Time to admit defeat in the workplace?

Went in to Centrelink today to apply as dad’s carer. The case officer suggested I should register for disability myself and my husband apply as carer for both myself and dad who has bone Mets from prostate cancer. We have been living for 8 years on a line of credit and getting deeper and deeper in debt with no government aid.

This has made me very depressed as until now I considered myself healed from breast cancer and able to function on my own and perhaps get a job soon but as things are, I think I need to accept I will never be the same.

I get lymphedema in my main left arm and should not lift anything heavier than 5kg with it for the rest of my life. I get tired a lot and my energy levels leave me quickly even though I take multivitamins every day. I had a blood test 2 weeks ago, to see if there is any reason for my lethargy but the doctor couldn’t pin point anything.

I get hot flushes all the time while I am on Tamoxifen which I need to take for minimum 2 years. The flushes always hit the lymphedema arm first which is like pins in my skin and work across my chest sometimes down my back as well. My body feels like it is going to internally combust and this happens for 5 to 10 minutes sometimes hourly. I have a flush before I go to bed, and immediately upon waking with a few while I am sleeping which means I have a fan on me at all times and no bedcovers at all. It is very debilitating.

I have also developed a blockage in the back of my left eye which blocks my vision from time to time but which the optometrist specialist can offer no remedy except to observe.

The Tamoxifen also gives me bone pains and I have to really focus and be careful going down stairs as my legs crack and my knees don’t have much flexibility at times.

My mental aptitude also seems to be affected and I have to concentrate hard to remember easy things like my own phone number. I am fine in daily things I have done for decades like cooking the family dinner but anything more difficult like filling in applications is very difficult for me. My husband does most all the house cleaning.

The Centrelink case worker gave me a bunch of forms to fill in and I am supposed to register online as looking for work and then apply for disability. I have not had paid income since before I was married in 1990. I am now 54 years old. I have no idea how to apply online and I just feel like such an absolute failure and burden I break down in private to tears. It’s rare I show it to anyone especially my husband and my doctor as I like to put on a brave front but I am finding it difficult to hide.

Writing used to be my strong suit but nowadays I wonder if I am rabbiting on like a mad woman. I fear I may be becoming one.

primek
Member
9 years ago
You can go back and get help with forms and tell them you aren't sure how to do this online.

It's no shame and once done it might prove a huge relief to all of you to get this sorted. It doesn't mean things won't improve and change.

Ongoing stress impacts so much on our energy and ability to think plan and do things. It may well be making your recovery so much harder.

It may be time again to discuss this with your Dr. I know my stress years back caused awful fatigue and it took a lot of work to recover from. I was just on that recovery road when bc struck and pulled the rug out from under me. I am slowly rebuilding my life and determined I will revover to the new normal me, just got to figure out what that is.

Best of luck with the forms. Take care. Kath x
Zoffiel
Member
9 years ago
Oh Brenda, this is the side society doest see. It's one thing to give us the resources to 'fight' our disease, but if you don't come out the other end fit enough to sneak back into the workforce and pass for well, watch out.

Advice about how to fill in the forms is very handy, I'm sure, but we live in an age where our esteemed leaders are more than happy to imply, or out right state, that anyone who is not 'pulling their weight' should be subjected to relentless scrutiny lest they have made a lifestyle choice to live in pain and grinding poverty.

I'm not getting any government assistance --which is fine, I've worked hard and saved some money so I understand I need to be down to nothing before I qualify for help. For me, it will be the ritual humiliation of Newstart if I can't get back to work by June. Yes, I can get an exemption to avoid some of the more punitive clauses for a couple of months, but the reality is I simply can not see myself being well enough to be able to earn enough to live on in the foreseeable future.

