Hi Amanda. Welcome to the forum. Yes, though none of us want to be here, it is indeed a lovely place to hang out at a really tough time. I hope you find it as warm and supportive as I have.
It is often a whirlwind when we get diagnosed, particularly for those of us in the big cities (our country sisters and brothers can struggle with the opposite problem). I was diagnosed on a Monday and had my tumour removed the next day.
So you are still in shock, your plans for the next few months are in disarray, and you are wondering what on earth your life has become. It's bloody scary. I was very very angry for a few weeks, and then I started to cry and didn't stop for a month. If crying was an Olympic event I would have won gold!
You are starting chemo on the same Monday as I did last year. I was petrified about it, had a massive panic attack two nights before, and a massive sobbing meltdown during my first infusion (a funny story for another time). I have a particular back story (you can click on my @ to read a brief outline) so it was all a bit loaded, but the reality of chemotherapy these days is that the bulk of us fall in the middle when it comes to side effects. Some have a really difficult time, others are able to keep working and have few side effects. We all react differently, so as hard as it is, try not to cross any bridges until you get to them.
If you'd like to, tell us a little about yourself, and what sort of cancer you have, and what sort of chemo you're having. Isn't the learning curve insane? Just about vertical for many of us...
Important at this time is to be really kind to yourself. Try to stay in the moment as best you can. Take everything one day at a time, one hour at a time if needs be. Distract yourself, exercise, hang out with friends or family, do whatever works for you to get through this difficult time. Once treatment gets underway things should get easier. It's remarkable how quickly it all becomes routine.
It's doable Amanda, and we're here for you. Hit us up with any question, rant, vent or worry. Biggest of hugs, K xox