Im a workaholic - if I dont, who will?
Giovanna_BCNA
Member Posts: 1,838 ✭
Comments
-
Don't worry - that's not unusual... I had a moment during my follow-up scans last year and my first thought was organising work.1
-
I remember when my surgery was booked. It was around the Christmas/New Year period which included lots of Public Holidays & i thought to myself, "I wont miss too much work then". I did get a shock then, when my surgeon visited me the day after my surgery & told me I would need to have 2 weeks off work. Well, a lot included P/H's but there were still many days of work that I would be missing so I then got my phone & started organising my relief & staffing from my hospital bed. I guess it takes our minds off of the cancer/treatment etc but there does come a time when the phone needs to be turned off & all you need to worry about is you!!
If you have income protection insurance, then I suggest this may be something that you can use during this time of surgery/treatment & upcoming time off work. All the best & we're all here for you xx2 -
No you are not mad. First thing I did, when chemo was confirmed, was discuss with my oncologist when I could and couldn’t start because of my work commitments. I think back on it now with a combination of amusement and respect for my oncologist’s patience - he was just trying to save my life. As it turned out, I worked right through chemo - it’s the luck of the draw. Some can, some can’t and there seems to be no particular logic. Most can’t tell which before starting. So plans A and B are worth doing. I didn’t have young children to think of but they are just old enough to understand you may need some help and to discuss ways in which they can do that. Others on the network who have had that experience have offered some really good tips and I am sure can do so again. Now is also a good time to look at what you may be able to turn to if necessary - if your job includes super, can you access insurance? Over planning is a slight pitfall - the tendency is to try and plan the next 6 or 12 months in detail right now! Problem is, you don’t know yet how things will turn out. Taking one step at a time is agony for organisers but it’s also really practical in this situation.
I was told to take two weeks off after surgery and, reluctantly, planned to do so (mastectomy and axillary clearance). As it turned out, I was fine after a week. Just as easily, it could have been four. People can and will step up, the hardest part is letting them do so. Keep your eyes on the prize, it’s being well, staying well and being with your loved ones. Very best wishes.6 -
The first time I boarded the BC train my son was 13. I'd been a single parent for a while and any spare funds went into making sure the house (literally) didnt fall down . Money has always been tight, treats were rare and it was a momentous occasion when I rebuilt the back of the house enough to not have to use a shovel to jack up the back door in order to close it.
A 'mend and make do' mentality doesn't suit everyone, but money isn't everything. It's just most things.
I hated giving up hard won ground at work when I've been in treatment. It feels like a sacrifice you can never recoup. And it can be. But, for me, I had little choice and given that the next scan could be the one that tells you you're irredeemably fucked, there comes a time when everyone has to make concessions. Including the kids.
You didn't choose to be going through this and can't do it on your own without something having to give. It might be taking a back seat for a couple of days per cycle. It might mean not being not being able to work at all. Whatever those concessions are, the people around you will have to understand you are not superwoman and that things have changed, either in the short or long term.
Many of us find the loss of control of our lives the bitterest pill we have to swallow. Good luck, keep plodding forward. Mx6 -
My kids were 11, 12 & 15 at diagnosis. It wasn't easy emotionally for them at times but they amazed me with their ability to rise to the occasion and what they could do. While they can still drive me crazy when they don't think beyond the immediate, I think they have grown so much in maturity and confidence compared to what could have been. Check out income protection with your Super but depending on your job, you may find that working is not a problem for you. If friends want to help, name some specifics - no point having a freezer full of meals if what you really need is for the kids to be taken to sport once a week. More than anything - be honest with your kids and take it a step at a time.4
-
Good luck with it all @Kezz. Do try and have some time away to concentrate on getting well again. Maybe you can bring work home , at least that way you can work at your own pace.
As the daughter of a mum who went through bc single handed at 43 with 5 kids under 14, and then had to go and find work after her mastectomy,(thanksDad
) .I have seen a superwoman in action and I know that although my 13 year old self didn't really show my appreciation at the time, I can't thank my mum enough now for putting us kids first and just getting on life no matter how hard it was for her.
She told me that on a rough day at home when she was thinking the worst, she would cry but then 'put her face on' just before we walked in from school so she would look 'normal'.
My kids were in their early 20's when I got bc and helped me get through the tough times so I honestly don't know how she did it but so glad she did...............and we still have her around today dispensing wisdom at 86.
4 -
Thank you for your comments. I had a moment after the MRI yesterday trying to explain how utterly responsible I am in all areas of my life. Narelle the lovely nurse says to me.. so you’re the ‘it’ person? .... with her understanding smile lol.... This leaning on others is going to be strange as I’m not sure where they’re coming from all of a sudden!
Thank you for the suggestions. I’m not hopeful of great insurance cover but I may just be surprised.1 -
Income Protection is unlikely to be great but it may just be enough to keep things together if you need it. Make sure that you understand the restrictions around your particular cover, though. There is likely to be a period that you have to be not working for before it kicks in and if you do any work after that, it may negate it. It just depends on the particular policy.1
-
Working through treatment helped me to focus on something other than medical issues, it also helped me to keep an income coming in as I was single. The benefit of continuing with work is there is no having to go back to work. It was pretty tiring working, particularly through 6 months of chemo, but it gave me a sense of independence and a normal part of my life continued. It’s not always possible, but work was my mental exercise, my financial stability and an important social network for me.3
-
Good luck with your treatment @Kezz. First thing I said when I was diagnosed was “I’ve just got a new job and I’ve got a holiday planned can any treatment be delayed”!!! The holiday was canned but I was able to work through the bulk of the 15 months of treatment, in total I think I had about 5 weeks off including 2 for surgery.
It can be done but it’s hard especially after chemo treatments. I was office based though and I get that it’s not always possible for people to keep going, I wouldn’t have been able to do a physically demanding job. Like @LucyE for me it absolutely helped my mental health and my colleagues were more supportive than others close to me. You can ask for modifications to your work role to reduce the pressure and you need to avoid sick people which isn’t easy in any workplace.
4
