Just diagnosed

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Sweetpetal
Sweetpetal Member Posts: 29
edited November 2018 in Newly diagnosed
Hi I'm in Brisbane and was just diagnosed on Friday 9th Nov. I had an indent in my right breast which my partner noticed ages ago and I just ignored it (I know, I know I'm stupid). So I have to have chemo first to shrink the lump as it's too big and my boob is small. It's all too much for me right now I wish it would just all go away.
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  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960
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    Welcome @Sweetpetal.  There's no point looking backwards - you're doing what you need to now. It's very overwhelming at diagnosis.  I won't say you'll get used to it but you will find it easier in some ways when treatment starts and you know that you're dealing with it.  You'll find lots of support, info and the odd laugh here.
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
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    Bloody sucks. I remember saying exactly the same thing when I was diagnosed, I wish it would just all go away. That's almost a year ago now.

    That feeling will pass, to be replaced by others, some crap, some better. Right now, do what you can to distract yourself. Stupid tv sitcoms were the only thing that worked for me. Exercise, work, gardening, the company of those who make you laugh, whatever works for you. If you're that way inclined, meditation can help. It puts a space between you and your thoughts. I use Headspace via an app on my phone.

    When it all threatens to overwhelm, take some slow deep breaths. Try 4-7-8. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Do this five times. It will help calm your nervous system which is currently totally overloaded.

    And tomorrow, give the BCNA helpline a call. 1800 500 258. The wonderful folk there are a tremendous resource and fantastic listeners.

    Hang in there. Big hug, K xox
  • Riki_BCNA
    Riki_BCNA Staff Posts: 323
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    Hello and welcome @Sweetpetal it can be so overwhelming in the beginning, send you a pm
  • jennyss
    jennyss Member Posts: 1,959
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    Dear @Sweetpetal , Yes, come here for support and laughs and cries.


  • socoda
    socoda Member Posts: 1,767
    edited November 2018
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    Hi @Sweetpetal and welcome. It's a shock when you're diagnosed but you've come to the right place for support and information. The ladies and gents on this site are incredibly open and giving in their wish to help others through and if you have any questions just ask as there will be someone here who can help you. This site is also fantastic for venting and talking things through (like fears etc) that you can't discuss with loved ones, we all get it. Sending you a big hug and some calming vibes. Xx 
  • kezmusc
    kezmusc Member Posts: 1,544
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    Welcome @Sweetpetal,

    There is nothing that prepares you for that earthshaking diagnosis.  The fear that surfaces at the start is indescribable.  No body can quite understand unless they have felt it.  I remember each morning waking up hoping it had all been a horrible dream, unfortunately not.

    No point in blaming yourself, there is no room in this process for guilt.  Distraction is definitely the best method.  I ran myself ragged those first few weeks (in between bouts of tears) just to keep my mind from turning to total mush.  Once the ball gets rolling you will feel a little more in control and settle into a bit of a routing.

    It will be ok, you will get it done and we will be right there beside you every step of the way if you like.  

    xoxoxox
  • AllyJay
    AllyJay Member Posts: 945
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    Hi there @Sweetpetal...welcome to the group that nobody ever thought they'd join. Amen to all that others have already said with such wiseness. This whole crapfest is a nightmare, but it will get easier. Once you start actively destroying this monster which is trying to destroy you, you will feel better. Better in that you are turning the tables on it, but to be truthful, also a trying business as you progress through treatment and surgery. We've been there and lived what you are now starting with, and I can assure you, we get it...we understand...and we will be your soft place to land when things get tough. We'll also be here to cheer you on with each good day and triumph that you have. So...your cuddle squad as well as your cheer squad. Sending the biggest (((hug))). Ally.
  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392
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    Welcome. We all live with ...if only I had done this...scenario
    ..but it is most unhelpful to our recovery. All we can do is make good informed decisions and tackle treatment head on. It's not easy but doable. Kath x
  • Sweetpetal
    Sweetpetal Member Posts: 29
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    Sounds weird but I really really wish I could hurry up and see my oncologist so I know exactly what is happening.  So frustrating living in limbo right now :s
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,373
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    Not at all weird, the waiting is very difficult. Knowing what's what, even if it's not the answer you were hoping for, seems better than not knowing, to almost everyone. Time goes a bit out of kilter at this stage, everything either takes an eternity or happens in a whirlwind! It does get a bit better, try and take it day by day. Best wishes. 
  • Brenda5
    Brenda5 Member Posts: 2,423
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    Hey at least it is diagnosed now and something can be done. Use this time to maybe cook and freeze a few meals and get your house in order for the times when you don't feel the greatest. Day by day you will get through it all. I couldn't see the end game as I would just get all flustered so it was day by day, week by week and I got through. You will too. <3