I really feel for you,and I understand what you are saying about trying to hide if.I told no one in the beginning,not even my neighbour,who I see every day.I had surgery first,and not one person except my husband and daughter,knew I had only one boob!!!! When chemo started,I had my head shaved 4 days before my first treatment.One day,I suddenly realised that if I just put it out there,instead of trying to avoid everyone,it would be a hell of a lot easier.And it really was!!I didn't actually tell people,but I didn't avoid people either.Now I am 12 months past treatment,I guess it is easy for me to say all this stuff to you.There are some ladies on this network that have sought counselling through their treatment,and have found it very helpful.Perhaps this could help you?The cancer council have a 1800 number that you can call .Now I am 12 months past treatment,I feel really well.I am now in a place,mentally,where I feel SO PROUD to be part of an amazing group of ladies,who have come out the other side,and are living life with more energy than ever before.As for not having a breast,it is nothing to be terrified about.These days,there are so many choices that you have ,like reconstruction,or just wearing a prosthesis.I chose a prosthesis,and I am really ok about it NOW.I do think,that if you take one day at a time,and don't look at acceptance as defeat,rather as ' I can do it' then you will get through this and come out the other side just fine.Your life will go on,but it is just hard to see that now,because chemo messes up our logical thinking.Stay connected on here,because there are so many ladies that have gone before you and know just how you feel.Sending you a big cyber hug.xxx Robyn.