Is reconstruction right for me -

Here's a link to a site that, if you haven't seen it already, will give you indepth information 
https://www.reclaimyourcurves.org.au/

Take care 

thanks -it's hard making the decision so appreciate all feedback and resources.  Surgery for a reconstruction seems very daunting but it's the recovery that worries me the most. But I'm not sure opting out of reconstruction is the best option just because I'm nervous about recovery.  I don't want to minimise other people's experience though - 

Dear @Catedwyer 

My surgeon preferred to wait a full 12 months after surgery to do any reconstruction (he was very positive about a good outcome though). That took away any pressure at a difficult time. I decided not to have any at all and have never regretted that decision (8 years on). But I can’t overestimate how personal that decision is - there are no wrongs or rights. I too am large breasted - I wear a prosthesis, find it easy and am comfortable about how my body looks. Doing something you are uncertain about is always uncomfortable - your surgeons should be able to provide options for reconstruction now and later, so that you can defer if you feel that’s the best option for you. Best wishes. 

My surgeons feel it can be done now - and of course, I could wait or in fact not go ahead. I don't feel I'm being pressured. I do feel supported.  But I'm full of indecision and I suppose a lot of fear.  And my fear does centre on recovery. But the fear if I choose not to have reconstruction how I would cope with the dealing with that decision. It is ultimately my decision but the unknown and all the uncertainties make it complicated.  It's good to hear other perspective and get those insights.

There's also a private group here that you may benefit from joining 

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/1-choosing-breast-reconstruction

Hi @Catedwyer, my advice is wait wait wait! I had my recon cancelled,( it was supposed to be at the same time as my mastectomy in April) due to covid earlier this year, turns out it was a blessing. 
Ive had time to think about what I want, and I’m seriously considering going flat. Looking back , everything was rushed. Not having recon wasn’t really given as an option, which I believe is problematic

Take your time, do lots of research.
Caz xx

 This was a recent discussion you may be interested in. :)

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/22818/to-remove-or-not-to-remove-that-is-the-question#latest

thank you  - I need to have the mastectomy and I understand the idea of waiting but I feel that sense of urgency. There's so much to consider. Funny, now I'm moving towards recon - terrified of recovery but my size makes me fear managing imbalance. Golly it's hard thinking and  I really appreciate all the generous sharing. 

There are so many options. One off, both off. Recon, no recon. 
If I had my time again, I'd still have removed both my traitorous boobs, but I would not have gone down the cosmetic track.
 I was 43 at the time and having lived most of my life with spectacular knockers, I just couldn't visualise myself flat chested. I should have given that concept more thought.
 I also hadn't considered the ramifications of the reconstructive surgery--it simply never occurred to me that I could have any long term complications because the majority of people don't.
You can't live your life being terrified of what has happened to other people, but I think it is very wise to consider your own priorities. What is more important to you?
The bigger the breasts, the more likely you are going to have surgery on both to even the whole show out if you do reconstruct. Are you OK with that?
Living in regional areas does make those decisions more difficult because of the constant toing and froing concerned. If you live in the city, waiting to see how you feel a bit further down the track is not as complicated as it is if you are trying to get everything over and done with in one hit. Mxx

Hi @Catedwyer I agree with everything that has been mentioned. I really recommend the support resources that have been suggested - I used them to just get a bit of clarity about what I wanted. I had ILC in the left breast and made the decision to have a bilateral mastectomy (BMX) which I had after neoadjuvant chemo. (BMX in June.)
Everything does move so quickly, my head was spinning. I also talked it through with a psychologist to unscramble everything. As has already been said, it is such a personal decision. I knew from the start I wanted a BMX and reconstruction as I did not feel that I could handle the stress of monitoring my extremely dense breast tissue coupled with the fact my breast size was a DD/E cup. My surgeon supported my decision based on density and the type of BC. 
I commenced the reconstruction process immediately - expanders which will be exchanged for implants in December. Both my surgeon and plastic surgeon worked together in the surgery and it took about 3.5 hours.
I am 54 and I have recovered well. The expanders are ‘tight and firm’ and I have had 4 fills - 1/month. The actual fills have not caused me any pain.The treatment and the surgery including the final exchange will take me to almost a year since my diagnosis. I also recommend reading up on the recon process - I joined the private group here and I learnt so much. As you already know, the girls here are brilliant and are so generous with their advice. I couldn’t have the DIEP option because 
My medical crew have been amazing. My plastic surgeon said something that stuck which was that I got to decide from now on what I wanted, unlike during the treatment where I was doing everything I was told and I knew I had to do to get through all of it. Take your time. Once you have done the treatment, you do have time to think and you have choices. I am happy to offer any support I can. I am also wishing you all the very best in whatever decision you make. M x