Totally Overwhelming
First post tried once before don't think I was successful, techno illiterate. First mammogram ever was called back, don't worry they said a lot of ladies get called back it's usually nothing. Had a core biopsy they said it looked like DCIS don't worry they said most come back benign. Went to my GP on the 19.5.15, not good news, it's DCIS it's malignant, high grade, 4.3cm, more than likely need a mastectomy considering the size, high grade and small breasts. I'm numb, pinch me I said I felt my doctor touch my hand I knew I wasn't dreaming. My head was spinning it still is. Seen the surgeon a week later, we have decided on a lumpectomy with follow up radiation. Hopefully the excision will come back with margins clear. Surgery booked for 23.6.15 trying to stay positive, not easy. Have 3 adult children, 2 of them supportive, one amazing daughter in law, 3 gorgeous grand babies, a supportive partner and terrific friends. My Mum passed away 2009, Dad is hiding his head in the sand. Why do I feel so alone. I am terrified, the stat's don't seem to be in my favour, question my decision daily, I trust my surgeon knows best. I am a nurse and see a lot worse but this does not allay my fears, my doubts much. I have read some of the blogs and think wow I'm not alone, I hope I can draw some positives along my journey.
Comments
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Hi hooper65, I just wanted to get in touch to welcome you to the network, it can be a pretty scary at first, but there are many wonderful women on here to lend their experiences and support.
I noticed that your blog post has not appeared in the network main page, so Im just working to get that up for you.
If you need any help in the online network, or to access any additional support services, please just let me know
Jess
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Thanks Jess
I didn't think I was doing things right. It's great being able to read the experiences that other women are dealing with. Thanks for responding, felt like I was lost in space. Feeling a lot of that lately.
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Hi Hooper65, have only just seen your post but wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and I understand only too well the overwhelming thoughts and feelings when first diagnosed. There is so much to get your head around - it can feel like everything is unravelling so fast and in the meantime we are trying to be strong and keep it together for everyone around us. It's great to be positive, but at the same time it's important to acknowledge that this is a difficult thing to go through and we wouldn't be human if we weren't just a bit anxious. The beginning, in many ways, is the hardest part of the whole ordeal, as there is so much we don't know and we have so many questions and not everyone knows how to cope with a loved one's diagnosis.
I found a few things useful at this point - reading the My Journey Kit from BCNA gave me reliable information (keep away from Dr Google!) and talking to my breast care nurse helped me to understand that early breast cancer is very treatable and survival rates are very good. Being informed helped me to feel a little more in control :-) It's great that you've come on to this website, there are so many of us that have travelled this road and we are happy to offer advice and support along the way. I'm now 2 years post active treatment (mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy and Herceptin), now on hormone tablets, and had my reconstruction last year. It has been a long, hard road but there have been many unexpected joys along the way; including receiving support from unexpected quarters, meeting some amazingly skilled and caring medical professionals and making some new friends here who just "get it".
I wish you all the very best for your surgery next week - remember, one step at a time, you will get through this. Best wishes, Jane xx
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Hi there,
just jumping in to say welcome to the site that none of us really want to join. However there are many of us here who have travelled the path you find your self on. I'm a nurse also, but all that knowledge and sense goes out the door when it's happening to you. Just try as hard as you can to take one day at a time. It's hard not to get ahead of yourself. Breast care nurses are a great place to go to for information and support. It's great you have your adult kids with you. Try and take someone to your appointments just to write stuff down. It's amazing how much you don't take in at the time. I am 4 years post a second diagnosis and doing really well. Early breast cancer is very treatable. Good luck with your upcoming surgery
Hugs
paula xxx
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Thank you Jane I appreciate your response and will heed your advice. It certainly is a journey, and one that has only just begun for me. Thank you again
Sonya x
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Thank you Paula I am grateful for your words of wisdom. They say nurses are the worse patients lol, I am trying my best to take this one day at a time and be patient.
I am happy to hear you are doing so well, thank you again for sharing.
Sonya
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Hang in there . I was diagnosed early May and have had two surgeries. My margins are now clear and working on treatment options. First few weeks are so difficult but it does get better and u will start feeling more in control. Good luck with the surgery.
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Hi
Just reading through your post & noticed that you were due for surgery last week. Did it go ahead? How did it go? As yet another nurse ( are we over represented here?), it's so different on the other side, isn't it?
I, too, am just starting my journey. Following a different path. Started chemo last week, surgery to follow, then probably radiotherapy
thinking of you, take care
Lyn
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Hi Hooper, I hope that you get the support that you need from this network. It is overwhelming to get a diagnosis, it's like being in a fog for a little while until you get your head around it, and that's quite normal. Take your time, and deal with 1 appointment at a time, and it might reduce the big hurdle into 1 little one. Stay in touch with the online network k, as they will give you lots of inspiration along the way. Sending you a cyber cuddle, Tracey B xxxx ??
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Hi Upi
Thank you. I had my surgery last week, going for my results tomorrow. It certainly has been a tense couple of months, waiting is the worse. Good luck with your own treatment, hope all goes well.
Sonya x
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Hi Lyn
Had my surgery last week, was very pleased with my surgery and surgeon, he did a tremendous job. Not like I'd imagined. Get my results tomorrow, very anxious not totally positive about results, more realistic I guess, will be a bonus to receive good news, ready for the disappointment. You're spot on about being on the other side, felt very vulnerable and out of control. I'm trying my best to be a good patient, it's not easy.
All the best with your journey, hope the chemo isn't too harsh, stay strong, cry when you feel like it, have the empathy for yourself that we always afford others.
Take care, and let others take care of you too.
Kind regards
Sonya x
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Hi Tracey
Thank you for your wise words. I think that's the hardest for me, I have always been a planner, so having no plan is difficult. However I am trying to do this in little steps, day by day, appointment by appointment like you say, it's a lot easier and tell myself this daily.
I have found BCNA a tremendous support, it's encouraging to hear others experiences and their wonderful support. It's like a new little family that actually do understand.
Your hug was felt, thank you.
Sonya x
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Glad to read your surgery went well. thinking of you as you get your results tomorrow.
Paula x
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Thanks Paula
Unfortunately not good news today. Have DCIS and they also found invasive cancer. Need to have mastectomy surgery booked for the 21st July with sentinel node biopsy. Half expected it, but still devastated at the news. One day at a time, one appointment /surgery at a time. Hope all is well with you ??
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Hi Sonya
Sorry the news wasn't good today. I was a bit surprised, though, that you didn't have a sentinel node biopsy with the first surgery?
I do get to skip that step, as I know that I'm node positive, so will be going straight to an axillary clearance come surgery time.
Thinking of you
Lyn
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