BAD NEWS PLEASE HELP ABSOLUTELY DISTRAUGHT

Sam09Sam09 Member Posts: 133
Hi   I posted yesterday and  today received devastating news that my her 2 ER positve breast cancer has gone to my liver.Please  does anyone have this and can anyone tell me am I going to die quickly can I get my life insurance so I can bring my children back from overseas. I am numb.Can I live or is this it?  What treatment can I expect to be offered to me. Thank you for reading my post. 
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Comments

  • Tracey62Tracey62 Gold CoastMember Posts: 298
    Hello Sam, ohh I feel for you, what shocking news to receive and how it sends your thinking into a head spin. There are many women on here who have lived with mets for many years, you are not alone. Your horrible news does not mean it's all over, there is a lot that can be done to help you. Your team will advise you what your options are. But this is Friday afternoon and help can seem so far away. It might help to talk to someone, at least over the phone.

     Try the BCNA number 1800 500 258, and ask if they have a telephone support service. If not, the Cancer Council has a helpline for those times when you really need someone to talk to. Their number is 13 11 20.

    we are always here for you to chat online, but there is something so reassuring about offloading your fears to a warm, caring voice on the phone. Do keep in touch and let us know how you go. Sending you hugs, Tracey xXx
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 4,292
    @Sam09 I am sorry about this devastating news. But the good news is that herceptin does a great job of controlling this and there is also another drug they give as well when metastatic. My breast care nurse told me at the beginning of my journey of a patient who had liver mets....11 years on with this treatment...no change in her mets.  There  is hope. There is life...and very probably a long one. Nobody can predict our futures but know your team will do everything to give you the best treatment available. Kath x
  • rowdyrowdy Member Posts: 1,165
    Hi Sam sorry about your bad news the ladies have given you good advice. There is also a group on here try and join I'm sure there will lots of support there. Take a deep breath it is a huge shock treatment has come a long way and take any support you can get xxx
  • Jess_BCNAJess_BCNA BCNAMember Posts: 476
    Hi there @Sam09 - Just wanted to jump in to say hello and to let you know that the online network is here to support you. As mentioned by rowdy, there is a group in the network for women living with metastatic breast cancer, that when you can, you might like to also connect with, http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/2-living-with-metastatic-breast-cancer. As Tracey mentioned, sometimes it can be helpful to chat to someone over the phone for some additional support, the cancer council have a telephone line that offers some over the phone support, the number is 13 11 20. We also have a free resource pack called hope and hurdles that we can send out to you, if its is something you might like to have a look at, you can find it here https://www.bcna.org.au/resource/kits/hope-hurdles/. If you need any help with the network or finding information and support, please just let me know.
  • Brenda5Brenda5 Burrum Heads, QldMember Posts: 1,971
    Not panic stations just yet. There are treatments available to put the liver mets in check. Only get worried if the meds aren't working. I am not sure how life insurance works but you may be able to access your superannuation if you have some with a hardship letter from centerlink? Take a few breaths. You will get through this and we're here for you any time. <3
  • InkPetalInkPetal You are valuable, beautiful, extraordinary.Member Posts: 487
    I see a lot of stress there.
    It must be so frightening.

    Your mind can't maintain that high-alert stress mode without damaging your health all over. 
    Spare a few moments a day to take some slow controlled inhale and exhales. 

    Inhale to 4, exhale to 4. Inhale to 6, exhale to 6. Inhale to 8, exhale to 8. Inhale to 8, exhale to 8.

    Let your day have a few moments for your body to be loose in, to let that tension drop away before it knots in your muscles and starts to exhaust you. 
    I really don't mean to sound patronising if I do, I'm not in your situation, but this has genuinely helped me in high-stress situations along the way.

