Forum Discussion
Why are we in hiding?
This started as a post on another discussion but I felt that it's importance to me meant it needed it's own spotlight. I started to diverge from the issue at hand with, "If anyone has an issue with my disease that is their problem - I can't deal with it." The only concession I make is head covering when I'm out of the house and a prosthesis "in public" - that is more about being sensitive to my immediate family than me caring.
I do wish that "out and proud" was more socially acceptable. Given that 1 in 8 women get breast cancer, I wonder how many of us are walking around wearing an uncomfortable prosthesis or going under the reconstructive knife just to appease social norms (and I don't mean that women who want reconstructions, shouldn't have them - just those of us who don't care). Will I go down the reconstruction path? Possibly. But not because I have a problem with my self-image.
I know there's been exhibitions, etc of woman with mastectomies but unfortunately I think they edge towards the label of "freak show" (and I don't mean that in a derogatory sense). What would happen if it was just normal to see women without a breast/s? Would the world stop or fall apart, or would society accept that shit happens and there goes a survivor? And to take it further, maybe the possibility of a mammogram would not be quite so frightening.
I do wish that "out and proud" was more socially acceptable. Given that 1 in 8 women get breast cancer, I wonder how many of us are walking around wearing an uncomfortable prosthesis or going under the reconstructive knife just to appease social norms (and I don't mean that women who want reconstructions, shouldn't have them - just those of us who don't care). Will I go down the reconstruction path? Possibly. But not because I have a problem with my self-image.
I know there's been exhibitions, etc of woman with mastectomies but unfortunately I think they edge towards the label of "freak show" (and I don't mean that in a derogatory sense). What would happen if it was just normal to see women without a breast/s? Would the world stop or fall apart, or would society accept that shit happens and there goes a survivor? And to take it further, maybe the possibility of a mammogram would not be quite so frightening.
58 Replies
- @PatsyN. U are an inspiration and look amazing. U go girl. xoxoxo
- @PatsyN You look great! Nor should you be in hiding!
- @PatsyN You look amazing! So good, and so strong. Look at that 'tude! And you are rocking the brunette look baby, fo sho! Gorgeous. K xox
- CONTENT WARNING
@kmakm
I'm trying to make my new one titted brunette look sexy. It's early days but my confidence is riding high. Being on the edge of death is quite liberating. If I'm not suitable for recon then I'll get a tattoo of a gelato cone (just kiddin). I hope the following photos are not gratuitous but I'm not in hiding.
You're a powerhouse and I bet I cried more than you did. xoxo
An impulsive moment in my bedroom, jodhpurs and boots still on.
5 kids and nearly 64. That left tit was breastfeeding till I was 47yrs old. - @zoffiel I always love your spin on things lol. I get around my local town often without my tits in and have gone to work without them in in the past. I wear scrubs so they are lose and baggy and arent as noticeable but I have also had the pity stares when I haven’t had them in too which I roll my eyes at! But if it makes that person go home and check their tits or get a mammogram then it’s one life that could potentially avoid having to go through this shit and makes them more aware of their tits then my job is done. like @sister said 1 in 8 women get bc so if I can make a difference being titless then that’s a good thing. The world is full of fuckwits always has been always will be but even the fuckwits need to check their boobs. Margie. Xx
- @PatsyN And how are you finding it?!
- There are heaps of people around here bald, men and women, I didn't feel any more stared at than usual. We're outnumbered by tourists all year and locals all know one another. I kept giving myself a number one for a few months after it started to grow back. It would grow thicker and a better colour every time. 2 weeks ago I went to the hairdresser with such short hair (maybe equivalent to a number 4) thinking she might send me away. I got it dyed 2 shades darker so am a brunette for the first time in my life.
- I mostly wore the little close fitting caps rather than go bald. I liked how I looked bald but I hated the stares. Still got stares in the hats but less so. Now with a bit of regrowth I'm going without the hats a bit. It's possible that I've deluded myself into thinking I look edgy and cool... However it's mostly too cold to go without a hat now. Can't win!
- I walked around bald all the time but wore a beanie at night to keep me warm during chemo. I wanted everyone to know I had cancer and that I was not a drunk or drug addict such was the way I walked. I've showed my new one titted body to quite a few people and all agree that it's barely noticeable, naked or clothed. Although I would like reconstruction, I may not be a candidate, in which case I'll get a pretty tattoo. It's not a major concern for me and like @Zoffiel, have found that men don't care. I never had tits anyway. I've been single for over 20 years and my tits have never been one of my features. I just hope that Arimidex doesn't do to me what they said menopause would (so far, so good...)
- @Finch I edged my garden bed in my 20s. However my reconstruction has moved the border north so to speak! New edges have to be established... :p
