I apologize in advance for this post. Firstly, I was diagnosed with grade 3 invasive breast cancer (her2+. er+) in Nov 2013. Had lumpectomy, chemo, radiation, then ovaries out in Sept 14. Since then, my life is hell. I can't sleep, I sweat profusely ALL the time (every 15 mins or so I get the hot flushes), I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to talk to anyone, have no patience with anyone, I cry alot and in general just have this horrible feeling in my gut all the time. I feel that I can't talk to anyone, as they all think I'm fine, treatment is finished, what am I complaining about? In comparison to how I am feeling now, treatment was a breeze. I tell myself "pull yourself together, there are people out there in worse situations", but I just can't get out of this funk. A couple of friends have slowly been distancing themselves from me, I think maybe they're sick of hearing about it a year and a bit down the track. Anyway, big apologies, I just need to get this stuff of my chest before I go completely insane. I don't expect any sympathy from anyone, just understanding.

As Deanne says,you have had a terrible time,and add to everything,the hormonal changes,and it becomes pretty much a nightmare.I have a couple of suggestions that may help,if only a little.First up,stay connected on here,because many ladies are also getting relentless hot flushes.You have to experience them to truly know how debilitating they can be,I actually wrote a blog post about mine,several months ago,because I was getting them from the minute I woke up in the morning,constantly,with a bit of a reprieve between 1 and 4 in the afternoon.Then all night they would wake me up.I feel that perhaps calling the Cancer council helpline and chatting to them,would be a good start,especially if you don't like going out of the house at present.Try only drinking ICE COLD water during the day to lower your core temperature.Only wear cotton tops,like cotton t shirts,and never wear long sleeves,Buy yourself a chillow pillow onlineThey are cheap,and they are BLOODY FANTASTIC !! You can also get a cooling pad that you lay on,but I haven't needed that now.The one other thing that I have done,and I urge you to try it( because it cant hurt) is buy a bottle of Blackmores MagMin.Its a magnesium supplement.Take 2 in the morning and 2 mid afternoon.One last thing,try to get out of the house and take a walk each day.I found it interesting,that even when my hot flushes were at their peak,I hardly ever had one when I was walking!! It's also difficult when you have a young family to care for.I am 14 months past chemo now,and it's still in my mind every day.We will never get truly past it,but you can learn to live with it.My hot flushes took several months to even look like they were starting to settle down.These days I have 4 or 5 a day.Definitely more if I am stressed.All the best and please stay in touch on here.Cheers xoxRobyn

Thanks ladies, it really helps to know that I am not going insane, that it will get better in time. I will take on board your suggestions, especially the exercise. I used to exercise regularly, I had just started cross fit when diagnosed. I have gone from a size 10 to 16, so I really have to find my lost mojo and get my bum off the couch. I will start tonight after dinner. I am starting an anti-depressant next week that is supposed to calm the flushes a little. At this point, I am willing to try anything. The kids (7,10,12) need their mum back too, not this grumpy stranger. Thanks again for taking the time to reply to my post, it means the world to me. I might also add a major part of my frustrations at the moment is the way my surgeon has been treating me. He told me basically if my life is that bad, to stop taking my medication (arimidex) and to go onto HRT, when all of my treatment has been to stop my hormones. He also made comment prior to taking my portacath out that he hopes he doesn't have to put it back in. I feel a little let down and will be letting my oncologist know. I don't think she will be very happy!

Your surgeon sounds like a real D.....K !!!!It is really hard to get started,but baby steps are the way to go!! Try writing down what exercise you do each day,and that way you will get a clearer picture of where you can change things and juggle things around.Dont expect too much of yourself,because any step forward is good.It takes TIME:):) Roll on winter I say,because the hot flushes don't like summer!!! XoxRobyn

Oh Boy! I agree with Robyn about your surgeon! I also think it helps to write down what you do exercise wise. Give yourself a pat on the back for everything you achieve and maybe a little reward every now and then too. I bet you will find that your family will notice the little changes and this helps you to feel better too. Think of your exercise as a positive thing (do what you enjoy rather than forcing yourself to do something too difficult). Maybe use music to motivate yourself too. I found this worked wonders for me. Sometimes the words of some songs would actually make me cry but they also helped me to feel stronger. I also went to a physio who specialized in helping people who have had Cancer. She became my own personal cheer squad and really helped me to notice every improvement I made. You can see your GP who can fill out a form (I forget what it is called) that gives you 5 subsidized visits to a physio or exercise physiologist through Medicare. Good luck and let us know how you go. Deanne xxx

Hate to say it but I went through the same thing as you. I finished treatment and expected things to start getting better but the menopause and fatigue from rads left me pretty angry. My poor kids and husband! I knew that it wasn't me and it wasn't the new me that I wanted. My onc prescribed Prestiq and after about a month of taking it my moods panned out - not so high or low, the tears stopped and I was so angry all the time. I took it for 6 months until I was ready to stop them, it took a couple of months to come off them but I have been feeling good. I catch myself every now and again getting worked up over nothing so I am consciously trying to let the little things go. It does get better with time, my flushes have settled a lot but I not a bucket of sweat like I used to be. My girlfriends laugh when I have a flush and I just go with it and say 'your time will come' I will have the last laugh!

Menopause | BCNA Online Network

16 Replies

Gillian2069
Member
11 years ago
Thanks JessicaV for your thoughts.

