Got the shits with having no tits!

onemargieonemargie queenslandMember Posts: 1,189
Hi hi there ladies so you may or may not know my story click on my name if you’d like to but those of you that do will know I had my left boob off June 2016 then took the other one off nov 2016 as a preventative as my gut told me to. So here’s my bitch for the day. I was at the local market on Sunday and saw this gorgeous casual all in one jumpsuit. It was light and had big loose pants and looked super comfy. I loved it so why am I whinging you Ask? It had cute little ties on the shoulders but it was sbit low at the back and the font but it was ok and I was given omg to buy it even put it in the bag with a cute little belt to tie it all together. Then the guy had trouble with having s eftpos machine and I was looking at it on the display and thought there’s no way I can wear this with no tits... I only wear the sports bras from kmart or the aah bras with my crocheted titties as the prosthetics are too hot and heavy and give me a rash and it just wasn’t going to sit right. It gives me the shits that I can’t fucking pick somethings  I like sometimes and have to accept that this is how it is until I get my  new tits through the fucking huge qld public waiting list and definately don’t have 25k to buy a set and I wouldn’t anyway if I did on principal. Been through enough for fucks sake with chemo and a double mastectomy. How the fuck can this procedure be elective. As you might know I went on the channel 10 Brisbane news to discuss this and I know change takes time but I just hope in the future that other women with bc don’t have to wait this long or have the option of other treatments so they don’t have to lose their boobs in the first place it’s bullshit. Mostly it doesn’t bother me but I also picked an outfit for Xmas and couldn’t wear that either for the same reason. Don’t get me wrong I have so much to be grateful for I just hate looking in the mirror and being reminded of this shit. It does also remind me that I survived this shit too. There was a time when I didn’t want a recon too but I just hate having my choices taken away..... rant over. Thanks for listening. Margie xxx
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Comments

  • AineGAineG Member Posts: 53
    Hey onemargie,  I Guess I'm  a little different in that I opted for no reconstruction, but my problem is the stomach, not the flat chest!!!  :wink:
    I know it's frustrating having to wait so long for a surgery you need.  Hope the QLD govt get it together sooner than later!! 
    A
  • MollygirlMollygirl Brisbane Member Posts: 213
    Oh @onemargie, I hear you Girlfriend!!!!  I'm only 5 weeks since my mastectomies and I am struggling with clothes big time. Like you, I see stuff, love it, try it on then hate it. I only have the soft forms at the mo (go for prosthetics and bra fittings in a few weeks) and the smallest ones are bigger than my boobs were
  • MollygirlMollygirl Brisbane Member Posts: 213
    Arrgh cut my post off...

    bigger than my boobs were and feels like a shelf and very unnatural. And the big ugly post op bra is difficult to cover. 
    Im happy with my decision, well happy as you can be... It's not my arms or legs right? No, just a huge part of my femininity, dignity, identity and self esteem. 
    I only had a breast reduction three years ago and was soooooo happy with my new breasts
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited January 1
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • LucyELucyE Member Posts: 295
    edited January 1
    Reconstruction should be available to every woman who wants it, either in the public or private system and should be offered in a reasonable time.

     I have felt better emotionally since having reconstruction mid last year. I had to wait for 2 years for medical reasons, but had access from the very early stages if I hadn’t had radiotherapy and other issues. This should be available to all women. I was able to have reconstruction and reduction with no gap payments in the private system. The waiting times for the public system and out of pocket expenses for the private system are problematic. The problem is the sky rocketing costs of providing health care in this country. I’m not sure what the solution is. 
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 4,419
    Is there anyway you could get on a waiting list in another state? I mean I travel 500k to see my breast surgeon which is in SA. I'm in NSW. Justcwondering if there is a friend across the border than can help you out with an address to near the hospital. I stayed at a Cancer lodge before and after surgery at $60 a night.  
  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 2,469
    @primek
     you have said exactly what I had been thinking...... I am flat and happy to be flat... 
    But you have a right to have reconstruction this century..... 
  • FlaneuseFlaneuse BrisbaneMember Posts: 353
    @onemargie I'm so sorry that you're having a shitty time right now. You've been such a tremendous support to me. Now you need some hugs back. It's just not fair to have to put up with wearing clothes that don't make you feel great, and not being able to buy new things you fall in love with. I hope you discover something else beautiful very soon, that you'll be able to wear with joy. Fran x
  • MollygirlMollygirl Brisbane Member Posts: 213
    @onemargie do you have prosthetics? It annoys the crap out of me looking so hollowed out but I'm nervous about getting fitted. Have you done that ?  You're in Brisbane right? Where did you go if you have? X
  • Brenda5Brenda5 Burrum Heads, QldMember Posts: 2,021
    I only have one breast and clothes like to pull to one side. I buy a bigger looser fit and mostly for going out I have button down the front and usually a pocket. The pocket sort of masks the missing breast. Mind you I have worn just a tank top with no bra down the beach and not one person has ever noticed my missing breast.
  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 2,511
    Dear oh dear!  Not off to a good start on your countdown to new boobs!  Hopefully things will improve and you'll work out a way to use strapless bras to give your clothing of choice a good look! 
     
