road - how else do I find this peace ?

Thank you Patricia and Sister - you have no idea how your honest words have supported me - I’ve always been the strong one - the fixer of issues - I can’t fix this .... but your words have buoyed me and given me support - I’m not alone and I’ve had responses from strong women who understand exactly what I’m going through - no judgements and for that I’m ever so grateful to all of you for taking a moment to respond - thank you 💝I’m going ahead with the surgery - I’m at peace with my decision

Hi there, I really believe it is critical to listen to your own inner voice and follow your gut feeling no matter what anyone thinks. You know yourself better than anyone and understand your own emotions and needs. Do what is the best for you. Good luck with your decision

Hi @Grandma , although I am not a grandma yet, I am turning 66 middle of this year. I am pleased you posted your comment, as I have similar feelings. Each year in January I have my yearly mammogram and ultrasound and at that time I have severe anxiety, and wonder if I should have just had a bilateral mastectomy when I was diagnosed end on 2016 (cancer in both breasts and in 2 lymph nodes). Of course, I know this would not mean that the cancer could not return, but at least the mammograms and ultrasounds would have come to a close. I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that each January when I need to have my yearly reviews, I think I should have just had both breasts off in the first instance. I don't think you are nuts! At times I think my breasts are just time bombs, and perhaps I should have had a bilateral mastectomy, so I certainly understand the dilemma you are going through. A bilateral mastectomy wasn't necessary in my case, so I opted for the bilateral breast conserving surgery, as I was told that most "fare" better ":psychologically" without the ordeal of mastectomies. Whether we keep our breasts or not is the question! Some say we should follow our gut instincts, which I did, but , like you I now question my decision.

In the end it has to be your decision. I ended up with a mastectomy anyway but my question at the time was whether I should have both taken. The answer then was that it wasn't needed. Twelve months later my surgeon said that if I was really struggling with the anxiety, he was happy to take the other. I haven't done it but know that I have that option without having to fight for it. If it is what you feel you need to do and your surgeon won't consider it, best to find someone else.By the way, do you have a 3D mammogram or a 2D? 3D gives more clarity.

This is a very valid concern and very valid post about it. It’s a hard decision, but if you feel right about it, then you should do it. Peace of mind and being stress free is more important than anything else. It’s not about what others think and whether it’s silly. It’s about your body, and your physical and mental health, so there’s nothing silly about it. Good luck with it all 🍀♥️

Do I or don’t I ? | BCNA Online Network

24 Replies

patdug
Member
5 years ago
@"Grandma of 7" So glad you got through the operation and feeling good with your decision. take good care of yourself xxx....
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Mazbeth
Member
5 years ago
Fantastic to hear you are doing well @"Grandma of 7" - I too did the double mastectomy and felt the same way you feel. Take care and I am wishing you well for a great recovery.
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Keeping_positiv
Member
5 years ago
@Grandma of 7 so pleased for you, it sounds like you have found peace and that is a wonderful. All the best with healing and moving forward, knowing you have done what is best for you.

A decision well made in my opinion. Take care.
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sooziqu
Member
5 years ago
@Grandma of 7, so glad you are doing well and found that sense of peace you were looking for. I opted for a DMX when I had cancer in just the left breast because I didn't want to spend the next 5 years waiting for the other breast to 'turn on me'. I also wanted a diep flap reconstruction so it made sense to do both and have that symmetry. The doctor didn't suggest it, I requested it 2 days before surgery. After I brought it up he said it was a wise decision because I had a 30% higher chance of the right breast getting BC! He didn't mention that at any time prior. I did my own research and came to my own conclusion. No looking back and completely happy I went the way I did. Speedy recovery and see you out the other side!!!
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Zoffiel
Member
5 years ago
I don't think anyone who hasn't done this can understand the sense of relief afterwards. It's not something you can communicate to someone who is struggling to make a decision.
None of us want to be here and lopping off body parts is really nasty stuff. Ultimately, though, it's about survival. And sanity. Welcome to the 2MX club. Mxx
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lrb_03
Member
5 years ago
@"Grandma of 7" you sound so at peace, having made your decision and had your surgery. I'm happy for you
Best wishes for a smooth recovery
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FLClover
Member
5 years ago
Good on you 👏🏻 That’s very brave. It’s over now and you can heal and just get on with life ♥️
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Grandma_of_7
Member
5 years ago
Thank you Michele R 💕
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MicheleR
Member
5 years ago
@"Grandma of 7" thats fabulous. Glad everything going to plan.
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Grandma_of_7
Member
5 years ago
update - I saw the surgeon Monday 29/3 and he offered me surgery on Wed 31/3 and I took him up on the offer. Those days before surgery I was often in tears - who in their right mind goes and has a bilateral mastectomy as a conscious decision and I found myself second guessing my decision but I put one foot in front of the other and kept going. Saw an amazing bra specialist on Tues who supportively answered all my crazy questions and I settled . My husband has been my rock and here I am back at home - relieved - happy - settled and have my two companion drains follow me around and now I move forward with life - there’s so much to be grateful for and so much of life to experience - bring it on ! I’m ready !
Thank you all so much for your supportive and honest words - you carried me through and now I hope I can pay this support forward to someone else that may be in a similar situation 💗
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Do I or don’t I ?

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