The Beginning
Noooooo, I can't believe I just lost all I had written before it had posted........Aaarrgggggh!!!! Can I be bothered starting again - I'll try.....
Although I have been a member here for a while I have resisted till now about introducing myself & fully utilising this site. I'll also give a brief rundown of when I was diagnosed.
Firstly, my name is Cheryl & I am nearing my 1yr anniversary of my initial diagnosis. I have had a left breast lumpectomy & sential node biopsy, full left breast mastectomy & removal of remaining lymph nodes, 6 courses of chemotherapy & now on 5yrs of hormonal therapy.
I was diagnosed with early stage Breast Cancer on 28th July 2010 at the age of 55, just 5 days before my 56th birthday, after my routine Mammogram at the Breastscreen Van revealed an abnormality that required further investigation. I've been having regular bi-yearly mammograms as my mother was diagnosed in about 1990 & subsequently died Jun 1994 of secondary BC. she was only 58.
I'd just come home from a day out on Friday 24th Jul 2010 to a message on my phone requesting me to ring a certain person at a certain number urgently, neither of which I recognised. I was getting a lot of unsolicited calls at the time & was tempted to just delete it BUT something/someone in my head told me to ring the number back. I'd completely forgotten about my mammogram a week or so earlier, as you do when done, so was unsuspecting.
A lovely lady from BreastScreen "invited" me (gotta love that term LOL) to attend their Adelaide rooms for more tests as an abnormality had been found on the Xrays which they wanted to clarify. The date was set at Wednesday 28th Jul 2010.
I was a little taken aback that the scans had revealed an abnormality but not overly surprised as I had felt a lump a couple months before. As my mammogram was coming up soon I didn't do anything about it as I felt sure it was nothing too serious - putting myself in DENIAL....sound familiar??
So! I arrive at my appointment on the Wednesday, having driven myself down to Adelaide (about 1 1/2hr drive).
After seeing Dr, further Xrays, seeing Dr, Ultrasound & fine needle biopsy (ouch that hurt), seeing Dr & getting diagnosis, options & information, I finally left sometime just before peak hour traffic to start the drive home. There were no tears, no screaming, no nothing - it all felt surreal, like it was happening to someone else and I was the observer. (reading on here I see it's quite a common reaction)
At home that night I was trying to work out how to tell my kids, siblings & father. I told my partner when he got home & I'm not really sure he fully understood the situation, though he vowed to remain with me & support me. (yeah right - he left on the 4th Dec 2010 & I've been alone ever since)
Decided I would tell the kids on the Saturday night after tea but when I went to invite them on the Thursday, my daughter & DIL both demanded to know what was going on as they knew I'd had my mammogram earlier in the month so I was forced to "fess up" before I felt ready, telling them both that night. My eldest & youngest sons were told on the Friday when I could get them both together in the one place. I'd rung my father & rang my sister & remaining brother that night. So now my immediate family knew.
As luck would have it, telling my kids when I did was fortunate, as in the early hours of Saturday morning the 31st July 2010, the kids' stepmother passed away in hospital from secondary breast cancer. I found out when my daughter and her partner rocked up on my doorstep early Sunday morning in another fit of tears. I felt so helpless & guilty at the same time as I held her & comforted her as best I could. The kids got a double whammy that week..... 
So here we are today, my tastebuds are almost normal, I feel for the most part almost normal, and I'm finally admitting to myself & all of you that I DO need help, support & love from others who have or are going through the same journey. Family and friends are great of course but lack that empathy you find from someone who is or has "been there, done that".
Looking forward to spending more time getting to know my fellow "comrades in arms".
Comments
-
Hello Cher, reading your blog brought tears to my eyes,so sad your husband left you at your time of need.and so scarey for you and your kids that your sister in law passed away with this hideous disease.
