Bye bye boobs
Five days to go until I farewell my breasts. I am comfortable with my decision but nervous about the emotional impact of the outcome. How can you anticipate an amputation of this nature, physically or mentally? I'm not afraid of medical procedures or pain (eight and a half hours of labour with no painkillers pushing out a 9lb11oz baby...), but I am nervous of being under for 8 - 10 hours. My low blood pressure issues and collapse a few weeks ago are playing on my mind. My GP is being cautious and doing some heart tests and I'll be having a good chat with the anaesthetist. I'm comforted by the people who've gone before me and say they have no regrets. I know I'm doing the right thing, for me and my family. My lovely breast surgeon agrees. However I am sad. My breasts are actually a body part I liked. We've had some fun over the years; it's challenging to say goodbye to such a delightful erogenous zone. Nerves and apprehension have been rising as the operation's approached, but have been mostly under control. However last night, after a busy day of distraction, the moment I turned off my light I was swamped with anxiety that went on all night. I had a shocker. The valium I took at 3am didn't help (it was only a 2). I'm a member of the Choosing Breast Reconstruction Group but it's pretty quiet over there so @iserbrown suggested I post here too, so you all can keep me company through the next bump on this wretched rollercoaster. Black humour welcome!
All Clear happy and healthy, BUT pre admission tomorrow for Mastectomy/Recon struggling mentally..
To say its been a tough week, has been an understatement even after a recurrence multiple surgeries and treatments over the past 6yrs. As much as I knew it was coming, I wasnt prepared for the call from Hospital for my pre-admission tomorrow. 19 months on from a lumpectomy, 13 months post chemo, happy, healthy reclaiming my life. The mental torture has been relentless this week, knowing I'm WELL but in light of a recurrence don't gamble Melinda, do a Mastectomy/Diep flap reconstruction. Even knowing deep down its the best thing I could do, I still struggle with the loss, the prevention, the surgery. Its always been my struggle getting to this decision now it is here, I don't feel any different, I'm still struggling with it. I can be honest, I'm scared, petrified of the actual surgery, the recovery, the loss, the end result. Struggling with feeling Im damned if I do, damned if I don't. Maybe I'll feel different once it's done? Ive looked at it every which way possible, and its just so mentally challenging when I know Im so well...the tears havent stopped. I will also be mostly alone through recovery as my kids are going to live with their Dad as its easier for them to get to Uni and my baby in VCE. Whilst its the right thing for me to do...am heartbroken to not have them with me loving and supporting me. My Partner lives an hour away, due to work and life will only be able to manage at different times. Another reminder of traveling this road nearly 7yrs without my Mum, lucky to have my Dad who wants to help but is 77. Inspite of all this, knowing how incredibly lucky am I really!!! how dare I be sad, upset, angry, so why do I struggle, don't know how to resolve this for myself?? I've always been proactive, positive and upbeat...hoping its purely the fear thats getting in the way...
Whats happening in choosing breast recontruction
Hi all, If you haven't been over to our group lately here's a snapshot of our latest posts. We have a new member having her recon on Monday Questions about recovery pain after implants Another member struggling after losing an implant A post from a member counting down to her DIEP reconstruction Mel is almost at the finish line getting her Nipples tattooed next week and another member with questions about post op nipple care As always we have very generous members adding to our growing PHOTO STORIES announcement. This is such a great place to start if you are wondering realistically about outcomes. We are so very lucky so many of our members very generously share their personal stories If your aren't a member and would like to join just click here. Don't forget our group is private so you need to visit to read posts. Please if you think you can offer some words of wisdom, please do, or just pop over and say hi. Have a great weekend all Paula and the team Jane @jane221 Chris @chorsell Alex @alexinbrisbane, and Louie @LouiseTurner
Whats' happening in Choosing Breast Reconstruction
Hi ladies, Just a reminder for anyone who is a member of our group to pop over and have a look occasionally as we are a private group and as such our posts don't appear in the main forum. New members are always welcome and we have an amazing collection of photo stories that our very generous ladies have shared to give you a realistic idea of what a reconstruction can look like and how you may feel. To make it easy here is the link We currently have a couple of members who are looking for support as they consider for different reasons whether or not to remove their implants. We have a couple of new members about to have surgery looking for support and one who has just had her surgery and is bravely showing her photos. Any support you can offer would be really appreciated by these lovely ladies thanks all. Paula (mum2jj)
Newly Diagnosed 18/2/2020
Hi Everyone, my name is Lois and my life got bit of a shock last week when the doctor said "It is Aggressive, Invasive Breast Cancer". The emotions went into hyper drive and I left his room and promptly threw up in his garden. Luckily, my husband was there for that much needed clean up and cuddle. My "Lump" had been there for over 5 months and as I have Lupus, merely thought it was a torn chest muscle that was taking forever to heal. Unfortunately it wasn't. Instead it is a Stage 1, Grade 3 estrogen receptor cancer (I think that is what they said!!) located in the upper quadrant of my left breast on my chest wall. The lump is nearly 30 mm... Yesterday, I met with the Specialist for the first time and my Breast Care Nurse - both very calm, methodical, easy to approach and allowed me for the first time in nearly 3 weeks to let my breath out and come home with a positive outlook - even though I know the months ahead will shake, rattle and roll me to exhaustion and beyond. At the moment, the decision is to take out the lump and relevant lymph nodes then radiation therapy. The view to full removal of both breasts will be considered once I have done healing....especially as "we" are unsure how the Lupus will react as I have been in constant flare up with a myriad of symptoms for nearly a year now. The whole thing of rejection of breast tissue for reconstruction etc needs to be considered at length and with advisement of specialists. I am alternating between being scared and rationally calm. The hardest bit of this news, was having to tell my children and watch the sheer horror cross their faces. That took my breath away. So...that is me. Trying to find a sense of positivity amongst the fear and monumental freak out sessions since I was told the news.Have you had air expanders after radiation, can you help a Choosing Breast Reconstruction member?
Hi ladies. We have a member in our group asking about pain caused by air expanders after previously having radiation to the skin. This is a common question on our site. if you are a member and haven’t visited for a while and could help out please pop over. If you are. not a member and would like to join follow this link Thanks ladies. Paula xxx
Central Coast Support Lunch Sunday 24 February
Come along and join us for lunch overlooking beautiful Wamberal beach. The lunches are a great way to connect with other women who are walking a similar path to you. They are a wonderful opportunity to ask questions and share experiences, particularly regarding breast reconstruction. Please ensure you RSVP so we can reserve you a seat at the table. We look forward to seeing you there. Date: Sunday, 24th February Where: Wamberal Ocean View Cafe (above the Surf Club) Time: 12 midday to 3pm