I'm currently seeking out a new oncologist due to communication problems with my current one.

One thing i have sorted out along the way is the discrepancy between the kind of care I'm looking for and the care oncologists offer. I'm looking for best possible outcomes and specific suggestions for actions I can take to support the surgery/chemo/radiotherapy/hormone regime and to reduce the likelihood of cancer re-occurence. I'm not sure anyone offers this kind of advice, though I'm finding lots of useful information from reputable online resources.

My oncologist seems to have a very narrow focus - how to administer and monitor the chemo and hormone therapy. Even in this narrow field she's shown that she can't explain some things in ways my husband and I can understand. Hence our interest in finding someone else.

So far, my side effects have been mild, but if I do get into conversations about side effects and possibly reducing treatment doses, I'll know from your advice to ask some very specific questions.

Yes, I'd be willing to take part in your research.
June1952
Member
11 years ago
Hi there

Yes, Effexor is OK ! It is a different type of anti-depressant than the ones which prevent the anti-hormone drugs from doing their job. Zoloft is one of the drug types which are not compatible.

One thing is that these anti-depressants do help put on weight so that is one thing to watch.

Your GP can prepare an EPC - Enhanced Primary Care Program referral which gives you 5 free physio sessions. Be aware, though, that some practices do only allow you to see the less experienced physios with this and some don't accept them at all so ask ahead of time.

Your GP can also prepare a referral for 5 free sessions with a counsellor under the Mental Health Program if you feel you are struggling and need to speak with an 'outsider'.

As other ladies have said, use this site as you will find heaps of ladies who come on line and give you support when you need some. Vent away as it is better to do it here, get it of your chest and be calmer when your children and partner arrive home !

You may find one or more ladies who you feel have similar values and ideas as you and you can make 'friends', using the private message area for a while and then maybe exchanging private email addresses and making personal contact.

Good luck, get well and just be yourself - you will get through the bad times.

Hugs

Summer :-)
June1952
Member
11 years ago
Hi there

Yes, Effexor is OK ! It is a different type of anti-depressant than the ones which prevent the anti-hormone drugs from doing their job. Zoloft is one of the drug types which are not compatible.

One thing is that these anti-depressants do help put on weight so that is one thing to watch.

Your GP can prepare an EPC - Enhanced Primary Care Program referral which gives you 5 free physio sessions. Be aware, though, that some practices do only allow you to see the less experienced physios with this and some don't accept them at all so ask ahead of time.

Your GP can also prepare a referral for 5 free sessions with a counsellor under the Mental Health Program if you feel you are struggling and need to speak with an 'outsider'.

As other ladies have said, use this site as you will find heaps of ladies who come on line and give you support when you need some. Vent away as it is better to do it here, get it of your chest and be calmer when your children and partner arrive home !

You may find one or more ladies who you feel have similar values and ideas as you and you can make 'friends', using the private message area for a while and then maybe exchanging private email addresses and making personal contact.

Good luck, get well and just be yourself - you will get through the bad times.

Hugs

Summer :-)
mgndam1603
Member
11 years ago
we need all the help we can get and don't need our meds battling each other do we.

I hope that all is well for you.

Donna
emrod11
Member
11 years ago
Thanks for your comment, I am on Arimidex as I am post menopausal. Tamoxifen didn't agree with me at all. As far as I know Efexor and Arimidex are fine to be used together.
Mozzie_Bear
Member
11 years ago
Hi Emrod11, This one is a bit left field but I have found using flannette rather than cotton sheets to be helpful. Cotton just ends up soaking wet but for some reason the flannette isn't as bad and I have slept better since the change including summer time.

Also I agree with the ice cold water and always wearing layers you can easily dispense with. Winter is better - at least you can cool off outside. Another idea is a little portable fan if your working.

It is tough going straight into menopause so good luck and try to stay positive.
Gillian2069
Member
11 years ago
I'm still in the early stages of chemo (2 down, 14 to go) but my favourite 'helper' is the physio at the hospital. I've seen her a few times and I really trust her guidance. She gives me treatment for cording and exercises for general strength and fitness. It really encourages me to walk every day and to take time to do the exercises she showed me.

She explained that my fitness level would drop during chemo/radiotherapy, but regular exercise would stop it dropping too far, so I would have a better platform to rebuild after all the treatment.

If you were doing crossfit, you must have had a high level of fitness and a lot of determination. These are great things to tap into now as you get yourself going again.

Good luck!

Gillian
mgndam1603
Member
11 years ago
Some information I thought I would pass along, one of the ladies in my group has said her doctor told her Efexnor decreases the effectiveness of Tamoxifin. Maybe worth checking out.

cheers

Donna
mgndam1603
Member
11 years ago
The ladies have given you some fantastic advice and please remember we are here, we ladies that are past treatments still have issues.

Like Robyn I bought the chill mat because my hot flushes were horrific, they have finally settled but I do have issues with bone pain. I have come to terms with taking meds for that if needed. I also take the Magnisium and tha is a big help, I do still get bothered with cramps but nothing like it was.

I agree you surgeon is not being helpful, have an open discussion with you onc regarding the meds the side effects and your general well being.

I sang from the rooftops that whilst Iwas going through treatment I sought a psycholgist, she was wonderful a person outside my family and friendship group that listen with no judgement. I think I saw her for about 6 months and she settled me and helped me realise that I can't control everything and that its ok.

Good luck and sending you hugs

Donna

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