First post, can't believe this is happening
So just got out of hospital yesterday, 2 weeks after finding out the lump I found was breast cancer. The freeloaders have been removed and I'm waiting again for more results. The waiting is excruciating - I just want to know what's going on.
I've never done blogs or anything before, I don't do social media or anything but just don't know what to do and thought maybe this will help. So many people have been so kind but only a few know what it's like - unfortunately those few friends who have also been through it. I take a lot of comfort knowing that they have all gotten through it but just can't believe it's happening to me. What happened? How? why?? I'm classed as young, still in my 40's (for a few more years anyway), kids are still at school, so much to do. Then this massive damn mountain appears on the path, and I'm climbing like mad already. I'm strong and positive, and everyone tells me that I'll tackle it like only I can, but the worries are still there, and I get so scared sometimes.
Oh well, the wait continues, surgeon will contact me as soon as the results are in and I'll be seeing her on Thursday to find out what happens next. But I'm off to get a fabulous haircut on Wednesday first - if I'm going through this, I'm going to at least have great hair! And If it falls out, at least there's less to lose!
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Hi welcome to the site, I think everyone feels the same as you it can't be happening to me, it is always someone else. Take it one day at a time I'm 2 years since being diagnosed. I ended up having to have a mastectomy and chemo rough trip but now hopefully on the other side. The worry will always be there but life goes on. Life keeps sending us stuff, I have just started to settle back at work and finally my head is in a better place and I'm sitting here with a bung knee,( hopefully work care will cover) I need to have surgery and it terrifies me because of what I have already been through. Hang in there and visit often this site has helped me share the good and the bad, we have all been where you are now.
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Hi thete
Sorry to hear you are struggling with all this. You ARE young so I understand that you need more answers. I am glad you got onto this forum quickly. It is terrific to seek and to receive reassurance and support from people who know what it is like to struggle with Breast Cancer. Everyone's story and treatment is different but there are common points to which we all can relate. I didn't seek out the forum for over a year but I was getting depressed with the lack of understanding of those close to me. After I unloaded my worries on this forum I received such love and support that my anxiety lifted.
So use all of us as often as you need to. It is good to write things down and when you get answers from those in similar situations it does help.
Best wishes
Jenny
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Hi
I know how you are feeling, of course your scared me too, like its a dream?! Is this really happening? I had my op on 21 April, specialist told me yesterday due to the grade 3, triple receptor factor (didn't reach the glands) that chemo/radiation was recommended for best outcome because it's an aggressive little monster, I take comfort that they have come a long way in tackling bc but im constantly still asking why? How? When? Wtf! People tell me to be strong be positive - yes but it's a roller coaster ride too, it's good to have these blogs to seek each other out for support & advise, keep strong, let me know your results, whatever it is it will all be okay, we will come out on the other side stronger women, Sophie x
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Take someone with you for the appointment. If you have questions in your mind now, write them down and ask when you go. Ask for a copy of the results. If the surgeon doesn't want to be bothered giving you a copy, ask your GP to print it off for you. There is a section on bcna on how to decipher test results. Just mouse over the heading understanding breast cancer and it will give you a drop down box.
Be on your guard. When I got my results (a week earlier than scheduled and I thought it was just a quick wound inspection) it said I had lymph node involvement and the surgeon had already booked me in for a second surgery (unbeknownst to me) to remove all my underarm lymph nodes. It was a massive shock to me. I still have no idea how I got through that day. Thank Heaven I had my husband with me.
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I know what you mean... I felt the same - I am 44 and with rubbish health all I could think was "Seriously? The big guy upstairs felt I needed yet another challenge?!"
Mine is grade 3 so means it is bloody agressive as it can get and even tough techmically I am stage 2 as the lymph node was clear and the tumor was 2.5cm in size they did find a 2nd tiny tumor in the margine so seeing there was a 2nd bastard hiding in there chance is there are others and since all I had was lumpectomy so it ia going to be Chemo then radiation then tamoxifen or similar....
I have many other health issues and am allergic to everything under the Sun so they all look at me like a ticking time bomb terrified I will drop dead on them when the Chemo starts so that "why me?" reared its ugly hwad a fair few times for me since my surgery which was on 31st March.
All I can say is I am kind of now resolved to pull through this and prove everyone wrong by not having any adverse reactions once Chemo starts (in 2 weeks) and I reckon I am stubborn enough to make my body comply.
I would also strongly suggest you wrote all your questions down before you meet with the surgeon for the results and have someone there both for support and so that they too listen to the information and if need be remind you to ask your questions and make sure you are comfortable with what the surgeon is advising.
