Forum Discussion

typeonegative's avatar
2 months ago

Can't stop thinking about bad outcomes

Newly diagnosed ++- and scheduled for lumpectomy in 2 weeks followed by radiation if all goes to plan. I'm having intrusive obsessive thoughts about death, particularly dying during the surgery and what my funeral will be like. It's non stop and exhausting and I'm neglecting everything else. I've put together an 'instruction manual' for my husband so he knows how to look after our autistic son properly. Are these thoughts premonitions or just underlying fear? I want it all to stop!

5 Replies

  • Hi types negative,

    All of your thoughts & feelings are all very normal & completely understandable. But it is just fear. I was diagnosed 6 mths ago & in the initial stages I was planning my funeral songs. But I'm not anymore. It does get easier. Be gentle with yourself x

  • typeonegative​  your not alone in having  those fears. Please get in touch with your GP to see a Councellor  or psychologist one that specialises in cancer.  I’ve had to see them myself  and have had great results. Still see one now. Who’s helping me get back on track. I’ve been on this roller coaster for 8 years now. 
    Things have come a long way with treatment for BC. Try not to get too far ahead of yourself. Take it 1 day at a time Find something you enjoy doing and turn your thoughts to planning that.   I have a multitude of different things in different stages of completion. From sewing, knitting jewellery making a huge pile of crossword and find a word book. 
    Colouring books. I just get whichever one takes my fancy at any given time. 
    Im not very good at meditating so I go for distraction. I also have a very small friendship group that I make a point of having a catch up with 1 or 2 we talk about everything but cancer. 
    I will jump onto here and scroll through Friday funnies. Have a laugh at some of the things that have been posted in the past. Also wise words is good to check out. Especially if you’re having a  sleepless night 

    • iserbrown's avatar
      iserbrown
      Member

      Sad to read that the diagnosis has sent your thoughts into a frenzy.

      Hopefully you have been in touch with the Helpline and or a Counsellor to help with coping mechanisms. 

      Once a defined treatment plan is in place hopefully a sort of calm will descend upon you

      Take care

  • Definitely ring our helpline, 1800 500 258 for a 'one on one' chat .... and Charlotte Tottman's podcast series are just terrific to listen to.  

    Wishing you all the best for your surgery xx. Take care

  • Daina_BCNA's avatar
    Daina_BCNA
    Community Manager

    Hi typeonegative,

    Thank you for opening up about your thoughts. You're not alone in feeling overwhelmed, and many in our community will relate to the fear and uncertainty you're experiencing.

    While we wait for others to respond, please reach out to our Helpline 1800 500 258 or speak to your GP, there's always support available.

    In the mean time I have included links to information and supports you may want to consider:


    I hope something above helps, even just a little.

    Take care,

    Daina