Forum Discussion
My hair is coming off tomorrow :-(
Well my oncologist told me I would lose my hair two weeks after my first chemo. He was right. Even though I foolishly hoped that I would be one of the ones that it wouldn't happen to.
I noticed some strands of hair on my keyboard at work on Thursday. I had been suffering from a constant headache since Tuesday morning and was wondering if it was going to be a sign that my hair loss was about to happen.
I had to wash my hair today and SO much came out I nearly died. I really don't think anything could have prepared me for the sight of seeing my hair clumping in the bottom of the shower.
I have noticeable thin patches at the crown so the inevitable has arrived.
So instead of going to work tomorrow my sister is coming over to cut and then shave my hair down.
I've already had a cry about it and I'm sure it won't be the last.
I know it's only hair as a lot of people tell me BUT losing it is the thing that bothers me the most.
I have a wig ready but I will feel so self conscious going to work with it on on Tuesday.
I feel like I've got a watermelon on my head when I have it on.
I guess I'm not alone in feeling like this. :-(
Linda
21 Replies
- Hi everyone Well my hair is now a number 1 haircut. My sister first of all took it down to a number 4 but my scalp is SO patchy that I told her to take it even shorter. I'm left with this stubble now. I'm guessing this will fall out in time and not grow at all?? I've cried over the loss of my hair - especially when I had to sweep it up and put it in the bin. Heck, I even kept a swatch of it so I can remember what it used to be like. I'm not at the stage of being able to take a pic of my bald head as yet but maybe that will come in time. :-( I wore my wig to work yesterday. I felt extremely self conscious in it. Every time someone came into the office my heart was in my mouth. The girls I work with told me they liked it - in fact one of them likes it so much that she wants to take the wig to her hairdresser so she can get the same cut and style - lol. I'm not sure whether she's just being kind or not. I found after wearing it for nearly 10 hours I was wanting to pull the blasted thing off. I had a headache all day (maybe was from me working myself up about wearing it or maybe was from the wig itself - time will tell) I've ordered some scarves online as I think for the majority of time I will resort to that as I think it will be far more comfortable. Just don't think I can go wigless to work though. :-( In the overall picture I know that losing your hair is a minor thing but so far (for me anyway) its been one of the most upsetting. How long after the chemo treatment stops does the hair take to grow to any decent length? I've heard the first growth can be curly and wiry? So did you all get that cut off and start again with new growth? Linda. XX
- So many things said here that already feel like they are heading into the 'past'. I agree with the photos - I think it is good we can see changes and parts of our journey, both good and bad. Funny about the 'looks' that you may get. I found mostly people were very polite but there seemed to be days when I felt there were 'starers' -- my lovely daughter assured me it was just me feeling a bit uncomfortable and I looked gorgeous anyway ( Sometimes it's so nice to have lovely, supportive and blinkered family!) Now I am starting to grow hair my hubby's way of coping is obviously thinking I am 'back to normal' (his words) and should be starting to be fitter and more able than I feel I can do. I am playing the radiation tiredness until I have finished that in October but as I have mostly coped pretty well I am determined to get back on board my way - slowly! I learnt that the hard way by trying to lift a bag of kitty litter like I used to and now have a very sore shoulder (the one needed to hold over my head for radiation- ouch!) I think I am becoming more comfortable with hats off a bit mostly at home and remote parks, but hubby gives me funny looks if I haven't drawn on my eyebrows - annoys me but I must admit that it looks better with some eye makeup! I had been to the Look Good, Feel Better workshop and that sure helped with the 'how to' part as I'm not usually a makeup person. Sorry all - just had a bit of a ramble as I loved all your comments - thanks to all xx
I remember well the feeling of loss and my beautiful long locks first were cut shorter for hosputal then shorter again when We knew I was going to have chemo and lose my hair. Still nothing prepares one for the itchy scratchy scalp. Kept scratching my head as 4 of us played cards on day 16 after chemo saying this is driving me crazy but at least I haven't lost my hair yet - maybe I won't!. Got up at the end of the game and saw all this hair on the ground! Cried a lot..
I also insisted on having some photos taken with each family member before chemo started and then when I could during the process. I wanted a memory for me and so the boys could look back later on and see the changes as younger one was in his HSC year.
Wish I had more of my lymphoedema journey but by then sons had moved out (diagnosis week after older sons wedding) and hubby didn't want to take any photos of me only talk about all his woes as usual. (We now are separated)
Other things happened nausea, numb feet and hands from Taxol various allergies which I still have but hair loss seemed the worst.
