Time to admit defeat in the workplace?

Went in to Centrelink today to apply as dad’s carer. The case officer suggested I should register for disability myself and my husband apply as carer for both myself and dad who has bone Mets from prostate cancer. We have been living for 8 years on a line of credit and getting deeper and deeper in debt with no government aid.

This has made me very depressed as until now I considered myself healed from breast cancer and able to function on my own and perhaps get a job soon but as things are, I think I need to accept I will never be the same.

I get lymphedema in my main left arm and should not lift anything heavier than 5kg with it for the rest of my life. I get tired a lot and my energy levels leave me quickly even though I take multivitamins every day. I had a blood test 2 weeks ago, to see if there is any reason for my lethargy but the doctor couldn’t pin point anything.

I get hot flushes all the time while I am on Tamoxifen which I need to take for minimum 2 years. The flushes always hit the lymphedema arm first which is like pins in my skin and work across my chest sometimes down my back as well. My body feels like it is going to internally combust and this happens for 5 to 10 minutes sometimes hourly. I have a flush before I go to bed, and immediately upon waking with a few while I am sleeping which means I have a fan on me at all times and no bedcovers at all. It is very debilitating.

I have also developed a blockage in the back of my left eye which blocks my vision from time to time but which the optometrist specialist can offer no remedy except to observe.

The Tamoxifen also gives me bone pains and I have to really focus and be careful going down stairs as my legs crack and my knees don’t have much flexibility at times.

My mental aptitude also seems to be affected and I have to concentrate hard to remember easy things like my own phone number. I am fine in daily things I have done for decades like cooking the family dinner but anything more difficult like filling in applications is very difficult for me. My husband does most all the house cleaning.

The Centrelink case worker gave me a bunch of forms to fill in and I am supposed to register online as looking for work and then apply for disability. I have not had paid income since before I was married in 1990. I am now 54 years old. I have no idea how to apply online and I just feel like such an absolute failure and burden I break down in private to tears. It’s rare I show it to anyone especially my husband and my doctor as I like to put on a brave front but I am finding it difficult to hide.

Writing used to be my strong suit but nowadays I wonder if I am rabbiting on like a mad woman. I fear I may be becoming one.

