Really struggling with needing mastectomy
I have really been agonising over needing a mastectomy. I just feel horrified that they want to cut my breasts off and wonder how I will accept and deal with lookiing down to see no breasts. I have had really huge boobs all my life and 9 years ago finally had a reduction. Went from F/G cup to D. I have liked the size of my boobs for the first time since I was 14 yrs of age. So now the irony of getting them completely chopped off. But how do you deal with having no boobs? I'm really quite terrified. I know I have to do it to get rid of the damn cancer. But I guess it's also because I have never felt sick, unwell or anything. Just found a lump. I feel completely fine. So even I guess just accepting that I really DO have breast cancer? And I really DO need to treat it....is tough. I've had terrible complications from Chemo and been very sick. Heart failure and heart block and got a Defib implanted...that all seems way more real then the actual breast cancer. Now I have to face having the mastectomy. Not sure what I'm looking for here...just wanting to spill perhaps? Thanks all.
I'm not hideously disfigured...
I had a left side mastectomy on Tuesday. I have been really scared to look in the mirror. Finally worked up the courage today. I am ok, surprised myself....still me. Next step check up on Tuesday. Then more waiting to see if I need further treatment. I really want a bra now, but will wait till I'm less tender. My husband loves me, my teen boys laugh with me. Learning to love and accept the new me.