    https://www.erilan.com.au/products/barbara-strapless?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=googlepla&variant=818084877&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjLSZtpm72AIVWgoqCh2tpAIcEAYYASABEgIe-fD_BwE

    As to why or how come the waiting list is so long, that I am sorry, I have no understanding of!   I think most of us have read the story of the lady from Cairns waiting since 2011................

    Many years ago we were on a waiting list that expired before we got the top so I get the frustration!

    Take care


  • onemargieonemargie queenslandMember Posts: 1,189
    Hi there ladies thanks for your comments I’m feeling better today and am  accepting that for now I will just have to compromise. And sometimes I think I might chicken out of the surgery when the time comes eventually and I’m ok with that too but I just had the shits as I can’t just wear what I like these days that’s all. Anyway it’s ok I’m ok with flat and fabulous for now and the scars remind me of just how fucking big your balls have to be to get through this shit. And @primek thanks for the suggestion but I’m not in position financially to consider that as an option at the moment but I appreciate everyone’s thoughts. And @Mollygirl I did get fitted for the prosthetics but unfortunately they gave me a rash and were quite hot and heavy too. But I saw Tracey G  in Maroochydore to get my fitting she also has a mobile service and can come to you. I’m still waiting for my Berlei bra 18 months since my diagnosis that my breast care nurse was supposed to organise and after several requests from myself and Tracey never happened. I just ended up giving up and gave the prosthetics away to my local Be Uplifted  breast care charity that I support due to the irritation. Wendy gave them away to a lady who couldn’t afford the ridiculous upfront $800 you have to pay first before you wait weeks from Medicare to get the rebste back. I think she has other sets available to if anyone needs any. Thanks heaps  ladies. Margie xx 
  • MollygirlMollygirl Brisbane Member Posts: 213
    Oh bless you @onemargie, I'm glad you're feeling a little better today, it really does suck that you have to compromise at all. Sometimes I feel like I haven't actually caught up with the fact that it's all happened and I'm left with no breasts ( and the rest of the crappy side effects that go on fir an eternity...) although today I was at the gym ( my second day of trying to get strong and healthy again) and I started crying mid biceps curls with the piss weak 2kg Dumbells that are the smallest in the gym- cos I looked at myself in the mirror and I looked wasted and scrappy with hair that looks like a moth eaten cats fur and I have no shape and a stupid flat chest. 
    Then to top it all off I popped into Indooroopilly shoppingtown and after trying on 6 summer dresses I've decided to stop trying to find summer dresses. They all look stupid.  
    Rant over...
    I really hope Marg that I can wear the prosthetics - I'm feeling for you
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 4,419
    edited January 3
    Hey...glad you are feeling better. I'm just wondering if one of these might be helpful and they also have some wonderful bras.

    https://www.erilan.com.au/products/trulife-tri-leisure-breast-form?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=googlepla&variant=806702605&gclid=CjwKCAiAm7LSBRBBEiwAvL1-LwH1T86YFY3P1IJ_88FZayxKs-edebuxcgVbb4RCCFNpIef4VwhwYBoChk0QAvD_BwE

    Also you can  order your own bra from bcna since your breast care nurse hasn't done this. I didn't realise you didn't have your berlei bra. Not that I found that at all comfortable as it seemed a size smaller than all my other bras. 

    https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/my-care-kit/
  • ZoffielZoffiel Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 2,049
    I hate my retreads. They were cheap but they sure as shit are not cheerful. You are right @onemargie, it takes guts and balls to bulldoze your way through this.

    If I had my time again I would not have had reconstructions. My body hates the intruders and there is no way I would opt for more invasive surgery now.

    Go easy on yourself @Mollygirl At least you are out there giving it a go. Fronting up at the gym  then dealing with the fact your body is pretty much fucked takes a special sort of courage. Recovering from cancer is very different from trotting off to a personal trainer because you want to lose a few kilos before your wedding. This is serious shit and unfortunately we are not given the sort of rehab support we need to get back to a state where we can take our lives back. Keep going. Marg xxx
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