Its all so new
I'v just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm not really sure how I feel. I found out because of an abnormality at my first screening mammogram. When they called me back to have more checks somehow I knew I was going to get the answer I did. The first few days I was really positive but now, a week later, I'm getting scared more every day. I'm only getting an hours sleep every night & the fact that I already suffer from Chronic Major Depression doesn't help. It also didn't help that I got a letter from Breast Screen saying that my diagnosis had been altered & that I've got no idea what these changes mean. I'm seeing a doctor in the Outpatients Dept of my local hospital next week (which I got because of a cancellation) so in another 6 days I'll know more. I've got absolutely no idea what to expect at this appointment or how long it will take for thing to start happening after that
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Hi Paulan, so sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis. The first few days and weeks can be such a shock and a roller coaster of emotions. I too went through periods of being positive then absolutely terrified when I was diagnosed last October. The first thought I had when I woke up from a few hours sleep each night was "oh, yeah, that's right I have breast cancer." Waiting times for Doctor's appointments and test results were also really difficult. Just take a deep breath. Once you attend your appointment you may find that things will happen very quickly as you'll have a better understanding of what you are dealing with. You can order the My Journey kit from BCNA which has a lot of really useful and reassuring information. I strongly recommend taking someone with you to that appointment so you have an extra set of ears to listen and help ask questions. Write questions down ahead of time if you can and take pen and paper to take notes because sometimes there is a lot of information. Talk to your doctor about your depression and not sleeping. This is a time to marshall all of your resources and support together and your medical team will be a big part of that. I know how scary it can feel. The most important thing is to take it one day at a time. The ladies on this network have been a wonderful support for me, so come on here at any time.
Wishing you all the best, Nadine
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Hi Paulan, the unknown can be so scary. This is a time when you don't know what to expect. Nadine is right, find out as much as you can about your diagnosis, to be armed with knowledge somehow helps to have a framework to hang your confusion on. Does that make any sense? In the early days my mind went wandering down so many "what if" pathways, but all you really have to deal with today is here and now. This is an awful thing to happen to any woman, but you are not alone. As much as its really sad to see so many women living with bc, it's also a huge encouragement to have those women share your experience like no one else can. We are here for you. I hope you can get some rest, amazing how we cope so much better with a good nights sleep, Tracey??
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Hi Paulan,
I just wanted to say hello. My name is Ann-Marie and I am the Online Community Coordinator at BCNA. We are all here to help and support you, so please ask as many questions as you need to.
If there is anything I can do just let me know.
~ Ann-Marie
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Hi Paulan, I can only imagine the stess you find yourself dealing with right now. The roller coaster that is Breast Cancer is certainly not a fun ride!. The waiting is always rubbish and getting a letter that you have no idea what it means will only be adding to the situation.
For now try to spend time doing things you love to help you to relax and also it could be worth a call to your doctor who is treating you for your CMD, it would be good to keep them in the loop.
Six days will no doubt seem like the longest time on your life and I am glad you have been able to get an appointment sooner than they planned. No doubt the Dr will go over the test results and if there needs to be further identification or better still to begin the organisation of your required treatments. For me, once I had a treatment plan I was able to focus on that and felt much better over all.
If you have not already done so, get BCNA to send out a My Journey Kit as the information in there is very informative and helpful and will will no doubt help with the "you don't know what you don't know" and help you get some questions together.
Is there anyone who can attend the appointment with you? that is always helpful too.
I am sending you warm comforting turtle hugs and hope they help to give you just a little more sleep while you wait for the next step to begin.
hugs Sharon (pink66 - Super Turtle)0 -
Welcome to the forum Paula, not welcome to rotten cancer. No worries the docs will sort it out and you will come good.
Excellent replies from the other ladies. Do take someone with you to each appointment. Do write a list of questions no matter how silly or trivial you think they may be.
Everything, even depression can be handled by your breast cancer team so just be up front about it and they will help you. There are also councillors and McGrath breast nurse available.
Some weird darn things go through your mind. I had scary little mini panic attacks but fortunately there were at home and not in public and I got through it. For some reason 3 mornings in a row I woke up with the words in my head first thing, I am a chemo patient. It really browned me off as I was feeling just not too bad at the time and my stupid brain did not have to remind me of things. I even chucked a tantrum in front of the specialist doctor who I thought was being rather flippant and she copped a bucket of tears that day, as did the poor unsuspecting pre-op nurse who I saw right afterwards lol.
We all muddle through and we're here for you if you want to have a rant or just need a cyber hug.
