Patience with 'New Normal'
It's interesting that while faced with all the different steps of the adventure there was never really any chats or planning of what would be next once it's all done.
I have found that yes there is adjustment to the new normal. Like remembering to put my boob on before I go out, that random swims now have to be planned or undertaken with very close friends who don't show that they care you only have one 'floaty'.
I am also getting just a tad peeved which sounds wrong with everyone saying your doing so well. I feel I am no were near my old self. And understand in head that I probably won't ever be.
But now I don't know what to do. I am usually very active and now I am struggling. Don't know how far is to far when doing exercise and how to judge this as my old reference points no longer work. And having done sports to a high level I am not sure how to manage this.
I have a great network of friends and have joined a fantastic Dragonboat group. But feel I have gone backwards in my physical recovery. I just need to learn how to be patient as it is only 5 months since chemo finished.
Any tips on how to be patient and active again would be great.
Comments
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I know just what you mean.I have never done sport to a high level,but I was certainly quite fit when I was diagnosed.5 months after treatment,I felt like you are feeling now,but 12 months past chemo,as I am now,I feel really good,and pretty much back to normal.I am finding too,that the further you get past treatment,the less you worry or think about things like only having one boob,or what people say about you.And of course,as time goes on,people just say less.I suppose that no one knows what to say to someone that has had Cancer,so they just say what they probably think is right!!!Your question about how far to push yourself is a good one.I think that we definitely need to push ourselves ,because if we don't we will never get back to the way we were.The more we exercise,the better we feel.When I finished chemo,I was definitely more tired,my knees ached badly when I tried to ride my bike( but I rode it anyway) and after hard exercise,I was pretty much wrecked.I went to an exercise physio at RPA and I also did group classes with him.He used to push us( the other ladies had also had BC) to the max.I think this is when I realised that I was going to have to really give it my all,if I wanted to get back on top of things.I feel that after chemo,our mind knows what we should do,but our body finds it hard,as there are often posts from ladies that are struggling with their weight or fitness in general. If we can remember also,that staying healthy at a good weight,gives us the best long term prognosis with no recurrence,then this is another strong motivator.I am sure you will get on top,of things soon.Cheers xxRobyn0
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I know just what you mean.I have never done sport to a high level,but I was certainly quite fit when I was diagnosed.5 months after treatment,I felt like you are feeling now,but 12 months past chemo,as I am now,I feel really good,and pretty much back to normal.I am finding too,that the further you get past treatment,the less you worry or think about things like only having one boob,or what people say about you.And of course,as time goes on,people just say less.I suppose that no one knows what to say to someone that has had Cancer,so they just say what they probably think is right!!!Your question about how far to push yourself is a good one.I think that we definitely need to push ourselves ,because if we don't we will never get back to the way we were.The more we exercise,the better we feel.When I finished chemo,I was definitely more tired,my knees ached badly when I tried to ride my bike( but I rode it anyway) and after hard exercise,I was pretty much wrecked.I went to an exercise physio at RPA and I also did group classes with him.He used to push us( the other ladies had also had BC) to the max.I think this is when I realised that I was going to have to really give it my all,if I wanted to get back on top of things.I feel that after chemo,our mind knows what we should do,but our body finds it hard,as there are often posts from ladies that are struggling with their weight or fitness in general. If we can remember also,that staying healthy at a good weight,gives us the best long term prognosis with no recurrence,then this is another strong motivator.I am sure you will get on top,of things soon.Cheers xxRobyn0
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I think Robyn is right when she says that we need to push ourselves a bit to recover to the best of our ability. How far you can go is dependent on lots of individual factors such as how much treatment you had and what lasting effects you have, your age and general health, and TIME.
It does take time as well as effort to recover. I am now at the 14 month mark since finishing active treatment and still find some days are better than others. Fatigue and some physical limitations still impact my life but it keeps improving.