I was diagnosed last october,and first found this site overwhelming.Now i find it a great help and inspiration,and its great to know there are others out there with the same issues.
i hope you get through this ok and use this site to help you and others its great to give back and offer advice and strength.
take care and good luck with your journey my thoughts are with you.xx
0 -
Hello Cher, reading your blog brought tears to my eyes,so sad your husband left you at your time of need.and so scarey for you and your kids that your sister in law passed away with this hideous disease.
I was diagnosed last october,and first found this site overwhelming.Now i find it a great help and inspiration,and its great to know there are others out there with the same issues.
i hope you get through this ok and use this site to help you and others its great to give back and offer advice and strength.
take care and good luck with your journey my thoughts are with you.xx
0 -
Well we could be twins! I got diagnosed last May and had a left mastectomy just before turning 55. This was second time round for me as 7 years earlier I had a lumpectomy,full node clearance and radiation.Cancer came back in the same breast,same spot.So had to have chemo and am now on Tamoxifen. Got my hair back(different hair!) and my life back now but still getting used to missing a breast.Also don't feel confident about living long despite a clear mammogram last month.But I am lucky to have the support of my husband and 2 grown up girls.It must have been a hard time for you when your partner left-I can't imagine.There are so many lovely ladies on this site and we all help each other.So welcome and blog away!
Tonya
0 -
Hi Annie2,
So nice to meet you. Thankyou for your positive thoughts and yes I am looking forward to finally getting & accepting the help and support I should have sought much earlier through this site. Too darn independant for my own good....LOL
Just to clarify a couple of things though - I have been divorced since 1999 so it was not my spouse who left me but my live-in partner (defacto) who I had living with me for some time who couldn't take the heat plus he was having medical issues of his own at the time. It was actually a huge relief when he finally called it quits as I was beside myself with stress & he wouldn't accept it when I tried to call it. Financially though, it is a nightmare.
Also, it was not my SIL who died of BC, but my ex husband's 2nd wife (my childrens' step-mother) so the kids of course had that double whammy. I didn't know her really well but certainly didn't dislike her as she was always nice.
Looking forward to sharing more times on here with you and others
Cher
0 -
Hi Tonya,
So nice to meet you. Thankyou for your thoughts & so sorry you have had to deal with yet another bout of the dreaded BC. I live in hope not to have to go that route down the track but like anything - nothing is ever a given......
Had to giggle at "your hair" coming back different - I can so relate LOL. My hair is starting to come back - taking it's sweet time BUT I'm not impressed with the colour. I was mid blonde but now it's mousy brown - YUK! and dead straight again....I was hoping for a least a wave or two....
Do you ever get used to not having the breast?? I don't know that you do. I'm having issues with tightness across the wound site up into the underarm which is numb and swelling from lymph fluid that builds up around the side/back and it's making wearing my prothesis a really uncomfortable experience. To be totally honest, I would have preferred they had taken both breasts like I wanted than to deal with this LOPSIDEDNESS & need to wear a prosthesis at all.
Well, rambled on some here so better close. Looking forward to exchanging ideas etc with you and others again on here
Cheryl
0 -
You can't be Tonya's twin - I am!!. We will have to be triplets. We are similar ages with similar stories. This is my second diagnosis - have just finished chemo and am looking to regain my LIFE. I still have both breasts although the affected left breast wants to hide under my armpit due to all the surgery. My radiation oncologist told me that after radiation therapy and chemo that I would be cured. I love him. My surgeon who I saw this week filled out the form for me to have more scans and on it says metatastic bc in the axilla. Scares me to bits that I have a secondary - even if it is in the same area as the initial diagnosis. I will be terrified when I have the scans done - they were all clear before chemo. I told my medical oncologist yesterday that I would not have chemo again. He said never say never. (I never really warmed to him so now I dislike him more!!!) My way of thinking is if they think I might need chemo again then that means they think that this bloody bc might return. Can't bear to think about that but it makes me very on guard. If you let it, it could really do your head in. Please add me as a contact so we can keep the "triplets" in tact. XLeonie
0 -
Are you doing radiotherapy again? What Chemo are you on now? What sort of BC do you have?
(Sorry for questions....)
0
