Hi Maria
It sounds like you are having a rough time of it. I also had intense bone and joint pain which panadol didn't even touch. The pain from Taxol (I think it is of the same family as taxotere) was bearable but when I started on zometa it was a whole new world of pain! Ask for stronger pain killers if the ones you are taking don't do enough. Try to keep in mind that this will end, your chemo is not forever.
As Annie said, nobody can tell you the best path to take and you need to make that decision with your medical team, but do consider the long term gain - not just the short term pain. I can say that radiotherapy was not so bad, mostly it was inconvenient as it is every day. As far as tamoxifin goes I have had no problems with it at all. I know some have a terrible time but for me I didn't notice any changes or side effects. My hot flushes and skin issues have actually subsided since I started taking it though that may just be a timing coincidence!
As for being short tempered - well I think that happens to the best of us!! My "chemo rage" was especially bad if I had steroids (dexamethasone) but I think I might overly sensitive to them. Your body is being put through an awful lot and the tiredness on top of all the drugs and just the stress of the situation and treatment all adds up. That doesn't help I know but try not to be too hard on yourself.
Take care
Justine