I also had professional help with the physical recovery and found that an individualized recovery program helped enormously. I was shown the right way to strengthen and improve my flexibility for my situation.
I think it helps to have goals that are realistic for your situation. Knowing that regular exercise can make a BIG difference to your chance of recurrence is really my biggest motivator. Also while in some ways I feel more fragile than before, in other ways I feel stronger because of what I went through.
Right now I am contemplating my biggest challenge since BC. It is something I never would have contemplated before BC - a 19 day trek to Base Camp at Mt Everest. I still have a little more research to do but just the fact that I (and my family) think that I might be able to do this is pretty amazing. It also helps me to know that I would be raising money to help find a cure for BC if I do this (it is part of a Qld Cancer Council challenge).
So, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, like Rowdy says. You never know where you might find yourself in a few more months! Deanne xxx0 -
I think Robyn is right when she says that we need to push ourselves a bit to recover to the best of our ability. How far you can go is dependent on lots of individual factors such as how much treatment you had and what lasting effects you have, your age and general health, and TIME.
It does take time as well as effort to recover. I am now at the 14 month mark since finishing active treatment and still find some days are better than others. Fatigue and some physical limitations still impact my life but it keeps improving.
I also had professional help with the physical recovery and found that an individualized recovery program helped enormously. I was shown the right way to strengthen and improve my flexibility for my situation.
I think it helps to have goals that are realistic for your situation. Knowing that regular exercise can make a BIG difference to your chance of recurrence is really my biggest motivator. Also while in some ways I feel more fragile than before, in other ways I feel stronger because of what I went through.
Right now I am contemplating my biggest challenge since BC. It is something I never would have contemplated before BC - a 19 day trek to Base Camp at Mt Everest. I still have a little more research to do but just the fact that I (and my family) think that I might be able to do this is pretty amazing. It also helps me to know that I would be raising money to help find a cure for BC if I do this (it is part of a Qld Cancer Council challenge).
So, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, like Rowdy says. You never know where you might find yourself in a few more months! Deanne xxx0 -
Just adding one more thing. The woman who will show us around at Base Camp climbed Mt Everest after recovering from BC. So keep an open mind about what is possible!
Deanne xxx 0 -
You guys are awesome. Thank you all for your stories and encouragement.
And yes TIME is the one I am struggling with - but am learning.
Base Camp - awesome. A friend wants to do Kakoda and I have wanted to go - so who knows.0 -
Kakoda would be a huge challenge! I am told that the trek to Base Camp only requires reasonable not super duper fitness level as long as you pace yourself and do some hill training leading up to it. For me the big challenge will be believing in myself and my capacity to do something out of my comfort zone! One thing I will say is that since I started planning for this I already feel stronger (scared but hey it can't be as scary as losing a breast and having to have chemo!) and more motivated to be active. I think it's definitely taken my mind away from dwelling on what if ....0
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Hi all I can relate to all of your comments. It is good to push yourself, and it's now almost 5 years since my initial diagnosis, & I have to say, it's taken this long for me to begin feeling better. I need to add I wasn't particularly fit beforehand...that was my fault.
I've had a double mastectomy (12 minutes mths apart), and don't plan on having a reconstruction. I'm saving the money I would have spent on bras for travel!
I only have a bit of secondary mets in my lower back, which has stayed the same size since 2010. So I consider myself lucky.
Love to you all, and keep positive! Xx0 -
Yes - I feel like I'm a hundred. And at 47 feel bad not able to even keep up with the 70yros at paddling.
Went walking again today. So hopefully will help get me fitter, stronger quicker!0 -
Hi, I know a great physio in Midland, David Bryde, at North Street Medical centre. I know that is a fair way to go, but you may not need to see him all that often, and I think he might be really useful to you to guide you on your way.
