Hi all
Ok I seem to have worked this out now. I have options of writing in groups and also of writing my own blog that people may or may not want to respond to but if nothing else is a place just to write.
I am at work reflecting on the fact that it has only been 5 weeks since my diagnosis of a grade invasive ductal carcinoma. In that time I have 1 surgery to remove a tumor the size of a golf ball (am still amazed it got to be so big before I noticed it). Followed 2 weeks later by another surgery as breast tissue started to die and I had developed the ability to squirt fluid from it across a room (pretty gross) and picked up a lovely golden staph infection. So surgery #2 to cut away dying tissue, clean out the inside, stitch it back up and hold breath (luckily not figuratively).
Pathology reported it as a triple negative BC. Hmm I thought better go read up on that one. Great sometimes as they say ignorance is bliss but now I am well armed and knowledgable as I get sent off to see the oncologist.
Saw the oncologist last week who has strongly recommended undergoing chemotherapy due the nature of the tumor (TAC every 3 weeks for 6 rounds) before radiation. Then I read up on these 3rd generation chemotherapy drugs and shake my head - why am I voluntarily going from feeling pretty healthy to potenitally the sickest I am ever going to feel. Oh thats right increase my risks of survival - good plan then :-). i also love her reaction when I asked if I will be able to keep working - ""thats probably not a realistic concept"", hmmm I guess time will tell on that one.
Ok so after all that rambling its the week between easter and anzac and I am sitting at work with absolutey nothing cancer related on for the first time in almost 2 months. Hmmm I think I can be productive but of course the mind being what it is I start thinking about I wish they would give me a start date already so I can plan for it but no I have to wait until I attend my education session next week. Well thats good more time for feeling well and yet also more time just standing still and not getting to the end of this horrible journey. You've probably guessed patience is not my strong suite lol.
Its like everything has just come to a screaming halt. I've very good at the "what will be will be"and I would say I am a realist rather than an optimist or a pessimist but gee this week is sinking into molassas - slow and torturous and smells bad (ok maybe not bad smelling). My brains going hey just pretend nothing is going on life is as usual - stupid brain can't even lie to itself pfft.
Anyway thats my ramble for today. Budgets and staff area actually needing my attention. Til later.
Theresa