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Hi there Paulan,
welcome to the forum but sorry you've had to join us. The next few weeks will be difficult as you will not know what you are dealing with entirely and it really is a roller coaster ride. You really don't know for sure what you are dealing with until you've had your pathology results from surgery. I have no other hints to add as the other girls have pretty much covered it. Definitely take someone with you to appointments and take one day/appointment at a time. Speak to your gp in regards to your depression and the not sleeping. Many have suffered depression before, during and/ or after breast cancer so your specialists will be well equipped to help on that front. Try to change your thinking around to thank goodness they have found it so now I can do something about it! Hang in the. You will get through this and we will all be here to help support you. Take care. Karen xox
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Hi Paulan,
I was diagnosed at Christmas 2015. You are in the right place, plenty of resources, moral support and a place to say things you might not otherwise around your family and friends!
You're now on a roller coaster ride that you didn't want to be on. Emotions are high, then they are low, you'll laugh, then scream, you'll be happy, then sad.
But you are not alone! We got your back, and although none of us may have met, we are united! United in our relentless march to stamp out BC!
Wishing you all the very best for whatever comes your way, remember ask lots of questions, ask, ask, ask! Write everything down and write questions along with the answers down too!
Sending you love and light for easy recovery and beautiful days....
-Tracy
stay strong | breathe | believe
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Thanks. The depression bit is really worrying me because my psychiatrist retired after seeing him for 20 years (he knows me better than I do LOL). So now not only do I have to deal with all the cancer info but I also have to go over my whole psychiatric history with a new psychiatrist as well.
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Thanks Sharon. Yes my hubby will be coming with me
Paula
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Thanks Brenda, Iv been waking up having panic attacks after only an hours sleep & then I cant get back to sleep again. This has been going on for a week now & Im really sick of it. I need much more sleep than that 7 hours of sleep in a week isn't good
Paula
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Thanks Karen, I was really positive for 2 days, or so I thought at the time. The mind is a really weird thing & mine just loves playing games
Paula
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Thank you to you all for your kind words. Now Im worried about my hubby. He had his melt down tonight with tears, the lot. You see Iv also been in a wheelchair for the last 3 1/2 years & tonight he told me that he has been finding it hard not to be able to fix that & now he cant fix
BC either & he feels useless. Never mention the fact that at 49 he only has 25% heart function (silly man). He also said that he doesn't tell me enough how much he loves me & feels guilty about that too. Do men really think they are Gods & not human LOL. Is there anywhere he can get support? I keep telling him that its not just me that is going thru this, we both are!!!Paula
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Hi Paula,
I just wanted to let you know there are a few support avenues for your husband.
MensLine Australia is a professional telephone and online support and information service for Australian men.
Contact Number: 1300 78 99 78 (24/7)Beyondblue provides information and support to help everyone in Australia achieve their best possible mental health, whatever their age and wherever they live.
Contact Number: 1300 22 4636 (24/7)
Online Chat: 3pm-12am 7 days a week~ Ann-Marie x
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Dear Paulan,
It’s Lisa from the Policy Team. It’s great that you posted on the Online Network as it can be such a good place get support during this really difficult time. As the other ladies have said, you can get in touch with us at any time to order a copy of our free information pack, My Journey Kit. You can give us a ring on 1800 500 258 to order the kit or you can order it on our website here. The kit provides information about breast cancer, what to expect when you have been diagnosed, advice and tips from other women and information about supports and services that are available.
Also, if you would like more information about the letter BreastScreen sent you before your appointment with your doctor, you may wish to call the BreastScreen Assessment Centre which you attended and ask to speak to one of the nurse counsellors. They should be able to give you more information about the letter they sent and answer any questions you may have.
You might have seen this fact sheet already, but if not, I also wanted to let you know about our fact sheet ‘Anxiety, depression and breast cancer,’ which we developed in partnership with beyondblue. If you would like to have a look, you can order the factsheet or download a copy on our website here. The Cancer Council also runs a free, confidential Information and Support telephone service in each state and territory. To contact the Cancer Council’s telephone service, you can call 13 11 20. More information is also available here.
Warm regards,
Lisa0 -
Hi Paula
Its good that your hubby has been able to express his feelings to you. The not being able to fix it is a huge thing for those around us. It is an awful feeling of helplessness. It is just the beginning and there will be many more ups and downs for both of you. You will be able to access counselling for you both through the hospital. Use every resource you can. Hang in there. You will both get through this. Karen xox
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