Always Look on the Bright Side of Life....(Sorry Monty Python).

AllyJayAllyJay Member Posts: 317
Well here I still am, left shoulder moves at about three quarters capacity, right side, just the demented penguin flapping thing from the elbow, providing the palm of the hand is face down. All necessary functions, such as dewdrop dabbing, more detailed wiping and swiping in the nearby area, shoe putting onnery,hair combing...okay okay, head fluff rearranging, are now strictly delegated to the left side. Drying after showering also just involves a bit of rubbing here and there and basically air drying the bits I can't reach. This leaves me rather clammy after showering, and trying to get dressed in a hurry, flying solo, is a bit of a challenge. Wednesday was a rush with me doing the Mrs Independent routine. Sitting on the bed, hoping the wet bits dried, I got my two falsies into their pockets in the bra. Now, with much fiddle faddle, I had the whole shebang, with my titties at the back, and hooks at the front all fastened up. This produced a fine film of sweat on top of the remaining moisture, which didn't help matters one bit. I then tried, one handed to rotate the Over Shoulder Boulder Holder to the front, whereupon I would get into the straps and proceed. This did not happen. Everything stuck to everything else, and no easy sliding happened. My pulling and tugging resulted in the one feral silicon titty escaping from the bra, and ending up on the floor in front of me quivering with indignation. Either that or quivering with suppressed mirth, I'm not too sure which. Fortunately, I trilingual in the profanity department, (English, Afrikaans and Zulu). Some prime turns of phrase were the result, and I had to admit defeat, and wait for hubby to arrive (in his lunch break) and finish dressing me, ready for an appointment....sighhhh....


  • AfraserAfraser MelbourneMember Posts: 1,559
    Ah the joys! I only have one prosthesis to deal with but the first week still lingers in my memory. It seemed quite impossible to get this large slippery ungrab-able thing into my bra with my bra on. So I tried putting it in the bra first and then putting the bra on me which was a bit like a catapult with a brick and about as useful. I discovered that practice in putting on my compression sleeve (the manufacturer's instructions were either compiled by a sadist or wrongly translated) was finally useful as practice did make perfect and the art of prosthesis placement was fairly rapidly mastered. The things you do........

  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 2,388
    I have now got a toweling dressing gown it has helped me with the shoulder restrictions etc.... I got my new one from Pillow talk... they are very good as they get 98% of the Moisture. I have perfected the art of "shuggling" out of the dressing gown while seated on my bed this allows me to use it to dry my legs and make sure the bottom is dry. 
    I go flat so I don't have the over the shoulder boulder holders anymore.... 
    Thank you for sharing it made me laugh when we all know it is frustrating to do those normal everyday activities etc.@Afraser
    compression sleeves are the bane of my life.... I either need another shower by time I get it on.... or I have to get one of my adult kids to help me get it on the right way and with no wrinkles or twists in it..... 

  • AfraserAfraser MelbourneMember Posts: 1,559
    I had a compression sleeve once, for a very short time, that depressed me in a way canger, chemo etc never did. Flung the thing across the room once. But persevered for more days before going back to my therapist in desperation. Lesson for the future, don't put up with stuff. Wretched thing was not only badly made, but badly measured. Finally settled on a German brand which is hard wearing, perfectly straight forward to put on (none of them are fast!) and works well. 
  • Molly001Molly001 Member Posts: 418
    Love it @AllyJay if we don't have a good laugh at ourselves and our predicaments it's a sad stae of affairs, really. Oh the many woes of bc!
  • Hopes_and_DreamsHopes_and_Dreams Gold CoastMember Posts: 752
    OMG, I so needed a laugh!  Thank you @AllyJay
  • Summerhill38Summerhill38 Member Posts: 750
    Hi @AllyJay
    Your description is hilarious (sorry !) and a picture we have probably all been at some stage.
    At least we an see the funny sides of our lives, even if it is a bit after the event, but it can be a struggle at times.
    Have an easy weekend minus the fakies for a break.
    Summer   :)
  • AllyJayAllyJay Member Posts: 317
    Hi there @Summerhill38, and others who have commented. Indeed the fakies only get strapped into service when I'm going out. At home, I swan about in a two sizes too big Kmart nightie, and not a titty in sight. (I also "go commando" as it's more comfy), buts  sshhh, don't tell!! It's just me and the furbabies during the day, so what the heck.
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 4,320
    @AllyJay So what would happen if you ventured out as well.

    One of the big reasons I chose recon was I am terribly bottom heavy and boobs at least balanced me enough I could buy some clothing and not so big at the top. I didn't want to fuss with detachable prosthetics. But if I was a different shape I may have embraced being flat and fabulous. 
  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 2,388
     no one even notices my flat chest these days .... I am feeling very free and no stuffing around trying to get a bra on with false boobs to boot. 

  • onemargieonemargie queenslandMember Posts: 1,135
    Hi there I’ve had a double and had a set of prosthetics. I was in my best friends wedding in September and earlier in the year went bridgesmaid dress shopping and I bought along said fakies to put into the dresses to try but forgot to take my boob tube so was trying on one particular dress it was strapless and a bit too big at the top so I was standing on the little step and the lady who owned  the store let go of the back and whoops one fell down the front of the dress slipping down past my knees hit the step and bounced onto the floor! We all just cracked up laughing poor lady didn’t know what to say but laughed too and was actually a bc survivor herself she’d just finished rads but only had really early stage and only had to have lumpectomy and rads so there you go. I have a couple sets of crocheted boobies now which are heaps better don’t give me a rash like the others and so much lighter and way more comfortable . I just pop them in my Kmart sports bra. Margie. Xx 
  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 2,466
  • AllyJayAllyJay Member Posts: 317
    Hi there @onemargie ; and @iserbrown , thanks for the response. I do have a pair of crocheted Knitted Knockers as well as a pair of knitted ones. Also have the soft stuffies that came with my Berlei bra. All of them look like I'm twelve years old and have pinched my big sister's bra, then stuffed it with my even older brother's socks. They just seem to look so very fake. Also (before I stuffed up both shoulders and could still raise my arms above my head), when I lifted my arms, my bra slid up my chest and so then my two bulging mountains sat just below my collarbone. I've found that the weight of the silicone ones seem to keep them where they belong....that is, if they haven't made a break for freedom already!!
  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 2,466
    @alljay - goodness it is a challenge - comfort is the key!  Take care and wishing you wellness
  • AfraserAfraser MelbourneMember Posts: 1,559
    Ah the ever rising boob! I had a softie for almost 12 months (thanks stubborn seroma) and it nearly drove me mad. Fine to put in but every time you bent over, it moved as it effectively had no gravity. I spent half my life adjusting. I was so happy once I got my prosthesis, as it stays put! The moving softie and the sloshing seroma were part of the reason I didn't start going to the gym till after they were sorted out - between the shifting figure and the incoming tide noises, I would have been a trifle conspicuous.
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