Good Results! Why am I still doubting?

sumha

Sooo when I last posted I did not know what the results would be. I was worried mums cancer had spread to any of her vital organs. 

She got a lot of tests done... I sat in the room with her while she got some of her scans done and I’ve got to say, it was overwhelming. 

Turns out the results are pretty good! Her bone scan was great, her bloods were great and her cancer hasn’t spread. we were all very happy and it relieved A LOT of stress off the entire family. 

With all of this being said, I’m still somewhat anxious that they’ve missed something... Maybe they haven’t had a good enough look at the x-rays and missed something? I mean why not? They didn’t see the cancer in her tumor the first time she got it looked at.

We arent 100% sure of what treatment plan will be going ahead yet because she’s still waiting for test results on her heart to come back. They are thinking (I hope I have this right, there’s so much info) she will need a lumpectomy on her breast and they will also remove ALL of the lymph nodes under her arm. She will also get chemo AND radiotherapy. (Not sure which order all of these treatments will be in however.) they guess that treatment will last 4-6 months. I hope that it’s only that long... I want all of this to be over a soon as it can be. I guess everyone wants that for themselves and their loved ones too... I have so much sympathy and love and respect for EVERYONE going through something like this.

primek

I had a read back and yes...as your Mum has a positive lymph node already they will do a clearance of nodes under her arm at time of surgery.
If she has chemo that normally comes next then lastly it's  radiotherapy.
I think we all struggle with believing results and trusting nothing has been missed so it's perfectly normal  for you to worry. However just try to focus on the now...and whats happening presently as worrying just exhausts us. Your Mum will needs lots of physical and emotional support to get through treatment. You need to look after yourself too, so make sure you have someone you can talk to either face  to face....perhaps at school. ..or even through the cancer council. Canteen is a fabulous online resource and support service also. 

Sister

@sumha So pleased to hear your Mum's tests came back with a good result.  It's natural to be anxious that the medical team have missed something but best to turn your thoughts away from that because it's a never-ending spiral.  You work with what you know.  Your Mum will get the treatment plan that is appropriate for her.  The object of further treatment after surgery is to mop up any stray cells that may have gone a-wandering.  I have had surgery, chemo and radiation over the past 12 months and was struggling with the idea of recurrence at the end of it.  What my oncologist told me was to try not to overthink every niggle or pain I got.  If something didn't go away, get it checked out.  But that the important thing to do was to understand that I had done everything I could at this stage and to get back to living.  Because continually thinking that cancer was back was not living well at all.  He also said that he knew it wouldn't be easy to do.  At the time, that advice did calm me and a few months down the track, I have recognised just how true it is.  I think less about the cancer itself and most of my thoughts about it tend to be annoyance about the impact it has had on my body.  I don't know the future but I'm trying not to waste my life worrying about things that I don't know.  To put it a different way, I know that cars are dangerous and that many people's lives are impacted by car accidents - that doesn't mean that I'm going to freak out every time I have to get in a car.

So, that was a long way to tell you to try to slow your thoughts down and go day by day.  Your Mum has some shit to go through and you will be going through it with her.  Does your school have a well-being/counselling team?  Or as @primek has said, there is also Canteen.  Touch base with either or both of these services.  My kids were a great support to me, mostly by getting on with things while at the same time understanding when I wasn't feeling well enough to function as normal.

Take care.