Hey @Eastmum when I woke up from the DIEP Recon the first words I said to the recovery nurse were "I'm alive!" I was so ecstatic...as it was a long operation, I just didn't know what would happen. They laughed at me...crazy woman...but I was over the moon.
Tell your anaesthetist you are worried when they come and see you prior to surgery and they'l probs give you something initially to calm you down....that's the nice bit :).
Good luck! In 5 days the next stage of your journey will be done and dusted...and new beginnings again x