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Summer_Prevails's avatar
Summer_Prevails
Member
7 years ago

A time capsule for my nauseated friends

I just had a shower. It’s been 18 months since my last chemo cycle date. And I had this shocking thought as I stared at the bathroom floor tiles: I can hardly remember the feeling of being constantly nauseated. 

The shower was my safe haven from sickness. I used to sit on the shower floor, crumpled up, too weak to stand to wash myself, sick as hell. Vomiting was just a way of life. I wholeheartedly believed it would NEVER END. 

And now I find it’s a memory, it’s so in the past. Never thought I’d live to see the day. 

So my message to you, the ones in the absolute midst of chemo nausea hell right now feeling like it will never stop, is this: 

One day you will have no idea when the last time you threw up was. You’ll be so far past nausea, you won’t even notice it’s gone. 

Hang on for that time.
x 
chemotherapy
coping
inspiration
treatment
  • Sister's avatar
    Sister
    Member
    7 years ago
    @"Summer Prevails"  I feel both heartbroken and happy about your experience.  I am so sorry that you felt that way for so long and so pleased that it is just a memory now.
  • Kiwi_Angel's avatar
    Kiwi_Angel
    Member
    7 years ago
    @"Summer Prevails" sorry u had such a terrible time. I was lucky and didn’t get too much nausea with my type of chemo. What a relief to not have it anymore though. Hopefully the shower can become a safe haven for u to have some “me” time and relax rather than a haven from feeling like shit xoxo
  • arpie's avatar
    arpie
    Member
    7 years ago
    I am SO glad that is all in the past now, @"Summer Prevails"  ...

    As @"Kiwi Angel" says .... hopefully the shower becomes your friend now - I know that I just LOVE standing there, letting the warm water course all over me ..... (probably using too much water ......)  It is naught but nice!  

    All the best xx

  • Kiwi_Angel's avatar
    Kiwi_Angel
    Member
    7 years ago
    @arpie I normally have such quick showers during the work week - especially now I have such short hair to wash  ;) Normally once a week though in there for ages and it’s so nice just to relax and feel it ease all your tension 
  • Afraser's avatar
    Afraser
    Member
    7 years ago
    Great post! When you are utterly overwhelmed by something - doesn't have to be vomiting, or even cancer - you feel there will never be an end. But this too will pass. One day, you may even find it much harder to remember exactly how you felt when diagnosed. Worth remembering about good times too. Life bowls along and ultimately we can choose what to hang on to and what to let go. 
  • KezzaG's avatar
    KezzaG
    Member
    7 years ago
    Thank you @"Summer Prevails"..... such a beautiful reminder of what to look forward to.  I've just finished my second dose of chemo and whilst I'm so lucky that nausea hasn't hit me as hard as you, the shower is still my place to relieve the aches and pains and also my own private place to cry as much as I like. Especially after having looked in the mirror to see the scars, the flat chest and no hair.
    Your message was a timeful reminder of what the future can hold.  Thank you xx 
  • kmakm's avatar
    kmakm
    Member
    7 years ago
    What a marvellous post! I loved reading it, beautifully written. So good for all of us to read, especially for those who are in the midst of chemo.

    I love my shower too, and like @"Kiwi Angel", am enjoying the extra time my pixie cut is affording me! We'd only just finished renovating last year when I was diagnosed and it's the first house I've ever lived in with a new bathroom. I still get a thrill when I step in there. And I haven't cried in the shower for ages!

    Good on ya Summer! K xox
  • Kiwi_Angel's avatar
    Kiwi_Angel
    Member
    7 years ago
    I have just had a nice long shower where I shaved everything (now that I have to do that again  ;), washed my hair, exfoliated myself and slathered myself in a thick blueberry body butter from the body shop - ready to face the day!!

    @kmakm I don’t know if I will go back to long hair - so much easier and I have had so many compliments on it. 
  • Summer_Prevails's avatar
    Summer_Prevails
    Member
    7 years ago
    @KezzaG I’m glad I could help in any way! There’s so many things I wish I hadve been able to go back in time and tell myself....if that made sense! And I just know how bloody horrible it is to be in that space of never ending UGHness...I probably would not have believed anyone who told me at the time that I’d one day forget it.

    Honestly sometimes in my shower I get flashbacks, and start crying out of the blue. Sometimes it’s purely because I’m thinking of others fighting with BC who are in their shower feeling pain and ugly and scarred and I wish I could take all of that away for them ❤️ Something about showers, water and emotion are linked for me. 

    Love to you all. Your scars are fucking pirate cool and you’re amazing x o x o