onemargie
Member
9 years ago
Hey there brenda what a shitty time your having. The system pisses me off too. Centrelink love to pass the buck and lose forms and lately accuse innocent people of fraud. I like you and many of us didn't have the luxury of income protection etc. we couldn't claim any of my super as i was not classed as terminal. Couldn't get sickness benefit as my husband earns to much (the threshold is bloody ridiculous) so he has worked so so hard to keep our heads above water. I have given serious thought to staring a charity for people like yourself to offfer financial support and to those who can't take advantage of the welfare system. But I looked like a massive pain in the arse and I might look at a go find me page instead If I lived closer to you I'd happily help you fill out your forms. I work in a GP clinic normally as a nurse and have helped many to complete them so maybe you can see if you can make an appointment with your gp and the nurse and get them done. I print every detail of the patients chart that's relevant as it's all there in front of me and always take a copy in case it goes missing. Then the patient sees the dr so he can compete his part Also speak to your dr about getting some community nursing support to help you at home with your dad and yourself. Ask for help it's totally fine. Thinking of you. Hugs margie xx
Polly_Rose
Member
9 years ago
Hi Brenda. I understand your frustration with Centrelink but there are a few things that may help you. If you need to set up an online account, then it can be done with the assistance of a worker in the office( most offices have internet available for clients) or at home with phone support. They can walk you through step by step from setting up your " myGov" account right through to linking services (eg Medicare Centrelink or the TaxOffice) and even where to find and fill in the necessary documents. As it is all logged electronically, there is less chance that things will get " lost" like it did for you Dad and you have a record of what you sent and when. If all of this still seems overwhelming, then perhaps you could ask to see one of the Centrelink social workers. They are able to spend more time with you to help work out what is really going to be best for you and your family. I hope this all makes sense at this time of night. Good luck with it all. Polly
Scooper
Member
9 years ago
Dear Brenda - I have read all your posts and I know what a lovely and caring and kind person you are. You are not a mad woman. Centrelink is not very user friendly. I had so much trouble when trying to organise stuff for my mum and dad. OMG. Do you have extended family that can help you. Just a thought maybe you could go to your local federal member and see if they could help you. The social worker at the hospital. Don't be off put by them telling you that you need to apply on line. That is not correct. Not everyone has the computer skills or even a computer to do this. This disease and on going medication certainly knocks us around more that anyone could ever imagine. You and your husband deserve help before you go into total financial meltdown. Just a word of advice. Photocopy anything you hand over to Centrelink. Most important. Take care Brenda. xxxx
SoldierCrab
Member
9 years ago
Ah @Brenda5 you know that it is the stress of all this bl**dy crap that Cancer serves up to us.... be Gentle on yourself and it will get done. ONE step at a time
hugs and energy sent to you
Alice
Brenda5
Member
9 years ago
Went in to Centrelink this morning with hubby and got the same helpful lady who helped hubby with some of the forms and then handed over a bunch more forms to take home and fill in. Gee the govt doesn't half like chopping down trees for a paper trail. Nap when I got home. I am only good for about 2 hours out before I succumb to yawning my head off. I had 8 hours in bed last night and obviously it still wasn't enough, sheesh!
SoldierCrab
Member
9 years ago
OH Brenda you are entitled to have a rant, centrelink are a merry go round none of us like to deal with.
I want to encourage you I felt I wouldn't get work to fit in with my health situation now... Guess what someone I know approached me and asked would I work part time from home for them .... taking their calls while they do the hard yakka so to speak.... I am really enjoying it and I feel my brain is getting a bit of a work out again... it is only 5 hrs per week but it suits my situation as I am Carer to my 2 sons with ASD and epilepsy and Look after my independent mum who has dementia....
I never expected someone to approach me. Get the Centrelink stuff done and you never know you might just stumble across work that will be fit with your health situation also....
It sure is a stressor our continuing health after BC
hugs and energy
Alice
Brenda5
Member
9 years ago
I know about paperwork sliding in to cracks. Dad applied 3 weeks ago for rent assistance which he is entitled to. We went in to chase that up and there was nothing lodged. We had kept a photocopy of the original form. The Centrelink lady this time rang up the powers that be and did a copy of the copy and put it in an express post bag while we sat there. Hopefully some wheels are slowly turning?

Sorry for such a rant the other night. I just hadn't realised I don't have much hope of ever being able to do the things I used to or get a job. From the pinnacle of my success in speaking about property investing at seminars and being on TV about it to sitting at home doing nothing much apart from face book and jigsaw puzzles its like a rooster one day and a feather duster the next. I was just feeling sorry for myself. I'll get used to my new life I guess. I doubt I could ever renovate a house again, my arm just cannot work like it used to without swelling consequences. Early retirement is not as easy as its made out to be.

I will keep you all posted on how we go with the Centrelink merry go round. Perhaps it might help others in a similar situation?
cranky_granny
Member
9 years ago
Good luck with it all.
Like Iserbrown said get all the documents to take, there is usually a check list and have them with you and there will be a form for your Dr to fill in as well. but get a centrelink approved Drs certificate if you can as well, then you wont have to job search, Centrelink staff are not bad just are not allowed to tell you what you can have, I have learnt to pose the questions right and they are usually very helpful if not you get their name my trick has always been "honey catches more flys" i try to stay calm. I did have a bad problem once and I asked for a social worker as it was all too sensitive found out later he was special???
Oh and copy everything you hand them and put dates etc on it paper slides into cracks there. If you do it on line it gives you a receipt but it can be confusing.
iserbrown
Member
9 years ago
Brenda you have laid it all out on the table. Living as you are at present is not healthy emotionally and a drain on the finances. Read through the forms and gather up the supporting documents and toddle back to Centrelink. I helped my mother in law with her paperwork so when we had our toddle to Centrelink they were happy to help us as we were prepared. Take care
Alpal
Member
9 years ago
@Brenda5, you are an amazing woman. Caring for your lovely Dad and having to cope with all the difficulties being thrown at you. All I can do is offer you a big, virtual hug xx <3