Like others, I had bought a wig - I just felt uncomfortable in it winter and then summer as my head continued to itch if I wore it so I made myself some cotton headscarves out of patchwork in various colours so I could still co-ordinate as usual. Also wore those ghastly cotton terry towel cap things but only at home on bad days after chemo and to bed so my bald head didn't freeze.
teenage sons said didn't mind my nude head - that it until I tried to go out like that ...then it was don't you think you've forgotten soemthings? do you want to try the wig or one of your lovely scarves?
please note silk or synthetic e.g. polyester scarves do not breathe so make irritable scalps worse.
Believe me in the overall scheme of things hair loss is minor since just temporary manifestation of your treatment and vulnerable state while on chemo, suffering chemo brain and likely to catch any bug in an office or other public air conditioned envcvironment.
Be kind to yourself and consider whether you should work while having chemo. Good since "normality" but bad since makes you vulnerable to catching flus and other bugs. perhaps Concentrate on phone calls and econtact for a while?
In the end it is up to you and your medical team to decide what suits your circumstances and health.
hope this helps,
your pink sister,
Carol
I remember well the feeling of loss and my beautiful long locks first were cut shorter for hosputal then shorter again when We knew I was going to have chemo and lose my hair. Still nothing prepares one for the itchy scratchy scalp. Kept scratching my head as 4 of us played cards on day 16 after chemo saying this is driving me crazy but at least I haven't lost my hair yet - maybe I won't!. Got up at the end of the game and saw all this hair on the ground! Cried a lot..
I also insisted on having some photos taken with each family member before chemo started and then when I could during the process. I wanted a memory for me and so the boys could look back later on and see the changes as younger one was in his HSC year.
Wish I had more of my lymphoedema journey but by then sons had moved out (diagnosis week after older sons wedding) and hubby didn't want to take any photos of me only talk about all his woes as usual. (We now are separated)
Other things happened nausea, numb feet and hands from Taxol various allergies which I still have but hair loss seemed the worst.
Like others, I had bought a wig - I just felt uncomfortable in it winter and then summer as my head continued to itch if I wore it so I made myself some cotton headscarves out of patchwork in various colours so I could still co-ordinate as usual. Also wore those ghastly cotton terry towel cap things but only at home on bad days after chemo and to bed so my bald head didn't freeze.
teenage sons said didn't mind my nude head - that it until I tried to go out like that ...then it was don't you think you've forgotten soemthings? do you want to try the wig or one of your lovely scarves?
please note silk or synthetic e.g. polyester scarves do not breathe so make irritable scalps worse.
Believe me in the overall scheme of things hair loss is minor since just temporary manifestation of your treatment and vulnerable state while on chemo, suffering chemo brain and likely to catch any bug in an office or other public air conditioned envcvironment.
Be kind to yourself and consider whether you should work while having chemo. Good since "normality" but bad since makes you vulnerable to catching flus and other bugs. perhaps Concentrate on phone calls and econtact for a while?
In the end it is up to you and your medical team to decide what suits your circumstances and health.
hope this helps,
your pink sister,
Carol
Hi Linda,
I know exactly how you feel - losing my hair was much worse than losing my boobs. My adult children took me shopping for a wig -we went to lunch first, they were very supportive, but I was feeling a bit numb. I chose a wig in a similar style to my usual hair style, but nicer. I wore it everywhere, as I felt more "normal" with it on. Yes it sometimes got uncomfortable, but I got a lot of compliments on my " lovely hair". I thought that people were just trying to make me feel better, but then strangers also complimented me. I even had a man try to chat me up & he said what lovely hair you have (he was being sincere - he even said it was a bit different the next time I saw him).
I wish you all the very best for the future, it is a very hard time, but hang in there, it really does get back to normal after a while. I know I felt like my hair would never grow back, but it did & now it's back to normal (actually I think it's better than it was before) .
