Coping with school closures
I am terrified of the Inevitable closure of all schools. I understand why, but I don’t think I will cope with kids home ALL the time with no support from family. With all sports and extracurricular activities already cancelled they are lacking sufficient outlets for their excess energy. School is a brief respite during the day. I already find after school to bedtime quite a challenge. I am so anxious about this. I love my kids with all my heart, but they are a real handful and I am worried sick about how I will cope. Anyone have any tips? 😢
PTSD
Hi All. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018, and had chemo, radio and left masectomy. I have just recently had a preventative right masectomy and reconstruction. My question is, can it be possible for PTSD to develop in my now 3 year old following my most recent surgery? I thought she was oblivious during the initial treatments. But since my latest surgery, her behaviour is dreadful and her sleep is terrible. It’s totally heartbreaking and I don’t know what to do about it. Thank you
Almost
2011 Sister diagnosed with and treated for a malignant sarcoma on her leg. 2012 Sister-in-law diagnosed with incurable brain cancer. 2013 Sister diagnosed with and treated for Stage 3 BC. 2014 Sister's BC returns, metastasised to lungs and liver. 2015 Sister-in-law dies. 2016 Father treated for aggressive prostate cancer. Sister dies. 2017 I'm diagnosed with BC. 2018 Chemo, double mastectomy and reconstruction. Eight years of cancer and death. I just wanted to get through this year without anyone being diagnosed with, treated for, or dying from cancer. 2010 was the last time this happened. I've thought about it every couple of weeks all year, and more frequently as we got closer to the end of the year. We almost made it. Two and a half weeks to go. The finish line was in sight. Two years to the day that my husband went round to my parents' house to tell them I had BC, on the day I had my re-excision for margins, my father tells me that his prostate cancer has metastasised to his lungs. Two years to the hour. It is staggering. Not that his cancer's back, but that for the ninth year in a row, we are here yet again. Prognosis is uncertain at this stage, the spots are tiny, yet to be biopsied and could possibly be held indefinitely at bay with hormone supression. But chemo could also be on the cards, as of course is his death. He's 83 and in very good nick, but I am SO angry, and so defeated. It's not the tragedy of dying of cancer at 47, but after everything we've been through in the last decade it's a cruel, cruel blow. We're not telling the children now, and we may never, but if it comes to it, how on earth am I going to do it? The youngest two, my sister's kids, lived all their lives with my parents until they came to live with me. They are deeply traumatised, there are ongoing psychological and behavioural issues that are monstrously hard and hugely stressful to handle. Progress is slow and fractional. Some weeks ago I told my psychologist that while I was making huge efforts to get myself onto an even keel, and making efforts towards leading a life that was bearable, hope was not something I had. She maintained that hope was human being's superpower, and that she was going to continue to try to get me to hope again. Bitterly this demonstrates why I am right. If I dare to hope, if glimmers of hope spring uncalled for from my subconscious, than my reality slaps them back down again. Thank goodness I didn't let hope back into my life. Thank goodness I stopped it when I started to feel it. Thank goodness I caught it and suppressed it. Because how I feel now would be worse, so much worse. If I'd received this news in a state of hopefulness... instead I feel grimly prepared for the horror to come. It's really hard to see the point anymore. Almost. We almost made it.
Long messy ramble - fertility after BC - needed a vent (thanks & sorry!)
Well once again I havent stopped by here for a while. I have been feeling too sad and needed to get my thoughts sorted out a bit better before trying to write it out. (this website is very cathartic) In December I decided to be proactive with the idea of starting a family since I had been given permission to stop taking Tamoxifen (Yay!). I excitedly went and had a blood test to see what my ovarian reserve was like after chemo/zoladex/radio. Unfortunately the results were so low we were told that we would have to do IVF as soon as possible at a cost of over 12k (which we dont have) but the specialist wanted me to have another blood test in Feb 3 days into my period to see if my AMH results improved at all. I had the original AMH test very soon after finishing tamoxifen and my Dr thought it may have influenced the results. My result in December was: 2 At my age (37) it should have been between 17 and twenty something (27?). This news was just heart breaking. I know that IVF doesnt work for everyone and is a crazy emotional rollercoaster that costs money we just dont have. I started looking into accessing my Super which apparently you can do for IVF and there is some company that helps with the from at a cost of $200 Anyway. Waiting for Feb to have the blood test was a long wait so we decided to just give it a go naturally in the mean time. I started taking the right vitamins and ditched the condoms. I had been feeling a bit weird and started to wonder if we had managed to beat the odds so off I went to buy some home pregnancy tests. They were positive! Straight to the GP the next day to confirm with a blood test and yup. I was pregnant. We just couldn't believe our luck! Being pregnant after BC treatment automatically deems you 'high risk' so I tried desperately not to get too excited but it was just impossible not too. When you can feel your body changing there is no way you can not think about it and all my blood tests were coming in with good numbers so things were going well. Being high risk means you get sent for ultrasounds much sooner than normal so we had four all up. At the 3rd we got to see a little squiggle with a heart beat and by ultrasound 4 its little heart had stopped. I think it was called a missed miscarriage. Its when the baby stops growing but your body doesn't realise. I was still getting all the symptoms of being pregnant but it wasn't ment to be. The standard next step is to wait 2 weeks to see if your body passes it all naturally, if not you need to go in for a procedure. It was the hardest 2 weeks ever. I couldn't go to work as I was convinced the final part of the miscarriage would start while at work and it takes me an hour to get home on the train - there was no way I was going to spend and hour on the train bleeding and bawling my eyes out! I ended up needing to have the procedure which went well. By that point I was just happy to get closure on that front. So it has been two weeks since the procedure and I now have my annual boob ultrasound and mammogram next coming up next week. While I was pregnant my 'normal' boob was crazy tender where as my operated on boob was just occasionally feeling weird. Since my hormones have been coming back to normal I have had a whole bunch of pimples and my operated on boob has been feeling weird more frequently under my scar. I am so emotionally spent that I am now stressing more than normal about the upcoming check up. I was only pregnant for 2 months but my cancer was hormone positive. I have read stats that pregnancy doesnt cause cancer but as I said, I am emotionally wrecked at the moment, the combo of hormones and not sleeping doesnt help! I havent had time to fully process the miscarriage yet. I know it sounds dramatic but I am scared that this was our one and only chance. I have always been a very positive person and after going through BC I thought everything else would be a breeze. I couldnt have been more wrong. It has taken me awhile to figure out why I am not handling this as well (hahaha) as I did BC but I realised that my escapes during treatment were facebook, tv & movies. It seems at the moment every facebook post is another friends pregnant belly, pics of adorable babies and people posting about how amazing it is to be a parent. TV and movies are just as bad! While I was pregnant I was researching baby stuff online and now all my pop up ads are baby related. There just seems to be no escape! Logically I know that we can try again and IVF might be an option money permitting. I also know that if we cant have children it isnt the end of the world - I mean. I beat BC! I should be happy right?! I guess I am just grieving. Looking forward to progressing to the angry phase instead of sad. There is no real point to this ramble. I was just hoping that having a little vent would help. I thought things would be easier since treatment finished but I guess the roller-coaster ride continues.
Is it possible for a 16-year-old to get breast cancer?
I'm 16 and have a family history of breast cancer. My mother carried both the BRCA 1 & 2 genes (and was diagnosed during her mid-thirties) from my nan, who had breast cancer three times. I've been checking my breasts regularly from the age of 13 (at my pop's suggestion), and have recently noticed a small lump underneath my left nipple, as well as discharge from my nipple, a rash around it and a painful breast. Is it possible for me to have breast cancer at this age?