David was a professional tennis player and he traveled with high-level sports teams as their physio. He knows a great deal about returning to full fitness after injury or illness. I drew on his expertise after 3 knee injuries in 15 months,(medial meniscus left knee, then medial meniscul right knee, then medial collateral ligiment right knee). I had no surgery, and no cortisone injections, but I had to do the right exercises regularly plus stationery bike at the gym to build up the correct musclesjust above the knee.
Unlike some physios who just seem to work on things with no particular clear stated goal in mind, he set me up with an ongoing process to get me back to full functioning with stronge healthy knees again over the course of a year. He also explains things very well, eg advised me to get a knee brace that did not fully extend and that totally prevented sideways movement because that would prevent further injury and speed up healing enormously..
He would be able to guide you in how to realistically work from being quite unfit and also quite limited by fatigue or whatever you are limited by. And to have a plan that helps you know how to decide what you can do on a particular day and also see your way to the longer term goal. He may also know about the type of exercise that would get your white blood cells and red blood cells production up.
Nice to hear you have weathered the journey ok. BTW, with friends can you tell them you want a complain session today, ie someone who can hear you complain for ten to twenty minutes flat and not try to brush it off, just listen, empathise and understand. When my son was going through a bad time he trained me to be his complaint-listener. But without training, I did not know that was what he needed. If you trust them enough, tell them" I know you are trying to help encourage me and be positive, but right now I need you to hear how crappy and scared I feel and how I miss the structures of my life I have lost."
best wishes
Jessica
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I should add that David guided my 34yr ord daughter in how to safely and quickly return to her pole dancing classed after her breast cancer scare and surgery just as I started chemo. (She had two lumps removed, a chunk the size of a matchbox and a half from smallish breasts, turned out to not be cancer thank heavens). He told her what she could and should do and also what to avoid doing and what to build up and how.
Ever thought of pole-dancing? It makes the body incredibly fit and strong all over!
cheers
Jessica
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I should add that David guided my 34yr ord daughter in how to safely and quickly return to her pole dancing classed after her breast cancer scare and surgery just as I started chemo. (She had two lumps removed, a chunk the size of a matchbox and a half from smallish breasts, turned out to not be cancer thank heavens). He told her what she could and should do and also what to avoid doing and what to build up and how.
Ever thought of pole-dancing? It makes the body incredibly fit and strong all over!
cheers
Jessica
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Hi, Yes I think we can all relate to "you are doing so well". Yes i too got a tad peeved with it as from my perspective I was far from where I wanted to be. Just remember everyone sees things from a different perspective and generally the "you are doing so well" comment is said with genuine sincerity and the reality of it is that you are most likely doing extremely well given the situation.
I too was very active prior to diagnosis and really struggled mentally with my social life or perhaps the new limitations put on it. The majority of my friends and I participated socially in active recreational activities that after BC I could no longer do. As I lost fitness they just appeared to be getting fitter. I found this really hard to deal with.
I am now 2 years post active treatment, still not fit, but yesterday I commenced a training program to start running with my aim to be to run the Mothers Day Classic. I have struggled to walk it in the past 2 years, but am feeling good that I have set myself the goal and am feeling strong enough to achieve it. I am not telling my friends about my new training program or goal as I want to surprise them by turning up to the Mothers Day Classis and running it with them. In the past years I have walked it whilst they have run it.
It has been at the 2 year post active treatment stage that I am beginning to feel more like my old self. I will also be returning to work this week, but just 2 days per week initially.
Sorry no hints as it can only come from you. All I can say is don't be too hard on yourself, listen to your body yet gently keep pushing yourself to discover your new limits. And enjoy life.
All the best,
Helen.
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I know there are a few members from the Get active and keep well group already responding to this post (which is great!), I just wanted to invite you to join the Get active and keep well group. It's a great space to share your experiences, advice and tips. It's proving to be a really supportive environment so have a read and see what you think. I thought you might also like to know we have a couple of resources available - healthy eating and exercise and breast cancer. These resources provide really practical information and guidance around reintroducing exercise back into your routine X Steph
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No (had a little giggle)
Each to their own.0