- I had my hair shaved off completely the minute I had the tingly on my scalp. I remember even a light breeze hurt. I remember thinking shaving my hair when I chose to was about the only control I was going to get in this whole journey. A very close friend of mine is my hairdresser and she works at a home salon so we arranged to do it when noone was there. I woke 6 days after my first chemo to hair on my pillow and my pubic hair literally washed away down the drain that morning in the shower... I called my 21 year old daughter at uni and said " honey I've got my first Brazilian happening here and I havnt had to pay a cent, I'm doing it with a washer" I decided it would be too emotional for my beautiful friend deb to shave my hair off but I had no idea how hard it would be to find a hairdresser who would. Several hairdressers said no... They wouldn't even clipper it very short. Deb had already cut it quite short in preparation compared to its usually long length. She knew the devastation felt of seeing it falling out in clumps. A lovely hairdresser in a little local salon agreed to do it and whilst she cried at my story as I left close to bald I chose to do my groceries at woolies as I was... No scarf etc and I remember thinking why are all these people staring at me. I feel fantastic. What made it hard for me was on the dark days when you wanted to stay at home and hide people knew I was a cancer patient and that was what I really disliked. The stares and the man opposite me at the self serve at Coles who verbally said Ohhh ohh over and over I didn't want the stares and especially not the sympathy. My children were older... My daughter 21 and my boys 19 and 15. My youngest asked if I could wear a scarf or beanie when I picked him up from school as he didn't want his mates to know as he said " its private to us mum and they might treat me differently if they know you are sick ". My older kids said go bald mum, we love you as a baldy. I was lucky to be comfy as a baldy. I wore scarves a little bit and on cold days I had my favourite beanie someone had knotted and donated to the chemo ward. I never did the wig thing as it just wasn't me. I remember my gorgeous bcna bestie Mich emailing me the day she finally went wig free as well as when she had her first haircut. I was devastated when I lost my eye lashes and eye brows completely one morning I woke and my lashes were gone and my eyebrows wiped off with a washer. That was the day I booked into look good feel better. Linda everyone copes with all the different obstacles so differently. Hopefully by sharing our stories with you someone can post something that will make you feel better at this difficult time. As bad as you may feel about things keep a photo record as you may regret it if you don't. I look back at photos and it makes me remember how far and how much I went through and that makes you stronger I think. I have a pic of me at my last chemo with my fluff on my head dyed hot pink. My daughter and I loved doing it together and when the chemo nurses asked what we wre doing to celebrate my 16 chemos were over I took off my beanie and we all laughed. All the best Linda Take care and remember all the pink sisters here ready to hold your hand and walk the path with you xxx
- Hi Linda Losing your hair is difficult on lots of levels. It changes how we look and makes it obvious to others that we are undergoing treatment for cancer. It is therefore really important to get comfortable with what you use - wig, hat, turban or scarf etc - to cover your bare head. If you can get to a Look Good Feel Better workshop these are excellent for experimenting with different head covers and wigs in a comfortable environment. We all feel self-conscious at first but it does get easier as you and others get used to your new look. I wear both a wig (mostly in public) and turban hats. I have had a number of perfect strangers give me compliments about the turban hats (from headcovers) and feel very comfortable wearing these most places. My wig is very close to how my real hair was (only minus the grey bits!) and is great when I don't want to be reminded about cancer for a while. At the end of the day you are still 'you' no matter what is on your head. My daughter says, 'I don't even notice what is on your head, you are just Mum to me'. The people who you care about and who care about you will not care about your hair loss. Experiment with different looks until you find things that work for you. If you feel comfortable so will everyone else. You can still look good, just different! Deanne xx
- Hi Sue Every time I go into the bathroom I find myself looking at my hair - or what's left of it I should say. I even tried to convince myself that maybe I could have delayed the shaving of it, and gone into work today. But realistically my hair brush is full of hair and its all over me too. I'm going to get lots of scarves I think. Our summers are way too hot for me anyway let alone if I have a big boofy wig on. I just don't know if I have the courage to go wigless to work. I already feel sick in the stomach about having to wear it in tomorrow. :-( Linda XX
- Thanks Tonya My hairdresser had recommended headcovers to me as well. When I was first of all diagnosed I ordered a sleep cap and a scarf/cap from them. Of course now that I'm faced with the inevitable I will definitely be ordering more. But in the meantime I will have to make do with the wig I guess. Even though I will feel ridiculous in it. Linda XX
Oh Linda I thought I wouldn't mind so much but I was sad when mine finally did the 'clump' thing in the shower too! My hairdresser shaved it for me the next day after hours and we made it a little ceremony! I got a wig from the Cancer council library but over the months have not worn it at all - I have got lots of caps and colourful scarves which I preferred. I do find that no matter what you wear you end up 'hitching' at it to keep/put it in place as it shifts when you turn your head! Chin up my dear and good luck on your journey. Sue xx
