Hi Princess
I feel for you I am fortunate to live in the big smoke but believe me one can still feel so very alone.
No matter what age at diagnosis, we all go through stress. We all are fearful when we have our annual mammogram/ultrasound no longer free because we have been diagnosed with BC, we may have side effects that others have or our may be "atypical"
Many marriages break up because the partner just doesn't get that we have changed. that small things don't seem such an issue anymore, that "our new post chemo/radiation/herceptin normal" means we can only work part time and need to rest more, to slow down and smell those roses....that we need to get rid of negativity sucking all our energy like the character in Harry Potter books. It has taken me years to do this and to learn to "do what I can and can the rest" even now I preach and sometimes try to do too much.
I no longer try to be wonder woman I was at 50 raising a family (who have now flown the coup and since married) working 6 days a week to pay bills, while hubby claims to be busy and to not have money when a bill comes up - I am what I thought I'd never be a divorced woman happy to be alone (most of the time) , to do things others never wanted to support me doing like all my Cancer Council/BCNA/Lymphoedema Support group activities; able to spend her money without fear of a sudden bill for a business expenditure.... and hoping I'll see some grandchildren to be born and maybe even see grow up.
I learn to make smaller shorter term goals: first to see my then 17 & 19 year old sons complete HSC and their degrees, then to see them married & dance at their weddings and those of several of their cousins; to be healthier so I do small walks, then longer ones; do strengthening exercises, start tai chi etc; see a grand nephew be born and turn 1 also friends grandchildren be born and then hopefully start school & so on. I return to knitting then find a son has also started!
yes there are setbacks for me lymphoedema and some side effects of Arimidex and then the drugs to control my blood pressure and cholesterol issues Arimidex causes me, gluten and lactose intolerance issues, weight gain but I'd rather be alive than the alternative.
I know it is easy to say but try to stay positive, if you need to vent this is a good place because we've all been there at various times since our diagnosis last year, in my case 9 years ago or for some I know decades later!
your pink sister,
Carol