The simple things - Day 7 post lumpectomy

Hi Tracy

I know exactly how you feel. I was in hospital having a lumpectomy the day after my diagnosis of two lumps for the wires to go in and the op the next day. It all happened so quickly that I did not have time to think. I have big boobs too 16F but luckily still have them though my left one now is all scarred, a weird shape, and also had lymph nodes taken out and that is an awful black scar. But I am alive! It is all very daunting trying to read all the information that you are given. You want to read it to see what it is all about but on the other hand you want to throw it all out! I try and read a little every day about everything and my treatment (I start radiation therapy on 28 Jan five days a week for five weeks. The planning day was very daunting and especially lying there with your boobs exposed to these two people (one male and one female) who are measuring you up, tattooing you etc, and to think that that is going to happen another 25 times (lying there exposed!). They tell you there can be side effects and you wonder if you will get them. My advise is take one day at a time and if you cannot do something one day don't worry. Just rest. It is a journey and one that you will come out much stronger at the other end. I have kept positive all through mine (even at times I think it is unfair and interrupting my life!) and my husband and I treat it as a curve ball that we have to negotiate our way around. The best thing I have found is all the wonderful support that is around me from all the medical people. They cannot do enough for you and the Cancer Council are amazing. Don't worry about the people in your life who don't seem to be able to cope with your situation and keep their distance. I have had that but I just think that that is their problem. Also I keep my focus on and up and coming holiday to Fiji after all of this is over. All the best for 22/1. I will send up a prayer for you. God Bless. Love Ady XXXX

Good morning ladies I read this post and it brings back all those feelings back. One day at a time, I remember coping ok with losing my hair after the intial shock and then I would walk past a mirrior and think who is that. Rest while you can. I had the same feeling worrying about how my husband would be about losing my boob ( i had mastectomy with immediate reconstruction) He is ok with the change he struggles more with the fact that I look well but still struggle with fatigue and side effects from medication. Take car and good luck with Fridayxx

Hi there,

i know exactly how your feeling right now because I had my lumpectomy on 6/1 this year and got results yesterday. I honestly though the surgeon would say we have got the little sod out and you can go back to work in a few weeks time. I now realise I was living in cloud cuckoo land and was sent over to make appointment with oncologist. Wake up call most definitely lol. More upset now and had more tears than when I was diagnosed on 9/12. There's so much to come to terms with but as women we are naturally strong so let's all roll up our sleeves and get on with it as women do. Hoping for good results and I hope things aren't going to get too bad for me when I see oncologist next Wednesday.

louisa xx

It's so true until you have to deal with whatever, you never know how you will react. But I'm pretty sure you will be ok. The only thing is it doesn't get you anywhere trying to be brave all the time sometimes let your guard down to someone, sometimes it's a relief to tell someone your scared. Adean xx

Hi Tracy

the unknown is such a frightening thing and your mind does seem to go into overload thinking about things. The fact is that you may feel differently each day. In regards to your hair (or lack of it) the majority of the time I rocked bald but every now and then, something would happen or someone would say something and I would feel down or awkward about it.  Some days I am fine about the scars and others they feel so conspicuous. I think you are right about your brain kind of numbs to the idea of what you are going through as a coping mechanism. Plus I think you get so focused on all the appointments etc and what you need to get through, that perhaps some of it just gets put to the side. That's been my experience anyway. One day at a time and allow yourself to feel however you are feeling. You will get through this. All the best. Karen xox

Hi Trace, 

checked out the art on your link, you are so talented! I loved the Christmas trees & kookaburras. You have so got to get back into your drawing & painting, might help you regain that "slap that bitch" attitude. I'm sure you are aware of art therapy used to help children in distress. I wonder if perhaps you could put your mixed feelings on paper, what that artwork would look like?

That numbness you talk about is protective, almost therapeutic. So too are the simple mundane activities of every day life. Keep on living the beautiful life you have built with those you love, hold on to the so many good things in your life, and just deal with today. Your confidence has taken a hit, but you are strong and courageous and beautiful, and you are not alone. I'll be thinking of you on Friday, you will get through this, with love, Tracey ??

Hi Anne-Marie,

No haven't really had the head for it yet....I am aiming to though...want to work on a portrait of The Starman - aka David Bowie....who was taken by that bastard cancer ....as have many before and since. :'(

Stay Strong|Breathe|Believe is my mantra to get me through my cancer experience...I've preached it to many for the same reason, so my turn to take my own advice! 

If you like you can see my artwork on Facebook.

www.facebook.com/ScorpionAir.CustomArtworx

-Tracy Xx

Stay strong|Breathe|Believe

Hi Tracy,

Just wanted to check in to see if you were able to get back into your painting & drawing yet?

Love your sign off - Stay Strong|Breathe|Believe x

~Ann-Marie