It's terrifying and depressing and seriously makes me wonder if my second choice of just having some surgery and hormone therapy and taking my chances would not have been a smarter thing to do than subject myself to treatment that may stigmitise me for life.
socoda
Member
9 years ago
Brenda, if it's any consolation I have tried to set-up centre link accounts for both my mum and a friend of mine and then link services to them and each time I have tried there have been issues with the website that have stuffed the while thing up -all I've managed to do initially is increase my blood pressure and my swearing output for the day!! So don't feel like a failure I'm sure that some of these areas are set up to cause frustration so people give up. Can you get assistance from your gp with the forms or possibly go to someone like the salvo's setting up the online area? There is absolutely no shame in asking for help. https://www.humanservices.gov.au/customer/enablers/online-account-guides-and-video-demonstrations here is a link to videos showing how to set up your online account. If you want to try it and if you have any problems doing it we can try and assist you from the forum. It might take a bit longer but I'm sure we can work it out for you. Big hugs lovely, just remember you are not a failure or a burden. You support soooooo many people both on here and in your day to day life, you are a valuable asset to both areas. Xx Cath
Zoffiel
Member
9 years ago
OK. I've had my walk and a couple of cups of tea and calmed down a bit. Sorry for the rant but this is a subject that really gets me aerated.
People with chronic illness can easily slip through the welfare cracks, particularly if they don't qualify for or are reluctant to apply for disability benefits. I'm not disabled, but when I start applying for jobs again I have a duty of disclosure to a potential employee and my reduced capacity will effectively make me a liability in some ways until I get back on my feet. That's assuming I can get back on my feet and I don't find myself, a bit like Brenda, with such a collection of issues --none of which are insurmountable on their own--that I don't feel I can sell myself with confidence. Harsh, but the job market is a zoo.
Sadly, without a more understanding and flexible safety net, I can see me being a regular and less than impressed visitor to the My Gov site, constantly updating details that will change again by the end of the reporting period.
Once again, sorry if my negative attitude makes you wince. I prefer to consider it realistic and I'm more likely to turn up to a stoush with the fury of the Valkyries than pictures of kittens.
brightspace
Member
9 years ago
Hi Brenda
big ((huggs)) sounds like you you need some rainbow time!
What centre link has asked you to do online is a big ask if you have not done this before.
Make an appointment to go through the forms required and the miriad of details that need to be entered ...
Your vision issue would be the reason you need assistance.
Good luck B
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
Oh Brenda! I hear you, when I was going through Chemo and had to stop working due to how severely ill I was, Centrelink were NOT helpful! They said I had to wait about 11 weeks before they would help, and deemed Id have to spend about $10,000 of my own money before they would give me sick benefits. It was a shocking time!! I had no sick leave and wasnt being paid, I couldnt access super. Im a single parent too. It wasnt until I finished chemo I found one of my Superannuations had a component in it, it was so much paperwork but so worth it. They approved and backdated it eventhough it was 90 day waiting period I still came up ok. Im on it til Jan 2018, Im working 3 days and they pay the other 2 days, up to 65% of my full time salary, but will have to think about changing jobs as I cant rehabilitate back into what Im doing, its physically ridiculous! but I have to work.

Centrelink need a kick up the butt!! they say ring, dont come in but honestly its a nightmare, so Brenda I would march in and say you need HELP!!!! I too have thought about the Disability pension,but id have to be severe to not work at all, and I dont want to do nothing. Hugs xo
SoldierCrab
Member
9 years ago
hi Brenda
Please dont allow them to bully you into trying to do it yourself they are actually paid to help you with the computer for signing up for an online account with them.... I have several times been brought to tears by Centrelink but I know my rights and I have requested assistance...

YOU are valuable you are precious you are unique and we love you and support you
hugs
Alice
Jane221
Member
9 years ago
Dealing with Centrelink at any time is an absolute nightmare and sometimes I feel like their "improvements" only makes things more difficult for most people, but especially for those who are going through an extremely stressful time. I'd agree about going in and asking for help to fill out the forms, as although it can be a long wait, it is far preferable to trying to get hold of someone sensible on the phone and then battling through the instructions. I think it also helps for them to meet you in person and to get a better sense of your situation. Hopefully you will find a sympathetic soul who can talk you through your options and what sort of support might work best for you. They may even be able to assist with supporting you into the workplace, if that is what you want, or are able to do - there are job placement providers that specialise in doing just that. Hugs, Jane xx
Karenhappyquilt
Member
9 years ago
Despite everything believe me you still write beautifully.

In addition to the other good advice I suggest you also write or call your Federal MP and complain that in your circumstances including the horrid chemo brain, you need help filling in your forms and what can they suggest and arrange to help you. Depending on your electorate, this might produce good results.

Also try writing to the various federal Minsiters responsible for social services, link to their details here http://www.australia.gov.au/directories/australia/portfolio/social-services. I used to be a public servant, sometimes letters of complaint produce results, sometimes they don't. The Government has had criticism of how it's managed Centrelink recently and so may be sensitive about Centrelink issues, so this approach may be productive.

I am guessing you and your husband have contributed a great deal to Australia over your life times and I feel social services are there to provide you with support when you need it. Being in a poor financial situation is not going to make it easier for you to regain good health. Getting this sorted may help you in more than financial ways.

Fatigue, lympodema and chemo brain are very common and dreadful side effects of breast cancer treatment. This web site has many entries about the problems we have with tamoxifen. You are not week or lazy or silly. You are a brave woman, probably far too stoic and are no doubt used to helping others rather than for asking for help for yourself. You are not a failure, you are strong and a heroine, even though it may not feel like that.

No one aged 54 grew up with computers, so of course it's not easy to fill things in on line. Even those who are used to computers find these forms difficult. You need a bright teenager/young university student to help. Do you know one?

I hope Centrelink does help but in case they don't, these are my suggestions.

Best wishes and good luck Karen
Alpal
Member
9 years ago
@Brenda5, you are an amazing woman. Caring for your lovely Dad and having to cope with all the difficulties being thrown at you. All I can do is offer you a big, virtual hug xx <3