Regardless of how prepared you are and regardless of how good or bad the news is it all is kind of a blur as you will be anxious and that appointment is the best time to ask questions and to make sure they are all answered. You need to completely understand your diagnosis and proposed treatment so having someone there will help.
I think I initially stuffed my self up a bit by being overly peppy and positive and to an extent did not allow myself to ask everything I should have asked as my coping mechnisam was to "not dwell on the bad stuff and be optimistic".
It did stuff me up where I failed to ask sufficient number of questions about the referral I was being given for the Oncologist as did not realise that was moving me out of the public system and the 'team approach' to my treatment. Fortunately for me 2 weeks later when I did see that Oncologist she having taken my history straight away said I was too complicated to go down that path and that the best option for me was the public hospital (due to my complicated health and potential for things to go wrong during Chemo) and that I should be under care of multidisciplinary team and not just an Oncologist. I do wish that I had asked more questions off the surgeon as I honestly did not realise referall given to me meant I would not be getting that as I never would have agreed. Now I have wasted 2 weeks as the oncologist then had to go away to organise my transfer to public and to start consulting with the rest of the panel. Had I asked sufficient questions during my surgeon post-op apppintment I never would have lost that time...
I am so with you - stay positive, have your fabulous haircut (I did the same by the way - decided that if I would lose my hair in a few weeks for God knows how long I was going to look good before that happened) and just take things one day at the time.
The main thing is that the cancer is out of your body now and all you need to concentrate on is getting the best outcome for you. So you make sure you do the right thing for you and allow yourself to feel whichever way you need to feel and remember everyone here has been through it already or is going through it same time as you so if you ever need to vent or bounce ideas off someone this is a great forum...
I have only joined a month ago but from various blogs have learned so much and they have helped me feel more confident and stronger about the whole.process. both the good and the bad of this whome BC thing that everyone is so kindly sharing is helping prepare for every eventuality so things can only go up from here on
Jel.
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Great blog Jel.
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Welcome to the Online Network
You have found the right place to share what you are going through, so I hope from reading the comments below from our wonderful members that you feel a little better.
We are all here for you.
Ann-Marie x
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Hi and welcome to bcna, we're a good bunch here who understand your fears and concerns. It's safe to come here and have a good old vent, it's also a great place to find sound advice and lots of support. Sending you a big cuddle,
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Hi
Yes felt the same way when I was diagnosed!
Had surgery on the 14th April and waited the painful 10 days for the results. Stage 1(not in lymph nodes) grade 3 (aggressive).
So 42 and now up for chemo and radiation!
In same boat as Jel with wanting to know if the Oncologist is the right one for me. Should I go public or private? Will be public for radiation.
So now back to waiting! It is going to be a long year but I am positive!
We are all in this together, and here to support each other. I have found having a chat with women who have already been on this journey helped.
Anyway bring on the scarfs, hot flushes and the tiredness!
Positive vibes being sent your way!
Vx
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Nessieanne, I am vwey happy that the Oncologist corrected the Surgeon's decision to send me outside and moved me back into the 'twam approach'. She is fanulous by the way and has done heaps in the past 2 weeks to consukt with the rest of that team, to chase cardiologists and immunologists so they do their best and mot have me drop dead on them during chemo but the input of other professionals is evident as they have in the past few days had me do various other tests in preparation foe chemo.
From what I am seeing here I reckon team approach works really great so public hospital definitely for me and my risky health... I am still happy to go in as a private patient so they get more funding from my health fund but do think that it is better that more professionals are involved in the trdatmwnt plus rha was that same team will be with me throughout all the stages so radiologist and nurses etc get more familiar with me, my progress and treatments before I progress to radiation
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Hi, having gone through lumpectomy, mastectomy, chemo and now radiotherapy, I actually think one of the most stressful bits was the waiting for results after the lumpectomy. When I was going through chemo, I was given all sorts of drugs (if I needed them) and I couldn't help thinking that I actually needed it more during the 'waiting for results' phase (anxiety, sleeping etc).
I'm 44 with a kid and it was important to me to try 'cold capping' and not lose my hair for my 5-year old (it did work - I've kept hair on my head!).
Also, re comments about public vs private. I went private and have got a multi-disciplinary team looking after me - so it's not just a public thing. Once you know what results are and if you have to do other treatment, you can get more advice on that I'm sure.
Anyway assume you have your results now so hope it is all positive news. By the way, this forum is great for advice.
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