Oh well, I still dont know

After my inoperable tumors went thru 5 months of chemo, I finally had a mastectomy just before xmas on 20th December. The breast nurse had assured me that all would be revealed after the mastectomy, ie cell grading, ongoing radiation, what drug regime for the next 5 to 10 years, blah, blah, blah...

The operation was not too bad, the worst part being carrying that dam bag of bodily fluids with you wherever you went. One of the valves (and there must have been 20 weak links in that bag) leaked everywhere. I had to find the problem and then wash everything and put it all back into a fresh bag. We are deep into xmas and boxing day so there is no one to call for such an incident.
Two drains and that funny little pump that people thought was my phone calling me. "Oh, you better get that", no, it's just my pump doing its thing.

I kept the bandage on after the nurse came to take the drains out. I wasn't ready to look at myself just yet. But then the bandage got wet and fell off and there were all these little pieces of sticky tape with what I knew was going to be my 'scar' running in a line under the tape.
After another day or 2 they started to lift off so I called the breast nurse and said I was ready for the big reveal - a line that starts to the right of my sternum, and goes across the middle and gently curves up under my arm. I was surprised at how unnoticeable it looked, like a breast with no nipple, the other breast being a AA cup, lol, helps with the illusion.

I'm thinking that this is too easy, my reconstruction surgeon is gonna love this look, started putting on Stratamed gel to reduce scarring and had virtually full movement in my shoulder by the time I went to see the surgeon for my post operative visit yesterday.

First I go into a nurse's office (this has never happened before) and she examines me and is more thrilled than I am!

I am then taken across the hall to my surgeon. She tells me that she took only one node and that it had cancer in it. I'd been told that the blue dye that I had injected into me was going to identify the four nodes closest to the tumours and they were the ones that were to be taken. When I woke up, the first thing I was told was that 3 nodes had been taken. What about the 4th node? Couldn't find it? Who knows.

So back to my armpit for the rest on January 31. She said the tumours were 'large' both being 4.2 cms. There will be drains again of course and will basically be the same operation only deeper and more after pain. She said the cut would not go across the centre but towards my armpit. I reckon they'll tell you anything to get you treated, which is probably a good thing.

Luckily I had my sister with me to listen and ask away. My head went numb and I could hear nothing.
My children thought that I'd had my mastectomy. They are all confused and worried while I sit back and feel it's my destiny.
Whatever will be will be.