Chemo # 5 (2nd Tax) Day 9
After all the chemos I have been through - I thought I would have it worked out by now. This is my second round of taxotere and the dosage was lowered due to the intense bone pain after the last one.
My body is rattling with pain killers (dont think I have taken so many panadol in all my life). Let alone any of the other prescribed meds. Just dont have the get up and go and I am not even doing that much. More days in bed resting!
So short tempered with the children - they have been good really. (Oh and brought home head lice - cant believe it. Any advice !!) I am experiencing hot flushes, as I hear seems to be a side effect of the taxotere. I was always thinking it was suppose to get better. Each decision has to be made and the alternatives are not so bright.
Should I have a lumpectomy or a mastectomy? I dont want radiotherapy- I just want it over and done. Will I need a prosthesis - should I have reconstruction. It just keeps going and going. Tamoxifen will give me hot flushes can make me depressed so I might need anti depressants. Should I have my ovaries removed too - after all it is the hormones in my case that started all this.
OMG how is it that one little tumour (4cm) has consummed me and my life and my family and my friends.
Just feeling sad and sorry at the moment.
Maria333
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Poor you Maria i know it all gets too much doesnt it? so much to think of.I had a mastectomey ,16 rounds of chemo, and 33 hits of radiation,and still doing Herceptin 3 weekly . today i had to go and see about getting my ovaries out.Everyone says yay youve finished, but feels like this is never going to end.
Noone can tell you what to do regarding what treatment to take.Just get as much advice and information as you can to help you decide.Unfortunatly there is no definite path to take we just have to hope our medical team know what they are doing.
Like you i had a constant supply of meds but now im only down to a couple.My hot flushes were extreme so they put me on effexor which seemed to help.Now im on exemestane (which is like tamoxifin) and they are back with avengance.It seems i cant win and my bone and joint pain is worsening .Oh My god im so over it!!!Im praying im not like this for the next 5 years they say it settles down fingers crossed.
Dont be too hard on yourself being short with the kids .Id just explain to mine i was having a bad day and they seemed to accept that.I hope things settle down for you and you come to a decision soon that you can be at peace with.Its a hard struggle and we all need a whinge now and then.take care anniex
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Hi Maria
It sounds like you are having a rough time of it. I also had intense bone and joint pain which panadol didn't even touch. The pain from Taxol (I think it is of the same family as taxotere) was bearable but when I started on zometa it was a whole new world of pain! Ask for stronger pain killers if the ones you are taking don't do enough. Try to keep in mind that this will end, your chemo is not forever.
As Annie said, nobody can tell you the best path to take and you need to make that decision with your medical team, but do consider the long term gain - not just the short term pain. I can say that radiotherapy was not so bad, mostly it was inconvenient as it is every day. As far as tamoxifin goes I have had no problems with it at all. I know some have a terrible time but for me I didn't notice any changes or side effects. My hot flushes and skin issues have actually subsided since I started taking it though that may just be a timing coincidence!
As for being short tempered - well I think that happens to the best of us!! My "chemo rage" was especially bad if I had steroids (dexamethasone) but I think I might overly sensitive to them. Your body is being put through an awful lot and the tiredness on top of all the drugs and just the stress of the situation and treatment all adds up. That doesn't help I know but try not to be too hard on yourself.
Take care
Justine
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Thank you Annie,
After reading your very first line and how much you have had to endure - makes me feel like a big sook. Yes I know we are all different. I have also thought about getting my ovaries out - they are almost like an enemy producing hormones - I know we have to have some hormones. That decision will come later - like so many more ahead of us all.
That bone pain is the pits - I hear you, you shouldnt have to put up with it - call your oncologist.
If I had a choice I would have the pain rather than the crankiness and mood swings. Hell no my choice is neither - after all I get to chose.
All the very best.
Maria333
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Oh Justine that is it exactly 'chemo rage' I was given more dexamethasose to counteract the intense bone pain. When I read the side effects I am thinking 'oh my god' what are the benefits - not sure if they outway the side effects. Its like a residual effect that lingers days after it has been in your system.
I can see that the radiotherapy will be the least of my worries after chemo. Its just that I am sooo tired - just have to rest - drives me insane, I can't drive anywhere. Trying to get my iron levels up by eating well. Just seems to be so much slower getting back up this time round. Just feel I am not living.
Thank you for your kind words, all the very best.
Maria333
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Hi Maria
It does really sound like you're doing this part of your chemo treatment pretty hard. Hopefully there will be a couple of easier steps/decsions/times in there soon.
I have one more FEC and then start on the Docetaxol so am reading blogs like yours with extreme interest. The picture I'm getting is not pretty but then at least I'll go in knowing to expect a pretty bad time. I had to have extra fast acting neupogen injections before I could start chemo and experienced a lot of bone pain with them so i'm hoping against hope that it's not too much worse. I am lucky in that I can take and my oncologist didn't hesitate to prescribe Endone. I haven't had to take the maximum dose yet but they certainly ease it for me. So as Justine suggested, ask (demand?) for stronger pain relief.
Take care and I will be thinking of you,
Dette xxx
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Hi Maria,
sorry to hear of your trials and worries and I must agree with Dette, demand some strong pain medication. There is no point in any of us being non-functional due to pain, tell them what YOU need to get through each day, not what the ideal is.
Regards
Cheryl
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