    Please keep us updated with how you're feeling and what is happening if you can find the time or energy.
  • ScooperScooper Member Posts: 113
    Hi Sam.  I am very sorry to hear this news.  Yes it is devastating.  I was convinced I was going to die quickly when I received my metastatic news.  I had been having mammagrams every two years and that picked up nothing.  I had surgery to my cervical spine when they told me they found a tumour and they thought it was breast cancer.  My world was tipped upside down.  I have ER/PR+ HER2- so my treatment consists of Letrozole and Xvega.  I am not certain what your treatment will involve.  I hope that you have a great team looking after you.  It is all so overwhelming and crappy.  Do what you have to get through the next few months.  If staying home is what is good for you do it, if staying in bed is good for you do it, if being in denial is good for you do it..  Join the metastatic group on the BCNA network.  Try not to read Dr. Google (says me).  I am thinking of you and everyone else that is dealing with crap.
    Love Sandra xxxxx
  • sammy1970sammy1970 Member Posts: 27
    Dear sam believe me you can do this I have secondary breast bone cancer for 4years I was soo scared and still are but I just live the treatments they have know are amazing I think as time goes on we just have to learn we have this horrible disease believe me I feel exactly as you but ha we can do it I pray every night I have an amazing breast nurse who is my best support 

  • sammy1970sammy1970 Member Posts: 27
    Thinking of you stay beautiful lady I will be thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxx
  • angg66angg66 Melbourne VicMember Posts: 156
    Hi there @sam09. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I also have liver (& bone) mets. I was diagnosed in April this year, so I understand how upsetting it is when you are first told - I was petrified and cried for a few weeks. So give yourself time to cry. But the best thing I did was speak to a counsellor and am now getting on with life. There are lots of ladies on this site that understand what you are going through. You are not alone. 

    Ange xxx



  • Sam09Sam09 Member Posts: 133
    Thank you so much all of you beautiful ladies. I just cant understand and get my head around this but I have to. I see my oncologist in the morning and will find out more. I opted seven months ago when diagnosed to have the surgery but no further treatment.  So I guess I told you so may be coming to me and I deserve this I wanted to pretend I was not sick but lost this war now......This monday I felt on such a high seeing my surgeon and getting the thumbs up then Friday learning mets were in my liver. Yesterday I suddenly got an exhaustion I have never felt, I got up went running felt great then in the afternoon I could not walk and I had to go to bed. This is not me.... I felt such fear and dread actually terror cursing through my body. Maybe it was the shock and stress as I am so dizzy and cannot eat anything and at 45 kilos I have to.
    I just have to pull myself together but I have this feeling I have to hurry to write things down so my daughter and husband know how to do things that I do. Maybe this is an inbuilt mechanism in me like instinct.  You have helped me greatly all of you and I feel comfort from your words. Sammy1970 are we able to email each other or talk perhaps I think it would help me a great deal. I have not spoken to my 2 sisters for 14 years over the silliest things and feel so sad when I wrote a letter telling them of my illness but got nothing back. I would have liked to settle silly differences just for peace of mind. I need to fight this and I do want to live but Doctor Google tells me Her2 is agressive and when I read the percentages the fear rises again. But hugz to all that have said comforting words to me please know I truly appreciate it and feel I am not alone .  :) 
  • Sam09Sam09 Member Posts: 133
    Angg66 
    Are you able to tell me what treatments I can expect to be offered and the side effects. I think knowing a little information before I go may help me make an informed decision. Do you feel good?

  • sammy1970sammy1970 Member Posts: 27
    Dear sam I'm in the same sitituion with two fighting and I'm in between and my family don't want to talk about it it's great if we could message I'm not good with technology I'm actually seeing my oncoligis Tuesday still get sooo scared my tumor markers are rising and bone scan in January but ha we can all fight this I thought I would never come to terms with it but we have to for ourselves and I relying on treatments to keep it going for years we all can do this together hope to hear from you seen thinking of you and don't forget you live years with this and say a pray every night love you
  • PamelamaryPamelamary Member Posts: 213
    Dear Sam,
    I have been living with liver and bone mets for 4 1/2 years. Dr. Google gave me 8 months (!) so I know the panic you are currently feeling. Like you, I am Her2+ and ER+. While Her2 is considered aggressive, there are now a number of targeted therapies available which have meant far better outcomes for us. 
    Everybody's treatment and response is different, but I had a course of chemo (Docetaxol) to shrink the mets, which worked pretty well. Since then I have been on Herceptin and Tamoxifen with relatively few side effects - stable now for 4 years. You will probably get Perjeta as well as the Herceptin as it is now standard of care for mets.
    I hope you can work with your doctors to find an effective treatment plan - there is a lot of hope and support out there.
    Best wishes..... Pam
  • Ann-MarieAnn-Marie Member Posts: 1,158
    Hi @Sam09 please give BCNA a call tomorrow on 1800 500 258 (thank you @Brenda5 ) we have a telephone service that is there for you to use.
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