Mastectomy and reconstruction tomorrow...trying not to freak out

Options
Vivianna
Vivianna Member Posts: 23
Its exhausting, all of the tests, fertility preservation went well yesterday, they managed to get 11 eggs! Ive got my fingers crossed that there will be some survivors out of this batch, I know I'm strong but I can't do that again...71 injections/cannulations to date. It's suppose to get easier right? Im still waiting for it to. The most exhausting part is trying to keep it together for everyone else, especially my hubby. Im living a world made partly of quiet optimisim/depression/denial, hubby said to me he's waiting for me to fall apart and thinks it will happen once ive finally had the mastectomy... I don't really know what to think or how to feel about this? I really don't have any spheres of reference...im just trying to keep positive and only focus on one step at a time. I am a bit worried that Im having the mastectomy tomorrow but still haven't got an oncologist yet, probably should check on that! Anyway, hopefully things will go well tomorrow ❤
«13

Comments

  • Hopes_and_Dreams
    Hopes_and_Dreams Member Posts: 760
    Options
    OMG, you should be so proud of yourself!!! Having gone thru IVF I know the emotional roller coaster you are on, but you did that with a needle phobia and breast cancer surgery ahead of you too.  And what a great result getting 11 eggs. That gives you really good odds to get a good fertilisation and thaw rate
  • Hopes_and_Dreams
    Hopes_and_Dreams Member Posts: 760
    Options
    sorry, lost half of my post....
    You must be feeling numb heading into surgery, but it is a positive day - you are one step closer to being cancer free!  I think we go into survival mode to do all we need to.  
    It really is just one step at a time and not looking too far ahead.  You will cope with what is right for you, breakdown or not.  Just do what you need to to get through this.
    I had my first tears and breakdown when the surgeon called into hospital to give me the good pathology report.  Everything had been held in til then and it was just complete relief.  When I called my husband FaceTime with the news I was still crying so poor thing thought the worst!
    Wishing you all the best for your surgery tomorrow.  You will be taking all our positive thoughts with you.  When you can, let us know how you are doing.  Sending a hug, Jane xx



  • Butterfly 40
    Butterfly 40 Member Posts: 150
    Options
    Hi Vivianna,

    You are a very brave beautiful young woman and you have done very well so far. We are all in an emotional roller coaster, there are highs and lows. It's ok to fall apart at some point, we can pull ourself up and keep going. 

    I wish you the best and good luck with your surgery and recovery! 

    My heart and thought will be with you tomorrow!

    Lots of love and hugs for you!
  • nikkid
    nikkid Member Posts: 1,766
    Options
    Thinking of you tomorrow Vivianna...one day at a time :). Take care
  • Michelle_R
    Michelle_R Member Posts: 901
    Options
    This weekend it will all be over and you will be recuperating instead of worrying.  Do hope all goes smoothly for you and wish you all the best for your recovery.xx
  • socoda
    socoda Member Posts: 1,767
    Options
    Hi Vivianna, While the day itself looms as being scary as hell, in reality it should be a day of celebration!! You get rid of active cancer - too good!! I think I actually cried more in the lead up to the surgery than I did once I had had it. And you may not go down the meltdown path - sometimes you're simply a bit too numb and it seems all too unreal. Anyway, wishing you all the best for a successful, smooth op. Don't worry about not having an oncologist yet, the hospital and your team will get all of that together and will send you along with your oncologists name and just like magic your oncologist will appear and introduce themselves to you and they will have been filled in on you, your situation and results. All the best, will be thinking of your and sending happy healing vibes. Xx Cath
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,606
    Options
    Wishing you all the best for surgery tomorrow.  What a great effort 11 eggs!  Knowing they are there for the future is fab!  Oncologist will happen!  Just take a deep breath, yes it's a so and so losing a breast but the alternative is worse!  You will come through well!  Let's face it you've got all of us on here willing you along!
    Take care and let us know how you are going from time to time xx  
  • kayvie
    kayvie Member Posts: 157
    Options
    Wishing you all the best for surgery tomorrow. You have come so far already by taking it moment by moment and 11 eggs for the future is great. Remember to breathe and you will realise you are stronger than you think you are! We are all here to support you.....you can do this!! :)
  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392
    Options
    Fantastic on the 11 eggs! I too cried more before but was much better after. I didn't cry again until after my oncology appointment. ..that is when "it's really happening" moment hit me. It was while waiting for my pre treatment muga scan that I started crying. I knew I was going to have chemo from the start but it still hits you. Had a couple more after that and especially morning of chemo...but managed to suck it up, plant on a smile and march in there. ..lets to this. F....k cancer ...you're going.

    Keeping busy helps us carry on. You're  doing great. Hope surgery goes smoothly for you. Kath x
  • Vivianna
    Vivianna Member Posts: 23
    Options
    Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts! We just got the call today that out of the 11 viable eggs only 2 made it to the frozen stage...im trying really hard not to get too down, we only wanted 2 kids so im praying my hardest that they will have no problems defrosting them. I know its silly bit it feels like we lost 9 dreams today
  • Hopes_and_Dreams
    Hopes_and_Dreams Member Posts: 760
    Options
    I am so very sorry Vivianna, I do understand how you feel. There is a real sense of loss when you lose embryos. Only the healthiest survive so take heart in knowing you have two strong little fighters waiting for you. You have done the best you can x
    Wishing you a restful night, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.  Jane xx

  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392
    edited January 2017
    Options
    Thinking of you <3:'(  
  • lmurray
    lmurray Member Posts: 8
    Options
    Phew I remember the night before. It was scary. Here I am though the sux months later. It's sped by. I worried I didn't have an oncologist too. Everything happens so fast.   They will decide if you need one afterwards.  All I can say is the first few days physically are the worst but you do heal. You just need someone that you can fall apart in front of and know you don't have to hold it tigers the whole time.  It's fucking hard!! Sorry for swearing but it's a mental mind f---k.  I will be wishing you all the very best for your recovery. Xx 
  • mum2jj
    mum2jj Member Posts: 4,332
    Options
    Wishing you all the best for tomorrow. You have those two little eggs waiting if needed. I understand your pain having had fertility treatment in the past. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. 
    Paula xxxx
  • RNSW
    RNSW Member Posts: 121
    Options
    Hi Vivianna,
    This is such an exhausting & emotional roller coaster. We are stronger than we ever knew before and we can only do the best we can.
    The day I went for my first chemo my mum said to me to go with my head up and to walk with courage. I have ro say those words have helped me alot.
    Wishing you the very best for your surgery tomorrow & for the future.
    Thinking of you
    Rita xo